Diora Baird: Ballstriker; Handicapper.

 

The New Lacy Underall?

 

Forty-five regular season picks in the books, and just forty to go.  So, unfortunately none of us are going to finish the year 50 games over .500 and star in a movie called Coverville with Don Cheadle.  I don’t know what the other gentlemen would say, but this week was a tough one for me.  After about a month of seeing games that looked attractive to me for one reason or another, I scanned these games time and again.  If I had any track record, that’d be worrisome, but since it is all luck, we’ll just go right to the picks as usual…

Nichols: Record, 24-20-1

Buffalo (-2.5)…Stars have aligned.  Stafford is out and Harvard can throw.  Still, I can’t believe I’m picking them for more than a cover, but this is their best shot this season.  They know it, fans know it, and Vegas knows it.  Bills by 3.

Chicago (+1.5)…I’ve always liked Chicage at home, and this is another “nail in the coach’s coffin” game.  The Vikings are falling apart and I don’t think they can pull this one off.

Indy (-7.5)…T.O. said last week that they needed a win over the Steelers or the season was all but done.  Well, adios.  They are playing with a lost season mentality and Peyton will eat it up.  Indy by at least 10.

Bucs (-7.5)…I don’t like this pick but the Bucs are another solid home team, and Carolina is really, really bad.  This is a good game for the best team in the league to hold on to their 6-way tie for second place.

Giants (-13.5)…I had to.  Didn’t want to.  Even with abortion that is the Dallas team they still give us issues every year.  However, the Giants are at home, the D is playing well, and Kitna is atrocious.  Perhaps my first DA pick.  This spread is huge and goes against one of my non-theories but I have to run with it.  NY by 17.

***

Grossy: Record, 22-19-4

St. Louis (+6) @ San Francisco.

Just another NFC West stinkfest.  So, one good quarter in London and we’re loading up on the Niners?  I feel a little left out in terms of the Rams.  There have been some good covers with this squad, and I haven’t really touched them all year.  Plus, 100% of the readers of this blog love coach Spagnuolo.  The Niners can’t cover this big a line against a team that has heart, and the Rams will give you a fight.

Cincinnati (+7.5) @ Indy.

The Colts aren’t even close to being healthy.  There comes a point when that makes a difference, even if Peyton Manning is your quarterback.  The Bengals are terrible, but this team was made to score meaningless touchdowns.  If you want to cover 7.5 against the Bengals you better be up 17-20 in the 4th quarter. Also, when you look up “special connection” in the Fantasy Football dictionary, you see a picture of T.O and Carson Palmer.

Tennessee (-2) @ Miami.

Don’t think you can bench the human Jugs machine, Chad Henne, and expect to escape my wrath.  Did I know that Chad Pennington was still the backup quarterback of the Dolphins?  I guess, I did, or maybe I assumed, like I assume his shoulder is still attached by a single thread, but this is a surprising development nonetheless.  Dolphins got their spirit taken away last week, Run Randy, Cop Speed and company finish the funeral service for the Dolphins season.

Minnesota (-1) @ Chicago.

Pound those road teams.  If the Vikings had finished the buckle job last week this line would different and I could stay away, but they went ahead and pulled one out against those ’09 NFC Champs.  Which win was less impressive, that one or the Bears miracle cover against the 0-8 Bills?  The Vikings should be better than the Bears, so I have to pick them.  It’s like when you haven’t hit a ball solid all day, but you still take the right club “just in case?”  I’m picking the Vikings, just in case they show up.

Philly (-3) @ Washington.

Words that describe Michael Vick: Fast, Shifty, Range-y, Laser Beam.

Words that describe Donovan McNabb: Confused, Hilarious, Benched, Short-Hop.

No way the Eagles get swept by this Redskins team. Can’t happen.  Won’t happen.

***

JCK: Record, 22-21-2

Titans (-2) @ Miami – How old is Chad Pennington?

Indy (-7) vs. Cincy

St. Louis (+5.5) @ SF

Tampa (-7) vs Carolia

Jets (-3) @ Cleveland

***

KRAFT: Record, 25-19-1

St. Louis +6 over SF- Last time I checked, this game isn’t in Great Britain. Until Troy Smith wins in the continental US, i will take the pts. By the way, the Rams are playing good defense and Bradford is playing some great rookie QB- look at the trash he is throwing to. They could really use Henry Ellard.

Tenn -2 over Miami- unless Chad Pennington received an arm transplant that I didn’t know about, i see a game of 4 yd pass attempts…Can someone explain how Ronnie Brown was the 2nd overall pick?

Philly -3 over Wash- Eagles are playing well, Skins are going to be in crisis mode soon. That is, if trotting out Rex Grossman 2 wks ago didn’t signal crisis mode yet…

TB -7 over Carolina- Carolina stinks. AND, they are playing without: Matt Moore, Jon Stewart, & Deangelo Williams. My advice: punt on 3rd down. Freeman has surpassed Steve DeBerg, with this W watch out Shaun King.

NE +4.5 over Pitt- Bellichick doesn’t lose 2 in a row. NE always plays Pittsburgh tough (seemingly even more so when Pitt is decidedly the better team). Brady’s hair vs. Polamalu’s hair….Pats resign Troy Brown, he returns 2 punts for TDs, Bill Cowher breaks down on the sidelines…sorry, i was reminiscing…i’ll take the P-A-T-S…

***

BIG DUB H: Record, 22-20-4

Dallas +13.5 @ N.Y. Giants
This is how I look at it: The Lions got 11 points and covered against the Giants earlier in the year. I honestly believe the Cowboys have more talent than the Lions, so I feel there is some value here. I know Romo is out, but the Cowboys benefit from Wade Phillips being out. This game was probably a 3-point spread back in Week 1 and now I am getting 11 more points? Way too many points to pass up here and I would not be surprised if the Cowboys won this thing outright.

