Erin Heatherton Exercises…

...Her Right to Pick Winners.

So, it’s week two.  You’ve got to assume that you’re not going to learn anything, trend wise, about the NFL all year.  You’ll definitely think you have something from time to time.  Oh, the Bills offense looks feisty.  Then this week they’ll score 9 points against Oakland.  About the only thing you can do is not overreact to week one.  Or at least take into consideration that we probably saw some flukes last week.   That was my general thought this week.  Don’t overreact and don’t get caught up in the, “Oh, there’s no way this team is starting 0-2,” stuff, because plenty of teams will start 0-2.  Let’s see what everyone else was thinking:

JCK:  Record: 4-1 (Last Week, 4-1)

Ravens (-5.5) over Tennessee.  My brother-in-law is in town visiting from TN, and he was saying just last night how bad the Titans are.  I live in Boston, so I’ll take his word for it.

Tampa Bay +3 over McNabb’s Love Handles.  I know it would be almost impossible for Don to replicate last week’s performance, but still the Vikings stink.

San Diego +7 over New England.  I like the Patriots in their home opener, but not by 7.  I think this comes down to a last minute drive and FG.

Denver (-3) over Cincy.  This is my stinker of the week.  Broncos win, 5-0.

Texans (-2.5) over Miami.  I know everyone in Miami is catching Air Henne Fever, but the Dolphins are not very good. They cannot run the football, and they won’t score 40 points, but the Texans will, 42-17.

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Grossy: Record 3-2 (Last Week, 3-2)

New England (-7) over San Diego.  I think the Pats are going to be in a high-scoring mentality all year, because they know their defense is going to give up a few points.  I think the slow, pulling away blowout like you saw last week could be their signature this year.  They’ll want to give the home crowd a nice show.  Not a desperate spot for SD either, who didn’t look great last week.  1/2 spite pick, 1/2 trust in Gronk.  (Spite picks 1-0 this year).

Green Bay (-10) over Carolina.  I just got a breaking news bulletin from Charlotte.  Jordy Nelson is wide open.  The Panthers are going to get torched here.  It’s going to be like a caged lion playing with a beach ball.  Carolina’s signature performance of the year could have come last week in a loss.  They’ll lose again, but in much more forgettable fashion. D.A. may get mop-up snaps.

Pittsburgh (-14) over Seattle.  This early in the year I see a line this big and I think, it’s probably not big enough.  Fourteen seems like a lot until you play word association with this game and say, “31-7.”  I defy you to come up with a final score that has Seattle within two touchdowns.  Can’t do it.  It’s amazing the amount of poison I’ve dumped on the Steelers this week, but they can handle it.  And, if they don’t?  F-‘em, it’s the Steelers.

Colts (+2.5) over Cleveland.  How many times in the last five years have you been able to get points at home with the Colts?  They were a new, mutated form of putrid last week, but I think it was a nice slap in the face for them.  Peyton’s gone. Put the crying towels away, and get back to work.  Also, the Browns are not a good team.  How you lose to the Bengals one week and are favorites the next, I’ll never know.

Tennessee (+6.5) over Baltimore.  People like to talk about the momentum of a season.  There’s always games that stand out as bad spots for teams.  Later this year, you’ll hear about how the Eagles are going to lose in Seattle, just because the game is on a short week and the Eagles are coming across the country.  It doesn’t matter if the Seahawks are still winless at that point, people will like them outright.  Here we’ve got the Ravens coming off an emotional high, the Titans are at home, Chris Johnson is promising a better effort, it’s a nice spot for Tennessee.  They may not win, but I think they keep it close.

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Big Dub H: Record 3-2 (Last Week, 3-2)

Baltimore -6 vs. Tennessee: Hasselbeck blows and the Baltimore defense looks good. Simple enough.

San Diego +7 vs. New England: I don’t know if the Pats defense can stop this offense enough to get the cover.

Dallas -3 vs. San Francisco: The NFC West sucks.

Pittsburgh -14 vs. Seattle: The NFC West really, really sucks.

Atlanta +2.5 vs. Philadelphia: The wrong team is favored.

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Kraft: Record 2-2-1.  (Last Week, 2-2-1)

  1. Washington (-3.5) over Arizona
  2. Tampa Bay (+3) over Minnesota
  3. Buffalo (-3) over Oakland
  4. Baltimore (-6.5) over Tennessee
  5. Chicago (+6.5) over New Orleans

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NICHOLS: Record 1-2-2 (Last Week, 1-2-2)

Chicago (+6.5) v. New Orleans: The Bears are stronger than everyone
thought.  Their weak spot is the O-Line but the Saints pass rush is
weaker, especially with Will Smith out.  Brees will come out with a
win but Chicago will hold their own.  Saints by 6.

Green Bay (-10) @ Carolina: Cam Newton meets a real NFL defense and
gets brought back down to earth, literally and figuratively.  Packers
D delivers a win to my fantasy team with 2 INTs and one pick 6.
Rodgers repeats his Week 1 performance and the Pack win by 14.

Cleveland (+1.5) @ Indy: Indy’s offense isn’t good enough to beat KC,
and their D being depleted will not help when they go up against the
Brown’s mammoth O-Line and Peyton Hillis.  Cleveland racks up some
serious rushing yards and wins by 6.

Baltimore (-7) @ Tennessee: Titans D gave up 97 to MJD.  Ray Rice
shits bigger than MJD.  Ray Rice by 10.

St. Louis (+6.5) @ New York:  Must win for the Giants, and they’ll
pull it off, but I just can’t see them figuring out how to win by more
than 6.  I’m taking the stronger of two teams for the win but not the
spread.  Giants win 21-17

Ok, that’s all we’ve got for now.  I guess everyone else is waiting for the Sportsguy’s picks to go up so they can take copious notes.  I’m sure they’ll appear sometime before Sunday.

Reminder to the D.A. people as always to send your lists in, everyone enjoy basking in the fall temperatures, and hopefully we can figure out that Jaime Garcia tonight and the Phillies can get a step closer to clinching, or pull the whole dang thing off.  I’m sure by Sunday, we’ll poppin’ bottles.  Mumms all around.