I always like to pick on non-sports publications when they talk about sports. I think it is justified. Stay in your lane. Forbes has gotten into the act with the 5 most miserable sports cities in the country. Or the cities that have suffered the most misery, does that sound better? The thing is, for these cities, it doesn’t matter how you phrase it, they’ve been kicked in the junk and some polite wordplay isn’t going to make any difference. Of course, since this isn’t a list of the most valuable franchises in sports, Forbes totally dropped the ball. Their biggest problem was trying to measure these cities, put point values on their misery…impossible.
- San Diego
Where to start? I think Seattle belongs somewhere on the list. They seem to be (with the possible exception of baseball) good fans. They are burdened with the Seahawks and their hideous color scheme, and the Sonics left town for Oklahoma City of all places. That’s a blow to your self-esteem. But the most miserable? Seattle seems a bit nouveau to take the crown. But, amongst this group, they probably should be on top.
Atlanta is a total joke. You have to care about professional sports to be miserable. Forget about hockey. They were spoiled with 15 years of playoff baseball…didn’t care. The Falcons were popular when Michael Vick was there, but you get the sense that the Falcons have to win at least 12 games to be relevant. I will say that the Hawks have on occasion been a sorry excuse for a franchise, but that hardly makes a miserable city. This article put emphasis on losing playoff series, so the Braves run was the epitome of misery? Go talk to a Royals fan.
Phoenix and San Diego automatically get disqualified for weather considerations. What does that have to do with it? Misery is a package deal. It isn’t about just the teams. It’s about sitting out in the stadium on an awful day, or being in lockdown for the entire winter while your basketball team goes 19-63. If you can trip out of your back door and fall in the ocean, if cold is 65 and hot is 85, sorry San Diego…you’re out. And, Phoenix just doesn’t have enough history, I’m sorry. The Cardinals stink, but considering how long they’ve been in Arizona it actually could be worse. The Diamondbacks won a damn World Series! And then the fans abandoned the team when they got terrible again. No dice.
Buffalo clearly belongs on the list. To have them at 4 is an insult to any true Buffalo fan. They only have two teams so their points per franchise is very high here. They never spend any money, they occasionally have a couple good hockey players, but the team is never good enough, and the Bills? Oh, sweet lordy, the Bills. Don’t they love their Bills. I think they once had a parade in Buffalo for losing the Super Bowl. Doesn’t that make you just want to cry for them? Awful. And, now no one wants to play there, no one wants to coach there (it is Buffalo, after all), they need a new owner. They’d love to lose another Super Bowl at this point. Poor Buffalo.
My Top Five:
- Kansas City
- Salt Lake City
How Cleveland doesn’t top this list is beyond me. The Indians were once so bad there was a movie about them being bad. They got a new stadium, lost a heartbreaking World Series and eventually found their way back to the basement. They last won a World Series in 1948. The end is not in sight. The Browns were once a proud franchise, but guess what? That franchise is now in Baltimore and grace periods expire. The Browns were ripped away from the city and they get an expansion team in their place a few years later that eventually was the breeding ground for Derek Anderson. I don’t think we need to touch on the basketball situation in Cleveland. They just traded for Baron Davis.
My other two picks I think are a little under the radar. They are both smaller markets where the fans have a good reputation for being passionate and fair. Which, I think translates into owners getting away with murder. The Chiefs by all accounts have one of the best fan bases in the league, and yet they operate like a poor man’s version of the Eagles. The Eagles shoot for 10-6 every year, the Chiefs shoot for 6-10. Have they won a playoff game since Joe Montana? Super Bowl 4 or whatever it was…that was a long time ago. The Royals had one great decade…the 80s. Since then they’ve essentially been a farm system for the big market teams. See ya Greinke! Can’t wait for this fresh round of prospects to be shipped out. Who wants Billy Butler? Your 2017 starting Yankees 3rd Baseman…Mike Moustakas!
I feel bad for Salt Lake City because all their eggs are in one basket. It’s the Jazz, and now the Jazz are falling apart. No one wants to play in Salt Lake City. They were lucky enough to get a couple of superstars but that coincided with the Jordan era, which means no titles. Now Jerry Sloan is gone. Deron Williams is gone, and the worst thing about Salt Lake is there is nowhere else to turn. Even disgruntled Cubs fans could hop on the Blackhawks bandwagon or something? Out in Utah what else is there to do.
So, that’s my analysis, feel free to tell me where I am wrong.
Quiz of the Day: Fast Food Chains. Category: You’re Gordo. My Score: 25/50.
I imagine the more you’ve traveled around the country the better you’ll do here. I didn’t do too great. My hints would be to think all meals and expand your idea of fast food just a little bit. For example, my freebie: Panera Bread.