The Look At Me Stickers.

My Mom Pimps an Ack?

I don’t think I’m really breaking new ground here, but I loathe the 3-letter bumper sticker/decals like the one above.  I don’t remember the first one I saw.  I guess it depends on where you live.  Which is the trendiest beach destination near you?  Nantucket?   One I see all the time is LBI.  Now, Snoop taught me about the LBC, but LBI, I couldn’t care less about.  I’m sure it’s a dream, but if you are driving in front of me, I don’t need to know.  Back when these stickers were almost solely on the back of giant SUVs I guess they weren’t that bad, but now they’re everywhere.

You know how things go, when the public figures out what the fancy people like, it eventually trickles down.  I think that was a Freakonomics theory.  So, while these stickers may not even be popular anymore in their places of origin, they’ve become inescapable and have come to stand for any number of things.  My personal favorite that I see on occasion is MMA.  My first thought was obviously mixed martial arts, but no, it stands for Merion Mercy Acadamy.  An all girls private school.  So, don’t be fooled, that lady ahead of you in the mommed-out Navigator is no Anderson Silva fan.

I think, in general, you shouldn’t seek accolades for yourself through the public sticker.  It shouldn’t be, look at where I vacation!  The same goes for the “26.2” stickers that marathoners have on their cars, or anything of that ilk.  You know, if you want to keep some artifact from your marathon in the privacy of your own home, that’s great.  You need positive reinforcement.  I, for example, put the stickers from my apples on the door to my fridge.  There’s probably over 100 apple stickers on there right now.  It’s something I can look at on occasion and say, look at yourself eating fruit.  You are the apple’s greatest natural predator.  Way to not eat an entire block of cheese when you were hungry that time. But, this is on my fridge, in my own kitchen.  I don’t have a bumper sticker with the fruit of the loom logo on it or something advertising my occasionally healthy snacking habits.

But, so many people can’t resist making their sticker issue public.  I mean, this is why Facebook exists.  People love to talk about themselves and then receive positive reinforcement.  That like button is a powerful thing.  I’ve never clicked the “like” button, because really, I don’t want to perpetuate the habit.  The only exception I would make for the stickers is if you are touting someone else.  If your kid got into an Ivy League school, or they got into some school that was really impressive (for them), you know go ahead and throw up the sticker.  It’s probably impossible for a parent not to do that, but the personal stickers have to go.  I mean, what’s next?  Your salary on a bumper sticker?  Your IQ?

***

I was on some blog or website the other day and I saw someone had commented and their name was “Michael G.”  I immediately felt violated.  Whoa, that’s my name.  I understand that I do not have an uncommon name, or an uncommon last initial, but this was the first time this has happened to me.  I guess when you are registering for an email address and it suggests, “mgross576397,” it should sink in a little bit, but it didn’t for me.  I immediately wanted to know who this other Michael G. person was.  I imagined other people thinking of me when they saw this person’s stupid comment, and that drove me crazy for a while too.  What a nightmare.

***

Think it would be funny to give someone a gift card for $1?  One of those cards that don’t have the value on them?  It would also be funny to ask the person at the store to load a 50 dollar card with 10 dollars, but I’m not sure they would do that.  I think it would be funny on two levels.  First, the person who sells it to you has to keep a professional appearance while you ask for a $1 gift card.  But, the real fun starts when the person cashes it in.  I guess it would have to be for a store that was pretty affordable.  Maybe Wawa.  You go too fancy on the store and the recipient of the gift will get greedy and look up the value before hand.  No, I’m thinking Wawa, or something like that the person is automatically going to assume it’s in the 10-25 dollar range.  That feels like Wawa standard to me.  So, they go in, snag a hoagie or whatever, it comes to $6.58.  Well, the card has to be worth at least that much.  Wrong!  They still owe $5.58. Then they have the internal debate about whether to get into an argument about it, or come to the realization that you gave them a $1 gift card.  Pretty amazing sequence if you ask me.  Everyone watch out next Christmas.

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21 thoughts on “The Look At Me Stickers.

  1. Lindsay has a OBX sticker on her SUV and I hate her for it. But the worst is the silhouette sticker of an English Springer Spaniel.

