There’s certain things that bother me in sports. Traditions, practices that have spiraled out of control, blatantly pointless activities. Time to share a few, off the top of my head. Feel free to add your own at the end.
1. Visiting the Mound. It’s baseball’s version of the time-out, and yet the restrictions on it are a little loose for my taste. Baseball needs to speed up, and trips to the mound are a constant drag. I think it might be more that we all know the guy isn’t saying anything, someone starts warming up furiously, the ump has to meander out to break it up. I’m tired of the routine. One non-pitching change trip to the mound a game for the coaching staff. These guys are pros, brief them before the inning.
2. Preseason Polls. The most idiotic of sports practices. Let’s rank teams based on absolutely nothing, artificially inflate the chances of random teams for having a good season, and kill other teams chances before they get started. Sounds amazing. I understand that people constantly need rankings and lists to bicker about, but we can’t wait a couple weeks? Really?
3. Freezing the Kicker. As far as I’m concerned, it never works. Is this the hidden ball trick of the NFL? Now there’s like the double secret super last second freeze, and the guy ends up kicking it before they blow it dead. How often does this happen now? Then we have to watch a whole other field goal attempt. Enough with the stupid gimmicks, it doesn’t work.
4. NBA Time-outs. How many time-outs do these teams get? Seriously, I’m asking. 24? Has an NBA team ever ran out of time-outs? Every tie up, every time someone’s going out-of-bounds, every time they can’t inbound the ball…time-out. Full, thirty-second, whatever. When you have to invent 30 second time-outs because the time-out is being called for a pointless reason, that’s too many time-outs. I also hate when a team goes on like a six point run, and the announcers say, “Oh man, they need to get a time-out.” Or, they could just score or get a stop.
5. Extra Points. Yawn. Are you sensing a prejudice against kickers?
6. About Six NHL Teams. I mean, come on. The Florida Panthers? Name a player. Scott Mellanby? Find me a fan. Do we even know what city they play in? Are the Coyotes bankrupt yet? At the very least move some of these teams back to Canada. 10 million Canadians watched the US/Canada hockey game Sunday. How many Americans? 8+ million. (we have a SLIGHT population advantage by the way).
7. The NFL dressing its Coaches. Sure, there are some guys like Fat Andy that probably appreciate the shipment of 4-XL black golf shirts every year and the hats with the awful graphics, but this remains the only league where coaches dress like gym teachers. Hooded sweatshirts? Ok, we get it, you spend 21 hours a day at the facility, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hop in a shower and make yourself presentable before the game.
8. The Gatorade Bath.
9. The Pants rule in Golf. At least wave it when the temps hit 90 degrees or something. What are they trying to prove? I’m not offended watching guys play in shorts. The caddies wear shorts, everyone at the tournament is in shorts. Give the guys an option. You could argue that looking at a guy sweat through his pants is equally offensive. Fight sw-ass.
10. The $8 beer. I mean, come on! We’re in a god damn recession. Economic stimulus? How about the government puts a salary cap on beer. I’m not saying dollar beer night, but a twenty spot should cover a round of four beers. It’s Miller Lite. Honestly, I’d rather pay $5 more the ticket than feel like I’m getting gouged every time I buy a beer.