Brooks Bollinger is Tearing up the UFL

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The Star of the Florida Tuskers.

Happy Veterans Day everyone.  Um, so I was thinking about this Larry Johnson story.  No one wants any piece of this guy, and it made me wonder if he was done, or if he’d start bouncing around, lingering, embarrassing himself…that kind of thing.  One of the first things that popped into my mind was the UFL.  If you remember correctly the UFL is the upstart professional football league that is attempting to becoming the newest proving ground for future NFL players.  Back when J.P. Losman signed with the Vegas team, we did a little post, made fun of potential team names, and predicted its demise.  Since?  I hadn’t heard a peep about it.  Well, they’re playing. 

Apparently, these games are being televised on Versus.  Who knew?  The season got underway in early October, and the runaway stars of the League have been the Florida Tuskers.  Now, this is an odd name choice, is it not?  Is tusk a verb?  I suppose it is now.  Regardless, the Tuskers are a 4-0 offensive juggernaut.  At the helm?  Brooks Bollinger, who is trying to go all Warren Moon and parlay bush league stats into an NFL gig.  Of course, that’s  not a viable comparison in any way.  Moon’s CFL was far more legit, and Bollinger has already proven himself to be an epic fail in the NFL.  He’s got the Tuskers clicking, though. 

Among the great things about the UFL’s website, is that at first glance there doesn’t appear to be a link to the league’s standings.  I guess this is like T-Ball, and everyone gets a participation trophy, and they move on.  There are stats however, and so let’s take a look at some classic names, and how they are doing in the old UFL. 

Brooks Bollinger:  68% completion percentage, 1090 yards, 11/2 Td to INTs.  Wow.  Someone’s going to be holding a clipboard next season. 

J.P. Losman: 64% completion percentage, 994 yards, 8/2 Td to INTs.  The poor man’s Brooks Bollinger.  Someone could be getting a call from the Man-Genius. 

Mike McMahon: 46% completion percentage, 205 yards, 1/4 Td to INTs.  Proving that not EVERYONE can play QB in the UFL. 

Remember Tatum Bell?  He’s the League’s third leading rusher. 

The UFL’s leading receiver:  Taye Biddle.  19 catches for 352 yards. 

The disappointing thing about the UFL is that they didn’t get as many names as I thought they would.  I’m far from a football junkie, but I scanned the rosters, and didn’t see a lot of guys I’ve heard of.  Perhaps they are sticking to their premise of using young guys, guys that could still have a future in the NFL.  But, I did see Simeon Rice on a roster, which was amusing, and Tim Rattay is J.P. Losman’s backup.  A lot of QB depth in Vegas.  Maybe Larry Johnson is the perfect complement to that offense.

Season Ends for Best Show on TV.

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Season Four Cannot Come Soon Enough.

So, I finally watched the season finale of Mad Men Tuesday night.  In retrospect, I was an idiot to wait this long, and if you haven’t seen Mad Men yet…well, I’m not going to insult you, but I feel sorry for you.  If I was one of these highly principled people who didn’t own a TV, I’d buy one to watch this show.  There’s simply nothing better than it on television, and I cannot be persuaded otherwise.  Certainly other shows entertain.  There are the cheap thrills of Californication, the glorious awkwardness of Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Office, but nothing stands in Mad Men’s league.  I’ll go as far to say the third season finale was easily one of the best television shows I’ve ever seen. 

I know it’s on AMC, and a lot of people couldn’t find AMC on their cable package if you gave them an hour, but haven’t we learned in recent years that the channel doesn’t matter?  Throw out the stereotypes.  What AMC is doing is far surpassing anything on the major networks or premium cable stations.  Mad Men is beautifully written, and much like real life it can’t be easily classified as a comedy, or drama…it’s just constantly evolving.  The characters, down to the smallest role are all brilliant.  If you can’t identify with at least one person on this show, I’d be surprised.  There is something for everyone. 

I’d say this third season was easily the best as it resolved past conflicts, provided gut-wrenching drama, and ended with the plot completely up in the air.  The future of almost all the main characters is in doubt, and now we will have to wait several long months to see it resolved.  I hope we don’t lose the brilliance of January Jones as Betty Draper, she is afterall our favorite “Main Line Spoiled Brat” as Don called her this past week.  I’m sure the writers will find a way to keep giving Betty her swings.  She always takes advantage of them. 

So, what I’m saying is, I guess I wish more people I knew watched this show.  Half the fun is talking about it, and I don’t remember having such desire to water-cooler a show since the first season of Laguna Beach.  I’m kidding.  Kind of.  But, really…if this show was on Wednesday on ABC it’d be the biggest thing in the World.  You’d be addicted.  As it is, it remains slightly in the shadows, competing with football Sunday on a channel most people associate with black and white films.  Do yourself a favor, rent the DVDs, and get ready to jump on board for season four.  Should be a good one.