It’s been Rex Ryan’s month. He’s in the headlines for a number of reasons, his team has just upset two of the best quarterbacks of all-time, and he seems to be enjoying every minute of it. It was a bit of surprise this week when Ryan didn’t inject himself into the story line for the game against the Steelers. I guess he thinks he got the boys this far, and they can take it from here. The performance by Rex has added to his existing reputation, and I imagine if you liked Ryan before you now think even more of him, and if you previously disliked him, you’re probably at the point where you are ready to adopt the Steelers on Sunday. Rex has never been a guy I strongly disliked. He has his routine, and even though I despise the Jets, I have to admit that Ryan, in general, is pretty entertaining to watch. It’s a fine line though. There are plenty of coaches out there who drive me crazy. An off the top of my head sampling…
More annoying alleged offensive genius, Martz or Billick? I should probably list both guys, but Billick is thankfully out of the NFL right now. Martz is still hanging his hat on the “Greatest Show on Turf.” The decade old Rams teams that he coordinated and then led back to the Super Bowl as a head coach only to kick start the Patriots dynasty. Since leaving St. Louis Martz has presided over 3 offenses, Detroit/SF and now Chicago. None of these stops has ever produced anything like St. Louis (Hmmm, wonder why? No Warner/Faulk/Holt/Bruce?), and Martz usually ends up in a feud with the head coach or buries the team in an overly complex scheme. It’s a nightmare. He says things like, “confidence can get mistaken for ego,” and calls Matt Forte option passes up 4 TDs. He’s Mike Martz. Too annoying to bear.
Maddon has shoved aside Tony LaRussa as the most annoying coach in MLB in my book, and that is no easy accomplishment. He’s straight from the LaRussa school, meaning everyone falls all over themselves complimenting his intelligence. He reads books! He wears trendy glasses! He could probably do the NY Times crossword…if he wanted to. I find the whole “intelligent” coach bit incredibly insulting. Not only does it imply that all the other coaches are stupid (because they aren’t reading Atlas Shrugged on the road or something), but it also implies that there is some correlation between potential on Jeopardy and managing a game. I’m quite sure there probably is not. These guys get built up as baseball academics and then you can’t criticize anything they do, because they are soooo smart. It’s horse bleep. Add that to the fact that Maddon is “quirky” and likes to do things like dress the crowd in tie-dye and his team in hockey jerseys and he catapults right past Tony LaRussa.
Jackson hits about every category you can imagine. Just about everything I said about Maddon, you could apply to Jackson. Oh, he gives the players books to read! He picks them out himself! How delightful. Putting aside the fact that Jackson wouldn’t be caught dead coaching a team with less than top-3 in the league talent, there is something that he does that drives me insane. It’s the passive aggressive insinuations. He’ll make an off-hand comment about a player, or about a referee, or about Mark Cuban, and it’s always veiled in some way and there’s always an ulterior motive. It’s maddening. At least if Cuban doesn’t like something he’ll tell you straight up. Jackson will float something through the media and then sit back and massage his scraggly facial hair, while everyone reads way too much into it. He’s no genius, he’s just an egomaniacal baby. Maybe that’s why he relates to the players so well.
It’s hard to pick a college basketball coach. It’s a population sullied by many shady, shady individuals. Pearl is the signature “energy” guy. He’s tireless, he just loves the game, Tennessee is his dream job, he does awesome things like paint his chest for Lady Vols games, blah, blah, blah. Pearl is tireless, in his pursuit to position himself in the spotlight. He’s the ultimate “look at me” coach who has somehow disguised the act as just being a “great guy.” Oh, that’s Bruce. Everyone loves him. I must say it was incredibly satisfying to me when Pearl got nailed for the recruiting violations. It was sweet poetry, because it ruined his shtick. No more playing head cheerleader, Bruce. You’re just another snake oil salesman.
Tortorella is a hockey coach for those who aren’t familiar. He is currently with the Rangers, but started his annoying journey in Tampa Bay. Tortorella is the classic faux tough guy. He’s always got the angry look on his face. He dismisses reporters. He trashes his own players. I guess for the non-hockey inclined, he’s a little like Mike Ditka. He’s a bully, or tries to be, but it’s offset by the fact that he’s probably about 5’7”. So, yeah, go ahead and throw a little Napoleon complex into the mix as well. Tortorella is the chip on your shoulder guy. He can’t just go out and coach, he has to have this gimmick to get it done, and that’s why he wears out his welcome and will probably never get lucky again like he did in Tampa Bay.
- Andy Reid
- Coach Cal
- Charlie Weis
- Roy Williams