Well I heard Pedro took his physical. He’s on the premises people, but no word on any kind of contract, so forget about Petey. I’ll roll out some live commentary on the first few innings of the Mid-Summer Classic. Please feel free to send in thoughts, comments, whatever during the game. Disparaging remarks about the announcers are a personal favorite. Personal attacks at players are also welcome. I may do a shot every time Joe Buck 1)mentions his father, 2) laughs at his own joke, 3) Mentions his HBO show. Speaking of which, Artie Lange on Buck’s Show. Sooper Awkward.
8:01 PM– Super high sap factor in the Opening Segment, but if you don’t like Jack Buck’s “On a homerun by the Wizard” call…then you probably don’t like baseball, and should turn the game off. Buck mentions his dad…drink.
8:03 PM — Barack met the players before the game…he’s just one of the guys that Obama. I thinking he kind of throws a little hump back change-up for this first pitch. A strike, but nothing special. For the next hour, we’ll be introduced to everyone in the stadium.
8:08 PM– The fans are so nice in St. Louis. I don’t think they’re going to boo anyone. I’m having trouble processing this. Let’s wait for a Yankee to get introduced. Monster ovation for Mo Rivera…do these people care if they win or lose? The entire Rays team made the squad apparently as well…including Ben Zobrist, my least favorite player. I would have booed the hell out of that mullet.
8:11 PM — Ok, they booed Ted Lilly. That makes me feel a little better. He is Ted Lilly. They just announced tonight’s losing pitcher, Trevor Hoffman.
8:17 PM– I think I saw tears in men’s eyes in the stands when Pujols was introduced. Maybe it’s allergies. Shane Victorino worst All-Star/non-fan vote starter ever?
8:19 PM — Where do they store these giant American flags they use for these games, and how many of them are there? Are they regional? Like Goodyear blimps?
8:31 PM — Sheryl Crow with the anthem…a Missouri native, who knew? Paula and Randy liked it, Simon thought it was something you’d hear on a cruise ship.
8:37 PM — Can I say the Cleveland Show looks terrible? I mean, I didn’t even cringe, crack a smile, nothing…during that preview. Seth McFarlane is the M. Night whatever of animated sitcoms.
8:39 PM — I’m more excited to see Stan the Man than Barack’s opening pitch. I always like to watch the players when the old guys like Musial come out. Pretty cool…Musial could “flat hit” by all accounts. Here comes Barack…Verdict on his first pitch: Not too shabby. Verdict on my pizza: Delicious. It’s delivery, not DiGiorno.
8:43 PM –McCarver’s already pissing me off. He butched 4 words, sounds drunk, and said, “buoyed the Blue Jays”
8:48 PM — Forgot about the extra innings last year already. McCarver has said three of the following four things about Lincecum. He’s “Bionic”, “Amazing”, “Remarkable”, and “Cute.”
8:49 PM — Who is Ken Rosenthal, and why is he doing Erin Andrews’s job? They should have that guy interrogate prisoners of war. They’d give everything up in seconds. Lincecum gives up a broken bat base-hit to Ichiro to start the game. It’s all right, he’s still “dynamite in the sack” according to McCarver. Maybe Jeter will ground into a DP.
8:55 PM — Jeter gets plunked. Unfortunately hand doesn’t appear to be broken. I think McCarver’s baseball memories are about 50% accurate. The rest are just dreams he’s had or someone else’s stories. After the first run of the game scores on a Pujols error, McCarver calls him “Louie”
9:00 PM — 2-0 American League. National League playing like half-hearted Little Leaguers who just want their dog and soda after the game. Finally out of it…It’s Roy time baby. Can’t wait to hear adjective choice.
9:03 PM — Halladay is Toronto’s I-Beam.
9:05 PM — Utley puts his video study to use by grounding out to first. Is this a JV/Varsity game? Albert Pujols attempts to make up for his error by hitting a seed at Michael Young. Maybe the luckiest pick-up I’ve ever seen a pro make, but still a 1-2-3 innting.
9:11 PM — They’re letting Roy Halladay hit. This would be a classic time for a beanball injury, at which point JP Ricciardi would throw himself out of the box he’s sitting in. Halladay is wearing a generic blue helmet. This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. It looks like gym class softball.
9:16 PM –Bing.com is the first ever “decision engine”. Do they make hot girlfriend engines? Oh yeah, it’s called Craigslist.
9:17 PM — Obama is in the booth. This guy could sell burgers at a PETA convention. By the way, someone turn off McCarver’s mic before it gets awkward. NL gets a broken bat hit, and then a clean single by Shane Victorino. Just like I said, deserving starter. Hometown hero Yadier Molina…base hit. American League pays back an error, and it’s 2-2. Both these pitchers stink…
9:29 PM — National League takes a 3-2 lead on Little Cecil’s RBI double. I’m tempted to quit while I’m ahead, but I’ll do one more inning. It’s hard to actually watch the game doing this…I think I’ve said the before.
9:32 PM — Hometown closer Rich Franklin enters for the NL. I don’t know who is on the NL staff, but I guess they definitely watned to get this guy an inning. I like it. Let’s pack it in, and win this thing 3-2.
9:36 PM — Chase flies out to center. I’m pretty spent. I think I’m packing it in. The NL isn’t losing this thing on my watch.
–Pedro has apparently signed with the Phillies. The announcement should come tomorrow, and Pedro could be ready to pitch in the big leagues by early August. If he heads to Lehigh Valley for any of his rehab starts, we’ll be sure to have a full report. Pedro on the Phils. Total mindblower…