3-Putt as a Dog.

Grossy! Get back Here!

So, I happened to find myself in an area populated by dog walkers.  What was I doing there?  None of your concern, really.  The point is, I was there, and there were dogs there.  I was minding my own business.   All of a sudden I’m being rushed at by what looks to me at first glance as a miniature Doberman.  For those of you that don’t know, these are very miniature.  The thing probably weighed 20 lbs.  The dog didn’t look terribly friendly, but again it was tiny, and I’m not afraid of any dog, not in this scenario.  I’d be one of those idiots that said, “Oh, dogs like me,” and then my hand would get gnarled off.  Mini-Doberman wasn’t a problem, though, it was kind of bouncing around five yards from me, representing some kind of toughness, but not being convincing at all.

I have begun to wonder at this point who the dog belongs to.  I’d say leashes are used approximately 50% of the time at this location, and I’m all for letting the dogs roam free, but it’s nice if they are friendly and/or listen.  Some people are afraid of dogs, should they have to deal with this growling Napoleon complex that was dancing around me?  Finally some guy appears, and he’s basically yelling at the top of his lungs, “Michael!  Michael!”   This happens to be my name, and for a second I wonder if I have stumbled across some long-lost third cousin.  Then it occurs to me, he’s talking to the dog.  The dog’s name is Michael?  What the hell?

I suppose if your name is Buster or Mittens this probably happens to you all the time, but this was honestly the first time I’d ever encountered a dog named Michael.  And, let me be honest, I don’t think I liked it that much.   It was an odd situation to be in, because Michael is about as common of a name as you can get, but yet I like to go around thinking I’m quite uncommon.  When your namesake is a Mini-Doberman, though, that’s kind of deflating.  It wasn’t even a dog that I’d like.  I might have felt different if “Michael” was some kind of lumbering hoss of a Newfoundland.  That’s representing.

I’m a little worried that Michael is going to become a trendy dog name.  Ever since I read Freakonomics, I’m very aware of all the science and trends about name popularity.  I liked my name right where it was before.  Prevalent among humans, unheard of in canine populations.  My general stance has always been human names don’t work best for dogs, but there were notable exceptions.  If you had a dog named Leroy for example, I would think that was amazing, but then again, my name isn’t Leroy.  When the tables were turned, I wasn’t liking it so much.

I guess, all I’m saying is, whatever happened to Spot?

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15 thoughts on “3-Putt as a Dog.

  1. agreed Michael is a terrible canine name. however if the owner yelled out “grossy” that would have been amazing

  2. I have a fervent hatred for people who name their dogs “human” names. It’s annoying. They’re animals, give them a fun name. Or name them after a character or something in a book/movie.

  3. freakin’ hilarious.

    love it when 3-Putz doesn’t write about sports, unless it’s sports the dog or art or movie or alcoholic beverage.

    name games! fun.

    for the record, the dog’s name is pronounced michael where yours is like the French, Michel?

    No?? oh, and i BETCHA 3-Putt could do a top 100 list of worst dog or human names?

    Q

  4. I love people names for Dogs. I feel like it gives the dog even more personality, as if that is possible.

    Dog’s we’ve had over the years

    Beau
    Kelly
    Marcus
    Those three were before i had the ability to name dogs.

    Reggies (Named after Reggie White. I wanted Jerome, but that was cut down)
    Brie (Named after Brian Dawkins and Westbrook)
    Wes (Named after Wes Hopkins. Jerome was denied again, along with Andre for Andre Waters and Donnie for McNabb was rejcted as well)

    Just my .02 and since I’ve been away for a while, why not drop it in there.

  5. Whatever works…

    I suppose its case by case basis. I like most of those names. Jerome I think is amazing. Kelly wouldn’t be my first choice, but its all personal preference.

    It was just strange as hell to hear that guy call his dog Michael..

    wild stuff.

    I’ve had both.

    In the non-human category we had: Judge, Chinker, Jammer, Rockie (kind of a tweener)

    Not Terribly Common Human Names: Basha, Buffy, Cammie

    Pretty Common: Lucie, Bekah…

  6. Over the weekend I nearly flipped a golf cart. It was on its side, which is pretty awesome. You have to wait until the end to see me. I’m in a long sleeve silverish shirt and obvisouly wasted.

    The attire from a lot of these guys is incredible too.

  7. Wow.

    You are a train wreck. Can we get a little more detail here?

    Were there golf course employees around to witness this?

  8. Here’s how it goes…

    There is a golf outing thingy up in New York.

    We drink beer and play golf. Cell phones don’t work up there and no one else plays the course except us. It is a shit show.

    We play Thursday, Friday and Saturday (This year Saturday was rained out).

    So after the round on Friday about 50 guys go to a par 3 and throw doen $5 a man. Closest to the pin take it all.

    There is a nice little valley between the green and tee. I wsa about 5 shots of jack and a couple beers deep, lost concentration and off the side I went.

    Here is a clip of the action the 18th green. It gets worse as more groups approach the green.

    Go to th 3:38 mark and watch the magic unfold. You can watch the whole clip to see a guy’s reaction to making a putt, which is classic.

  9. There isn’t much better than seeing denim on the golf course.

    Could boo weekley be the first PGA pro to play a tourney in jeans? I would think he would be the odds on fav to do so…

  10. This would be a hell of a look.

    Perhaps the PGA should enact casual Fridays and the guys could wear shorts, t-shirts, jargos, whatever they wanted.

    i think that would be pretty amazing.

  11. first, congrats on the win, again last night! go f-bombs.

    um, so intending not to create much drama here, but q remembered – during a run this morning when most important data surfaces into q consciousness – that 3-Putt was a dog at one point: high school?

    i know 3-Putt tries to erase much of this period in life, but for a blogger who was Most Conscientious in Gym Class – c’mon, prime of her years.

    SO, remember your featured adult film name – Gross Dog Schliggity Schlog? If you don’t, I do. Its existence is non-debatable. Think Gross Dog starred in a few feature films with Nate Dog.

    Just bringing memories and your dog past to life.

    Q, aka – Taffy Delmar

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