    It’s not that I don’t love my dog, because I do. It sucks when I get stuck with her car and I have good old Wes (our English Springer Spaniel) riding shotty.

    I would love to know what people think of me when they see the sticker on the back and then the real thing as my co-pilot.

  2. I do hate those stickers, but the OBX/LBI ones are tolerable because you know what they are. Trying to figure them out brings out the hate in me.

    A $1 gift card is somewhat the equivalent of a $25 wedding gift for a family of four, which my wife’s uncle gave us. We pay $400 for you and your family to eat dinner and drink all night, you give us $25. Thanks bro

    • ouch, yeah, a wedding wouldn’t really be the time for my gift card hilarity.

      I haven’t been married, but I imagine that can be a frustrating process when you go out of pocket so much. Especially if the people are just being cheap and not giving according to what they can afford or what is appropriate.

      I think maybe i’d just want to know the grand total. add it up for me, then I wouldn’t be frustrated with individual gifts.

  3. I resisted the “like” button on FB for a while but found that it was an easier way to chime in on a status without committing to a comment. Now, it doesn’t really work with a negative status update. I posted earlier in the week about my dog passing. If anyone hit like on that I think we’d have an issue.

    • I was sorry to hear about your dog. I saw that update. Very tough times, I’m sure.

      that is a facebook dilemma, though. I’ve actually seen people “like” an update like yours, meaning you had their condolences or whatever, but then they had to almost apologize in an actual comment for liking it.

      i guess there should be a lot of buttons. Like, dislike, i’m sorry, good for you, who cares…

      I don’t see what is stopping them from making it a bit more comprehensive.

      • Both those guys, what both those guys said. I now hate you too Gross.

        You know how many buttons there should be? Zero. B/c that effing monstrosity shouldn’t exist. Way to perpetuate the problem, a-holes.

      • hahaha..

        i use facebook in a completely innocuous way, which is to say, almost not at all.

        I also don’t live in fear of a picture being posted of me that would make me accountable for my own actions…

        so, i guess i can’t fully relate to your stance.

  4. Sorry to hear about your dog, but i blame you for posting on Facebook. What do i blame you for? Just the actual posting on that intolerable, disgusting manifestation of all that is evil within us.

    Bumper Stickers/FB are a good comparison. Not only is it “look at me I go to Nantucket!!!!!!! I’m awesome!!!!” but it’s also telling people about your vacations, just like the incessant posting of pictures on FB. Especially hated? The people that went somewhere once and bought the sticker. So you’ve been there, congrats. We all need to know this? Just like the 8 million pictures of you and your gf at the Giants game? Who the eff cares? Isn’t the point of vacation to get away?

    • I could go into great detail about this BK, especially since you know how much my dog meant to me and I’m not in a good place right now, but be honest with yourself. You hate facebook because you run the risk of a) discovering the multiple children you’ve fathered and b) having the multiple women you date at once meet each other and expose you.

      • Like i said, condolences on the dog. I’m not saying anything relative to that.

        THAT SAID: No, i don’t live in fear of having pictures posted or whatever. I hate the fact that the entire premise of FB is that other people should be inherently obsessed with every action of yours (universal meaning). “Status update: Jim is at the grocery store, why do they sell 8 hot dog and 12 buns?!?!?!” Go fist yourself. Seriously. I wasn’t on MySpace, nor any social media. As egotistical and selfish (sometimes) as i am, i’m well aware no one else cares about what i think day to day nor about my pictures or about my status. Please show me a legitimate referendum for how FB has made your life better or why it’s useful. If you contacted 99.99% of the people you’re “friends” with on FB, would they help you? Has it made you money? Has it strengthened your relationship? And if you think i’m being absurd, google “Facebook backlash” and enjoy, or “FAcebook privacy issues”. You realize that there are people legitimately stealing identities off your FB stuff right?

      • I don’t really want to be the one that defends Facebook…I’m not a huge user or fan. But, I think you are just focusing on every negative stereotype. Yeah, the majority of status updates are pointless. But, you don’t have to see them if you don’t check your own page. So, you are totally in control of that. And, obviously, identity theft, middle school bullying, etc are not great things…

        but, on a strictly personal level. I can say it’s been useful in a couple areas.