Indianapolis +7 vs. Cincinnati
The Colts need to win this game since it appears the Titans should find a way to beat Pennington and the Dolphins. I know the Titans are the slimest of favorites, but the Colts have to think they will need to keep pace. Off a poor performance I expect Pey-pey to bounce back.

Buffalo Bills -3 vs. Detroit
Defeated team laying points…gotta stick with it.

Jacksonville -1.5 vs. Houston
Texans are to heart as McNabb is to cardiovascular endurance.

Chicago Bears +1 vs. Minnesota
It’s one thing to hear about players quietly talking about how they don’t like the coach. It is another thing to read quotes about it. I usually think talent can overcome anything. Well this is exception to the rule.

 

–Also, a reminder for DA Fantasy people…no one took Ryan or Flacco last night, not that that is any surprise.  But, please, try to get those DA lists to me by Sunday morning.  It’s much appreciated.  It’s Chad Pennington’s debut week, let’s get in the mix.

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15 thoughts on “Diora Baird: Ballstriker; Handicapper.

  1. Nichols, when the giants get lit up by Kitna and Dez Bryant, i want a formal written apology delivered certified mail.

    Also:

  2. My picks:

    St. Louis +6 over SF- Last time I checked, this game isn’t in Great Britain. Until Troy Smith wins in the continental US, i will take the pts. By the way, the Rams are playing good defense and Bradford is playing some great rookie QB- look at the trash he is throwing to. They could really use Henry Ellard.

    Tenn -2 over Miami- unless Chad Pennington received an arm transplant that I didn’t know about, i see a game of 4 yd pass attempts…Can someone explain how Ronnie Brown was the 2nd overall pick?

    Philly -3 over Wash- Eagles are playing well, Skins are going to be in crisis mode soon. That is, if trotting out Rex Grossman 2 wks ago didn’t signal crisis mode yet…

    TB -7 over Carolina- Carolina stinks. AND, they are playing without: Matt Moore, Jon Stewart, & Deangelo Williams. My advice: punt on 3rd down. Freeman has surpassed Steve DeBerg, with this W watch out Shaun King.

    NE +4.5 over Pitt- Bellichick doesn’t lose 2 in a row. NE always plays Pittsburgh tough (seemingly even more so when Pitt is decidedly the better team). Brady’s hair vs. Polamalu’s hair….Pats resign Troy Brown, he returns 2 punts for TDs, Bill Cowher breaks down on the sidelines…sorry, i was reminiscing…i’ll take the P-A-T-S…

  3. And here ya go:

    Dallas +13.5 @ N.Y. Giants
    This is how I look at it: The Lions got 11 points and covered against the Giants earlier in the year. I honestly believe the Cowboys have more talent than the Lions, so I feel there is some value here.
    I know Romo is out, but the Cowboys benefit from Wade Phillips being out.
    This game was probably a 3-point spread back in Week 1 and now I am getting 11 more points? Way too many points to pass up here and I would not be surprised if the Cowboys won this thing outright.

    Indianapolis +7 vs. Cincinnati
    The Colts need to win this game since it appears the Titans should find a way to beat Pennington and the Dolphins. I know the Titans are the slimest of favorites, but the Colts have to think they will need to keep pace. Off a poor performance I expect Pey-pey to bounce back.

    Buffalo Bills -3 vs. Detroit
    Defeated team laying points…gotta stick with it.

    Jacksonville -1.5 vs. Houston
    Texans are to heart as McNabb is to cardiovascular endurance.

    Chicago Bears +1 vs. Minnesota
    It’s one thing to hear about players quietly talking about how they don’t like the coach. It is another thing to read quotes about it.
    I usually think talent can overcome anything. Well this is exception to the rule.

  4. It didn’t occur to me until just now that Shaun King and Shaun Hill are two different people. I had combined them in my head somehow into one bad quarterback.

  5. i’d probably have a comment about how long shaun king’s been out of the league, but then again Todd Collins did play this year.

    • I even saw Shaun Hill on the sideline earlier this year and, instead of it ringing a bell that he is white and Shaun King is black, I just thought I had been mistaken all this time.

  6. Something to think about (inspired by Shaun king): grossy, can you cone up with a list of a top 5 or 10 regular starting QBs of the last 10 yrs who you wish you could have taken for the DA? Guys like maybe Jake Plummer could have been solid…maybe Cade Mcnown

  7. Tough question, probably would take some research to do properly, but off the top of head:

    JaMarcus, Joey Harrington, David Carr, I’d probably put mcnown on there, couch,fiedler,boller,chuck frye,and of course DA.

  8. Almost forgot about this..ALMOST

    the public likes,

    Houston, Tampa, Philly, New York Jets and Tennessee.

    Looks like we had a lot of guys toeing the old public line this week.

  9. I’d like to be able to say that I came back on 3Putt for the 3rd time this AM to see if any comments had been added, updated, etc… but I’d be lying. I really just need to take another look at Diora Baird. She found a special place in my heart with her award winning performance in Wedding Crashers and her golf attire is just icing on the cake. Thanks for another glorious pic Gross. Def. the new Lacy Underall.

  10. Haha…

    Well, of course you are very welcome.

    Better development on the blog this football season, DA football or the women of the picks…

    No one answer that question.

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