Who Are They Kidding?

At Least Somewhere Here has A Sense of Humor.

At Least Somewhere Here has A Sense of Humor.

So, I’ve got another problem.  Yeah, hard to believe.  On the day we learn the Las Vegas UFL team will be named The Locomotives (worst name ever?), it’s hard to believe that something is bothering me, but it is.  I don’t know who is at fault either, and that’s even more troubling.  I don’t know where to direct my ferocity, but someone needs a reprimand, and it’s whoever is naming these streets and developments. 

Now, I grew up on a street called Rabbit Run.  And, as corny and faux-quaint as that may sound, at least you would occasionally see a rabbit.  It wasn’t called Grazing Giraffe Ave.  This leads me into my point.  Today I passed a road called Cape Cod Avenue.  The people that live on this street know they don’t actually live on Cape Cod, right?  And, they know that Cape Cod is an actual place?  This street is practically closer to Cape Horn than Cape Cod.  I’d feel like an idiot.  Yeah, I’m over there on Cape Cod Ave.  Unless you’re talking to some mullet that’s lives on Martha’s Vineyard Way…you’re basically going to sound like a stooge. 

The same things apply to developments.  I have two major problems.  First, what the hell is a Toftree?  I’ve seen Toftwoods.  What does this mean?  Tof? Toft?  I’m baffled.  It drives me crazy.  Secondly, if you live in some golf course development, don’t name the place after a course that is already famous.  If you live in St. Andrews Woods, at the corner of Augusta and Pinehurst Lanes…then you’re an idiot.  You probably paid too much for your house, and can get lost in your own development because every place looks the same. 

Let me shed some light.  There’s actually a St. Andrews.  It’s in Scotland.  You think they’re over there in Scotland building developments called White Tail Deer Crossing Farms Plantation at the Ridge?  I don’t think so.  They might know what the bleep a Toftree is, though. 

I know that there are too many streets, too many developments, and maybe that is the problem.  We ran out of good names in like 1785.  But, that still doesn’t change the fact that I’d like to know who is responsible for this nonsense.  Is it the developers?  Some type of planning committee?  We need to get some more creative people at the helm here.  I can bring it all back to White Men Can’t Jump.  Sidney Dean lives at the Vista View apartments, and to quote him, “There ain’t no Vista.  There ain’t no View.  And there sure as hell ain’t no Vista of no damn View.”

Looking For Value.

Hundo wins you 8 dimes.

Hundo wins you 8 dimes.

I was taking a long look at the odds to win the PGA Championship.  If you believe in the old adage that these guys who set the lines know what they’re talking about then it’s going to take some creativity to a) have a decent payday, and b) come up with a not Woodsian winner.  Tiger is going off at 3/2, and the next shortest odds are Phil and Harrington at 22/1.  I’m no math wizard, but that seems like a pretty big gap.  What these Vegas people are saying is, there is a lot of money on Tiger this week.  I have to admit, it does kind of feel like Secretariat going off at 1/10 in the Belmont.  There’s no value there, but he’s still going to win, right?  Maybe, maybe not.  It’s been an odd year in the Majors. 

If we have a second Masters:  Big Angel won the Masters.  He was probably considered somewhere on the outer fringe of being a World Class player.  A long hitting, slightly streaky former U.S. Open Champion.  There’s not a ton of long hitting U.S. Open champs in the field, but a one-time major winner who I would equate to Cabrera pre-Masters is sitting at 66/1, and that’s Mike Weir.  Say Weir doesn’t have the length to win at Hazeltine, and he probably doesn’t, but where does he have the length to win?  He’s coming off a top-ten last week, and Minnesota is close to Canada, right?

Second U.S. Open:  Lucas Glover won the Open, and it’s a lot easier to find guys that fit this mold than Cabrera’s.  Young, great ball-strikers with slightly underachieving results are pretty easy to find out on Tour.  How about Chad Campbell at 100/1?  Or perhaps, Andres Romero at 125/1.  There’s also the young guys with slightly better resumes than Glover had.  Hunter Mahan is 28/1.  Sean O’Hair is 66/1, and the star of the caption, Nick Watney is 80/1. 

Second British:  Well, clearly there isn’t going to be a Tom Watson-esque run.  As much as I’d like to think that Fred will rise from the ashes this week…he hasn’t played in an eternity, and will be lucky to make the cut.  Picking the next Stewart Cink is easy.  His name is Steve Stricker.  He’s 33/1.  If you were looking at an older guy to make a little charge this week, maybe take a dabble in Davis Love III.  Davis is 125/1 this week, and is in need of a miracle to make the President’s Cup team.  I know he wanted to make this squad, and play for his boy Fred.  Time is running out. 

The thing about all these scenarios is…they’ve basically all already happened this year.  So, they’re out.  Forget them.  Who has a chance to beat Tiger?  The problem is that if Tiger is really close to top form the list of guys that can actually beat him shrinks considerably.  Someone really good is going to have to get very hot.  In my mind, the list is Mickelson, Stenson, Goosen, Harrington, and Singh.  And, I’m not talking about Jeev. 

In summary, tune in Sunday for Tiger’s victory lap.