Entourage Still An Awful Show, Bizzaro Cliff Lee & More.

Bizzaro Jerry is now Married to Kelly Kapowski on USA.

Count me among those who thought Ross Gload was going to hit a towering 2-run, game-winning home run this afternoon. My unwavering support of G-Load can get me in some trouble, but you can’t win them all I suppose, even if it feels that way against the Padres.  Cliff Lee put the Phillies in a 5-1 hole and they couldn’t quite make it all the way back, and lost for the first time to San Diego this season.  I guess any time you have a chance to win a game where Drew Carpenter throws the 5th and 6th innings you should be happy, but Lee’s bad starts continue to be too pedestrian for my liking.  There’s no way I’m starting him before game 3 of a playoff series, I don’t care what he did in 2009.  Take a suck of that, Lee fanboys.

The newest concern I’ve heard from Phillies fans, now that the team is scoring a few runs here and there and the Braves have been pushed back to arm’s length, is that the team isn’t good enough to win the World Series.  They’ll coast into the playoffs, have a decent shot at winning the National League, but waiting in the World Series will be an offensive juggernaut.  I think much of this concern stems from Boston’s recent run of torrid offense.  The belief is that the Red Sox, the Yankees, or the Rangers will simply be too strong offensively to hold down.  The Phillies will have to win a couple of games 7-5, 8-6 to achieve the ultimate goal.

To this I say, they better not have to do that.  If that’s the case, then this entire team has been constructed on a faulty premise.  Not only that, but there isn’t a hitter out there that will suddenly turn the Phillies into mashers.  An addition may marginally help the offense, but it’s very unlikely that a new bat will carry the Phillies all the way.  This team has been constructed to out-pitch the opposition.  So, get in bed with it.  And, get some perspective, too.  The Rangers hit .272 last year.  They were 4th in the league in runs scored.  In the World Series they scored 12 runs in 5 games and 7 of those came in game 1.  In their last three losses they scored once, total.

Pitching wins these things.  It’s time to put the focus on the pitchers.  We’re worried about putting too much pressure on them, but that’s what they’re being paid to handle.  That’s Ruben’s plan.  So, they’re going to have to suck it up and out-pitch the other teams when the playoffs come around.  You can’t change the entire philosophy of a team with one deadline deal.  The pitchers will have to pitch and that means Roy Halladay can’t give up 2 homers to a journeyman.  And, Cliff Lee can’t have a bizzaro Cliff Lee start.  That’s the bottom line.  Pence or no Pence.

***

So, I just watched the first episode from the final year of Entourage.  You know a show is terrible when you can’t remember a single thing that was going on, but they can completely catch you up in the 45-second montage before the episode starts.  You can’t watch a 45-second clip of Breaking Bad and get caught up, but with Entourage that is no problem.  The last season of the show was almost watchable, or at least it was compared to the seasons that came before it, but last night’s debut was a cold reminder that this show forgot the formula.

It’s important in bad TV to stick to your formula if it works.  It’s like how Survivor keeps recycling contestants for their seasons, or how the Real World figured out it can’t use people with actual jobs.  I guess it is harder than we think, because Entourage derailed after a couple of years and never came back.  In this episode there was a girl who flashed Vince and they didn’t show anything.  Is this TNT?  Why did I put this show on?  Certainly not to watch Vince struggle with sobriety. The formula was envy.  Everyone wanted the houses, the cars, the lifestyle, the girls.  Keep it superficial.  Everything else is a failure.

***

I’ve got a pretty serious semantics problem.  I feel that chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream should actually be called chocolate chip ice cream with cookie dough.  I’ve got a little mind-blower for you.  Chocolate chip cookie dough (misnomer) ice cream is wildly overrated.  It’s good, it is ice cream after all, but real cookie dough is so good that it really blinds the public here.  Look at your ice cream.  There is no chocolate actually in your fake dough.  It’s just in the ice cream.  Not appropriate.  And, even the fake dough is a lukewarm interpretation.  Yeah, I’ll eat it, but it’s not even in the ball park of actual cookie dough.  That sh*t has raw eggs in it.  It’s dangerous.  You take your chances, dance with the devil, because it’s worth it.  This stuff in the ice cream is like playing with wooden swords.   I can really survive on 3 ice cream flavors.  Vanilla, chocolate and cookies and cream.

(Happily goes and eats Cookie Dough Ice Cream)

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One thought on “Entourage Still An Awful Show, Bizzaro Cliff Lee & More.

  1. lunch time glory days, revisited with a coworker besty…

    she also asked if i was bothered by her youtube soundtrack of the world series 2008 montage. i said, it may be U2 singing, but i won’t put down honest efforts to support the phils.

    Q

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