        1) Finding a specific person you used to know. I know you don’t believe in this, getting back in touch with someone, and I’m not talking about being friends with every single graduate of your high school ever, but if you had one specific person you knew that you wanted to catch up with, or whatever, it’s probably the easiest way to find them.

        2) I don’t mind looking at some pictures. Again, no one sits you in a chair and makes you look at pictures. You can decide which ones you want to see. But occasionally if someone played a sick golf course, who knows, I enjoy looking at a picture. You know most people like to look at an occasional picture? And, if it’s 450 pics of someone’s cats…don’t look at it.

        3) it’s not bad for organizing small events. and, yeah, you could do this through email, but it’s become such a prevalent thing that it’s a way to actually get someone to respond to something instead of sending a group email out there that dies on the vine.

        4) Occasionally, someone will post a link to a funny video, or a good news article. Again, I guess this could be covered in an email, but here you kind of widen your net of what you might be linked to and at the same time you don’t have to bother with it unless you happen to be checking FB, and then want to see what it is.

        It’s far from the greatest thing ever invented, but I think it serves a purpose. I mean, bars are overpriced, I don’t really like crowds, you can never hear the game that is on the television, but sometimes you need to go to get a drink or watch a game you can’t see otherwise, or because it is what people do. Necessary evil.

      • viva the Facebook, well said 3-Putt – and i think it’s a nice way to find people to professionally collaborate with in grass roots ways…

        and Nichols…i am sorry about your dog. losing someone we love is stinky.

        Q

  5. 3-Putt, couple things:

    1. you read my mind, i just got wawa $5 thank you gift card for a coworker who completed a check-list reco for me, for insurance. now i feel cheap. she likes their coffee, she can get five cups while in sale?

    2. momma q has an LBI sticker. i hope she is not reading today. i have Bryn Mawr, Harvard, Smith, Millersville, and Gloria Steinem Forever on my car. Used to have Mount Holyoke and Free Tibet & Your Mother on my college ’84 Volvo Station Wagon.

    3. saw this great segment on Mike n’ Mike this morning while treadmilling. speaking of Mike G’s…i spent a few minutes planning my comment, thinking I’d reference Mike G, cause I didn’t trust myself spelling Golic of whatver, and no i know…might have thrown you off. anyhooo…my point, the segment was about “football as the only ‘profession’ where you boss can just go off on you…” then a bunch of people started to flood in w/ jobs that had bosses like that…military, construction…my fav was middle level investment bankers toward junior bankers. all seemed to involve high levels of testosterone, though, i must say – in shelters and prisons…women go off on people. let me tell ya!

    Q

  6. this sounds like someone whose only jobs have been playing football and talking about football. out of those two, yeah, I guess playing football is the only one where the boss “goes off,” but a quasi-clueless statement. I think probably almost any job that could happen…

    and, i’m not trying to make anyone feel cheap…

    you can obviously get something for $5 at Wawa. Depending on the scenario, though, I think there’s probably an amount of money where just sending a nice written thank you card is probably better than a relatively small amount of money.

    hope your mother isn’t too mad at me. I just don’t see the point of the stickers, maybe she could convince me otherwise.

  7. I’m going to buy. ‘2.5’ sticker for my ride, since it was my GPA…

    Sorry to hear about your dog Nichols…are you talking about Guinevere?

    • I think the GPA sticker is classic. I might do a ‘297’ sticker, since that’s the heaviest I’ve ever weighed.

      Yes, Guinevere. Her health had been on the decline for a while and she got to the point where she couldn’t eat without getting sick. She was 15 and lived a full life. I seriously never imagined how hard it would be to lose her.

    • I like GPA and top weight ideas a lot. In fact, I’m kind of surprised I haven’t seen a 4.0 sticker somewhere.

      • you have, it’s called the “student of the month” parking placard at GVHS. that may have been a very very short lived option. RAND? you ever get that, you were a contenda, i am sure.

        Q

  8. obviously my journal including the egyptian pyramid and the gary fisher bicycle is what put me on the dean’s list all those semesters….the pyramid doesn’t come close to some of the slop i handed in

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