So, I’ve got another problem. Yeah, hard to believe. On the day we learn the Las Vegas UFL team will be named The Locomotives (worst name ever?), it’s hard to believe that something is bothering me, but it is. I don’t know who is at fault either, and that’s even more troubling. I don’t know where to direct my ferocity, but someone needs a reprimand, and it’s whoever is naming these streets and developments.
Now, I grew up on a street called Rabbit Run. And, as corny and faux-quaint as that may sound, at least you would occasionally see a rabbit. It wasn’t called Grazing Giraffe Ave. This leads me into my point. Today I passed a road called Cape Cod Avenue. The people that live on this street know they don’t actually live on Cape Cod, right? And, they know that Cape Cod is an actual place? This street is practically closer to Cape Horn than Cape Cod. I’d feel like an idiot. Yeah, I’m over there on Cape Cod Ave. Unless you’re talking to some mullet that’s lives on Martha’s Vineyard Way…you’re basically going to sound like a stooge.
The same things apply to developments. I have two major problems. First, what the hell is a Toftree? I’ve seen Toftwoods. What does this mean? Tof? Toft? I’m baffled. It drives me crazy. Secondly, if you live in some golf course development, don’t name the place after a course that is already famous. If you live in St. Andrews Woods, at the corner of Augusta and Pinehurst Lanes…then you’re an idiot. You probably paid too much for your house, and can get lost in your own development because every place looks the same.
Let me shed some light. There’s actually a St. Andrews. It’s in Scotland. You think they’re over there in Scotland building developments called White Tail Deer Crossing Farms Plantation at the Ridge? I don’t think so. They might know what the bleep a Toftree is, though.
I know that there are too many streets, too many developments, and maybe that is the problem. We ran out of good names in like 1785. But, that still doesn’t change the fact that I’d like to know who is responsible for this nonsense. Is it the developers? Some type of planning committee? We need to get some more creative people at the helm here. I can bring it all back to White Men Can’t Jump. Sidney Dean lives at the Vista View apartments, and to quote him, “There ain’t no Vista. There ain’t no View. And there sure as hell ain’t no Vista of no damn View.”