Pass the Turducken, Please.
All right, we have the majority of the NFL Picks in, and I know that this week is going to fizzle out here in a major way, so we might as well put them up. As luck would have it, some of the distinguished handicappers are going to try to take the week by the neck, and get off to a good start tomorrow…I’ll let Big Dub start since he was bitter that no one gave him credit for predicting the Jets collapse.
BIG DUB H: Record, 24-26 (Last Week 3-2).
There aint no rest for the wicked and money don’t grow on trees. I got bills to pay and mouths to feed. There aint nothing in this world for free.
Detroit (+10.5) vs. Green Bay
Last year the Titans were laying 11 in this spot. They covered with ease, but I don’t see how this Packers team can lay that many points. Oh and fade the public. Green Bay 30, Detroit 24
St. Louis (+3) vs. Seattle
The Seahawks stink on the road and the public is in love with them. Simple enough. Double fade.
St. Louis 27, Seattle 23
Buffalo (+3) vs. Miami
The Dolphins won by 28 at home against the Bills earlier this year and now they are noly laying 3? I hope Kraft doesn’t step into this trap. Buffalo 20, Miami 16
Cincinatti (-14) vs. Cleveland
People, wake up. The Browns looked good against the Lions. I know the Bengals laid an egg, but they were coming off an emotional win against the Steelers and then had to go out to the West Coast. Is Mangini still coaching? Is the public backing the Browns? Good. Cincinatti 36, Celveland 13
Denver (+6.5) vs. New York Giants
The G-men have Dallas on deck and this game could not come at a worse time. The public is in love with the Giants who escaped with a win against a Falcons team that has won like 2 or 3 road games in their last 12 tries. It’s something like that. If you want the stat look it up. I just give out winners not stats. Denver 20, New York 13
JCK: Record, 3-2 (Last Week 3-2)
Green Bay (-10.5) @ Detroit – What a thriller last week. Stafford becomes the hometown hero in an emotional win over the scrappy Browns. However, without a ridiculous PI by Hank Poteat and an ingenious timeout by Mangenious (which would have forced Duante Culpepper to take the final snap) – the Lions would have taken an L. Three days rest + a Doubtful Stafford = Packers rout 28-7.
Philadelphia (-9) vs. The Hogs – No Portis, No Betts. No chance. Don puts it up 77 times and DeSean runs naked all day. Eagles 33, Skins 9.
Seattle (-3) @ St. Louis – Another injury. Marc Bulger is sidelined for up to 6 weeks with a broken leg. His backup? Kyle Boller, who’s mojo should be drained by his new sweetie pie, future porn star Carrie Prejean. Seattle 27, St. Louis 3.
Atlanta (-12) vs. Tampa Bay – Matty Ice has thrown in a number of consecutive stinkers. I don’t see it happening again. Atlanta’s offense is too good and Tampa Bay stinks. Freeman throws three picks and the Falcons roll 30-13.
Baltimore (pick ’em) vs. Pittsburgh – Pittsburgh lost to Kansas City. Roethlisberger is dinged up and with all the issues surrounding NFL players getting concussed, I just don’t seeing him getting cleared to play. What a PR nightmare. The backup is Charlie Batch…..who is also hurt. This means unless Tomzcak is walking through the door Oregon’s Dennis Dixon will get his first career start. Dixon’s Career line you ask? 1/1 for 3 yrds. Baltimore 24, Pittsburgh 13.
GROSSY: Record, 31-21-3 (Last Week, 4-0-1)
You know I wanted to pick a Thursday game, but there’s too many contradicting flags. It’s Culpepper against the “We Never Cover” Packers. It’s Dallas laying more points than they’ve scored the last two weeks. And, it’s Denver (a dead stick) hosting a team coming across the country on short rest. It’s just too damn hard. That being said, I feel like I am jumping the gun on Sunday lines, but here we go anyway…
Colts (-3.5) @ Texans. Here’s the deal. The Texans already played the Colts tough. That was their one chance. This team is a mess with a mess of a kicker. Colts keep the 16-0 talk alive, 31-21.
Browns (+14) @ Cincinatti. How many times do I have to tell you people that teams with offenses like the Bengals shouldn’t be laying this many points? Who played QB for the Raiders last week? Mike Gminski? And he won? I hate to disagree with Big Dub, but I don’t see public money shifting to Cleveland…Bengals 23-16.
Panthers (+3) @ New York Jets. Show me someone who is laying points with the Jets these days, and I’ll show you an idiot. Maybe you can make the same case for betting Delhomme, but he’s got the Sanchise in position to out pick-6 him. Carolina, 23-20.
Vikings (-10.5) vs. Bears. Time to put my money where my mouth is. A big part of my gut feels like the Vikings are the best team in the NFC, if not the whole league. The rest of my guy knows Jay Cutler stinks, and Favre will be dancing around like a moron. Vikings, 34-17.
New Orleans (-3) vs. New England. It strikes me as odd that everyone assumes the Patriots are going to win this game. I admit it was my first feeling as well, but then I thought will they be able to stop the Saints? They didn’t stop the Colts, and I think NO’s defense does a little better job of keeping the Pats in check than Indy did. HUGE game down in New Orleans. Just epic, fans push ’em over the top. Saints 38-31.
Kraft: Record 18-37 (Last week, 2-3)
I hate to jinx it, but i am en fuego. Not many people can say they doubled their win total from the previous week, but I did. Tom Brady said that Bellichick always say the season starts after Thanksgiving, so i am rounding into form at the right time. The moons are aligning, as the Steven Segal, Lawman TV show debuts this week on Wednesday—I’m taking you clowns to the bank, the blood bank…
Philly -9 over Wash
Fresh off a 6 pt outburst, the skins come to the Linc.
Baltimore pick over Pittsburgh
No Polamalu, Big Ben’s bell is rung, their backup is Dennis Dixon? I’ll take the Ravens in a physical game with something to prove. Mike Tomlin does have the best groomed haircut/chinstrap beard in the league, but that isn’t enough to take the defending champs. I look forward to them not making the playoffs and Big Ben picking out the next lucky girl to have a shady encounter with in the offseason.
Minnesota -10.5 over Chicago
The Vikings are hot. Chicago is not. This is the game Cutler has been looking forward to all year long—he can finally show Brett Favre that he deserves the title of “most careless with the football” in person, taking that mantle away from the all-time leader. Chicago runs the ball for like an avg of 3 ft per carry, they have an atrocious Defense—-will the Viking starters need to play in the 4th quarter?
Jacksonville +3 over San Fran
I’ll be honest, I was going to pick the Miami game, but Big Dub H’s warning resonates loudly. So i will do my best to find another poor game where I will make an idiotic pick. Cue the Jaguars. The last time they went west they lost 41-0 to Seattle, but they seem to be peaking and are about to sneak into the playoffs with another Pittsburgh loss. The 49ers are incredibly close to a highlight reel Mike Singletary post game blow-up, and I for one can’t wait for the fireworks…”can’t win with him, can’t coach with him, can’t play with him…”
GB -10.5 over Detroit
I have to pick a Thanksgiving day game, and this one to me stands out. Stafford is out with a separated shoulder, and they come back to earth. GB is playing good football and they light up the Lions D, which make Brady Quinn look like Peyton Manning. When will the NFL remove Detroit from the Turkey Day lineup? WIll someone punch Goodell in the stomach, you have the Raiders & the Lions playing on Thanksgiving.