Oh, This Is Going to be Close!

Which one is JCK?

Look at the leg extension on the horse in the foreground.  Kind of scary.  And, you think pitcher’s arms bend at odd angles.  Well, we can save that debate for another day.  Right now we have to discuss what is happening in the NFL Pick ‘Em race.  It is, quite simply, too close to call.  We have another new leader as JCK took advantage of an off week by Kraft to pull just percentage points ahead.  The whole pack is separated by a measly 3 wins.  Words aren’t doing this justice, so let’s go to the standings:

NFL Pick ‘Em Standings:

  1. JCK:           32-26-2 (This week: 3-2)
  2. Kraft:         32-27-1 (This week: 1-4)
  3. Nichols:   32-27-1 (This week: 4-1)
  4. Grossy:    29-27-4 (This week: 2-3)
  5. Big Dub:   29-28-4 (This week: 1-4)

The “I am Serious, and don’t call me Shirley,” Pick of the Week:

Well, let’s see here.  Kraft and Big Dub are out.  I could use a pick me up, but didn’t do anything worthwhile.  JCK took the lead and continues to have the pulse of his home team down, but I am going to award it this week based on a fine piece of analysis.  If you can recall back to Nichols’ selections, on his way to going 4-1 (a praise worthy feat) Nichols offered the following regarding the KC/SEA game.  “No clue.  Just feels right.”  And, really, what else is there to say?  If stuff like that isn’t the reason you are coming here, then frankly, perhaps you need to find a new place to waste a few minutes a day.

The “Didn’t You Realize they are Still the Lions,” Awful Pick of the Week:

So, was I a homer?  Did Josh Freeman get his revenge on me with that terrible back door cover?  I suppose so, but this was actually requested by Big Dub on Friday, and I like to give my readers what they want.  Dub was feeling the Lions.  Feeling them almost to the point of liking them outright, and things started pretty well.  Then history, inevitability, whatever it was took over.  Detroit got their doors blown off and didn’t sniff a cover, let alone the win.  Detroit’s history of losing on Thanksgiving is so ingrained in the fabric of Americana, I really don’t see where else I can go here.

The Public are Morons Theory: Record, 6-14.

The public rebounded with a couple nice stink bombs this week (Philly and Pittsburgh), but on the whole they salvaged a 2-3 week, and you’d still be getting killed for the last month if you bet against them.  I still say there’s something here.

DA Standings and Summaries:

  1. The Slop Jocks: 8-4
  2. Team Motorboat: 8-4
  3. BK:  6-6
  4. Neckbeards and Codeine: 6-6
  5. Team Horse Face: 6-6
  6. Kraft: 6-6
  7. Dan: 4-8
  8. Eli Esses D: 3-9

Eli Esses D Loses the “Manning Bowl” 30 to 20.25; Doesn’t Care.

Last week Will tapped into Eli Manning, his namesake, and it ended his season murdering losing streak.  Well, his hopes for the playoffs were still dead, but in week 12 he made the bold play of taking both Manning brothers.  It was Peyton’s debut in DA Football, and what a debut he made.  Two pick-6s, two more interceptions and a terrible loss.  Of course Peyton piled up some yards and completions too, so all that fire power was only worth 24.25 points.  Still, it was probably the draft pick of the year.  Eli ended up killing Dub with (-4 points) and he lost to the combination of David Garrard and Brett Favre.

Team Horse Face gets Must-Win, Knocks off 1st Place Slop Jocks 52.25 to 11.75

Team Horse Face really had their back to the wall here, sitting at 5-6 and facing the 1st place team who also happened to have the #1 pick.  In some ways it came down to Rusty Smith in the 2-hole (35 points) out-playing #1 pick Jimmy Clausen (22 points), but the wide margin of victory was achieved thanks to the 15/16 slots.  DC made a pretty nice waiver claim of Shaun Hill for Thursday’s action and his 17.25 put Tim in an early hole.  Trying to make up that difference was Chad Henne, but Miami didn’t cooperate at all, and Henne laid an egg with (-10.25) points.  The Slop Jocks are still positioned nicely for the playoffs, but it was Horse Face’s day.

Team Motorboat cruises back into 1st Place Tie with win over Neckbeards and Codeine.

This was a game that was all but decided on Thursday.  Sitting in the 8/9 slot Nichols was in pretty good Thursday waiver position.  He likely would have had his pick of the 2nd round options and he decided on Carson Palmer.  He made the right choice.  Palmer was terrible as the Bengals season continues to crash and burn.  He threw up a massive 41 points, and the Thanksgiving deficit passed 50 with Neckbeards’ taking Kitna and his (-9.75) points.  On Sunday, Brian was relying on Jake Delhomme for the comeback, but possibly inspired by playing his old team, Delhomme only managed 14 points.  The result sets up Motorboat nicely for the playoffs rounds and pushes Neckbeards to the brink.

DA Comes up Big Again, Leads Kraft to a 54 to 40.25 win over BK.

This game came down to Monday night.  One of the worst prime time football match-ups in recent memory provided a nice little DA showdown.  It shouldn’t come as any surprise that on a national stage it was Mr. Anderson himself who stepped into the spotlight.  DA put up a tidy 36 points in Arizona’s loss, and combined with the strong finish from Donovan McNabb (18 points) it was enough to put Kraft over the top and stay in playoff contention.  BK missed an opportunity to move into a tie for first when Troy Smith (14 points) couldn’t match our namesake’s heroics.

The 3PT DA of the Week:

I alluded to this in the comments section Sunday night.  It was certainly a tough call.  I’ve been very firm with my two pick-6s equal a DA rule.  I think it’s fitting, but at the same time it seems to be happening a good bit.  Is it not as hard to pull off as we originally thought?  And what of Rusty Smith’s 35 points against the worst pass defense in modern times? Was that not DA worthy?  It probably was, but in the end, there’s no way to avoid giving this award to Pey-Pey.  He was dreadful, and you can argue that it wasn’t his fault, but that is part of the point.  For years and years we heard about Manning’s value, how he was practically doing it by himself out there.  Well, looks like he can’t do it by himself.  Seven interceptions in 2 games?  Oh my.  Congratulations Peyton, you beat Eli in something else this year.

6 thoughts on “Oh, This Is Going to be Close!

  1. It’s not often i take a loss lightly or in stride, but losing to DA on MNF in an epic battle between him and Troy “Heisman Trophy Bust Proof” Smith just seems right. I’m glad DA could pull it out and put his stamp on this season.

  2. As much as I am enjoying another season of Derek Anderson, I have to ask: would Matt Leinart really have been this bad? Can we agree that Whisenhunt or whoever is the Cardinals coach really badly mishandled the QB situation here?

  3. Would Matt Leinart have been this bad? Maybe?

    but, anyone who overestimates the skills of derek anderson probably needs to be reevaluated as an nfl head coach.

    it’s not like the Browns are a QB factory.

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