Messing With People.


Sergeant Innnnnnnnn-Accurate.


Tell me if I am alone in this perception:  Certain NFL teams run like well-oiled machines while others operate like the restaurants Gordon Ramsay visits on Kitchen Nightmares.  That’s how I picture things.  Take the Patriots, or the Colts, or even the Eagles to a certain extent and I have this feeling that someone is in charge, there is a philosophy in place, and even if they don’t always make the correct decisions–there is a plan.  Then I think of teams like Buffalo, or Cincy, the Panthers and I wonder, what the hell is going on?  Does the GM just wander into random offices and ask people’s opinions on players?  Do they pull names out of a hat?  Do they, like me, fall in love with completely useless tools like arm strength and 40-time?  Something has to be going terribly wrong for these teams that can’t pull themselves out of the league’s basement.

I think this presents an interesting opportunity for the teams that have it together.  This is what I would do, because I have no problem wasting time, and messing with people is pretty hilarious.  If I was a respected organization, say the Patriots, I’d be bringing in prospects all the time that I didn’t like one bit.  I’m not saying that is what they are doing by bringing Jake Locker in for a 2-day workout.  In fact, I’m quite sure that isn’t what they are doing, but wouldn’t it be hilarious if they were just messing around?

Locker is one of the  most polarizing prospects I can remember.  At one point he was considered a potential number one overall pick.  He decided to stay in school.  He had a subpar senior season, and other quarterbacks like Gabbert and Newton emerged and surpassed him on almost everyone’s draft board.  He’s always had the raw tools, but people wonder if he’ll ever develop into an NFL passer.   In some ways, he’s like Tim Tebow, with a much better arm.  Locker has the experience though, the maturity, he’s had 4 years to develop in a college system.  There is still the tremendous potential, and maybe not the catastrophic risk if you took Locker later in the 1st round or in the early 2nd compared to taking Newton in the top-3 overall.

I imagine the Patriots like Locker as a project.  They could shove him behind Brady for a while and see what happens. With so many teams a little cool on Locker and with all the QB talent in the draft, maybe Locker slips?  The Patriots have a lot of picks and maneuverability.

What I am wondering about, though, is what this Locker visit does to the other front offices around the league.  Do you think any team out there has already written off Locker, but now looks at this and says, the Patriots are interested?  This is the team that found Brady after all.  Matt Cassel too, if you consider him any prize.  This is the conversation I picture:

Bengals GM (To Scouting Director):  I thought you said Locker stinks.

Scouting Director:  He does.

Bengals GM:  Then why the hell are the Pats looking at him?

Scouting Director:  Stinks is a strong word.  I like him more as a sleeper.

Then, the Patriots could laugh their asses off when someone takes Locker in the 1st round and the guy they actually want will fall right into their lap.  This would be my plan if I was New England or any other good team and if I was one of the bad teams, I’d be paranoid.  Constantly paranoid.


MLB Underdog of the Day:  Yesterday’s Result: Loss.  Financial Status (-275 gold coins).

I know no one is paying attention to this, but last night was an all-time, all-timer.  Let’s just say the Blue Jays battered King Felix, and were leading 7-0 in the 7th when I went to bed.  Wake up, and 8-7 Mariners is your final.  Scene.  I’m glad I don’t actually put this money down, because I’d be inconsolable today.  I also wouldn’t have gotten a wink of sleep last night.  Heroic pick, deserved a better fate.

Today’s selection:  Kansas City (+125) over Minnesota.

I’m still waiting for anonymous letters from Red Sox fans asking me to pick against them, but they haven’t come yet.  I guess they trust Jon Lester tonight.  I have to move to the midwest, because I think it is raining in every state from Maine to Alabama right now.  The Twins are ice-cold, and Jeff Francis has gotten off to a good start this year for K.C.  I’ll take those resurgent Royals.

Quiz of the Day: Famous People in Top Hats.  Category: Bygone Eras.  My Score: 20/32.


12 thoughts on “Messing With People.

  1. 18/32. I felt like William Jennings Bryan should have been a correct answer for this quiz.

    And someone should tell Locker that there is a wolf standing behind him who can walk on water. Scary!!

  2. you know who else is messing with people? Vegas.

    Flyers are -160 for the series. That’s scary low. A typical 2-7 series should put you in the 200 ball park. This is not going to end well.

  3. 2-7 in the West is Sharks vs. Kings

    Sharks are -270

    Closest series in terms of odds are:

    Ducks/Preds (4/5): -130
    Pens/Lightning (4/5): Pens -145
    And then your Philadelphia Flyers at -160
    The remaining 5 series are all in the -200 range.

    Hopefully this means nothing and I’m reading too far into it. The only thing that can’t be denied is how skinny that line is. The other thing that can’t be denied is Vegas isn’t always right.

    I’m nervous. Gonna go adopt a kitten.

  4. I’m gonna go with Washington/Boston in the East

    I’ll take Vancouver/San Jose out West

    Washington over San Jose in the Cup.

  5. Yeah, that’s not a great line. The only thing I can think of is the goalies, but that should be offset by flyers bandwagon money.


    I like Vancouver if they can get out of the first round. East is wide open.

    • I really want to say Chicago will beat Vancouver in the first round. But I’m pretty sure Chicago beat them in the playoffs last year and I like the revenge angle, plus the opportunity to knock off the defending champs.

      • I think its 2 straight years chicago over vancouver.

        The canucks are just a juggernaut this year, though. Don’t think Chicago has the magic this year.

        The Flyers really are the deepest team in the East and should win it, but who knows.

  6. Some people on the local radios in Philadelphia seem to take issue with my recent display of comfort expressing emotions. As an elite athlete (leading the most epic team in NFL history), and as a proven, superior procreator, I’d like to remind the Philadelphia area that attributes such as vulnerability, feelings, and the ability to stay focused in the pocket remain essential facets of America’s Next Top Model and the Best Dang Quarterback and Manli-est Manliman the NFL has ever seen.

    Yes, I am man enough to comb my hair before press conferences, I am man enough to wear pink, man enough to sip coffee in Paris in those miniature size cups they call espresso, and man enough to allow my wife to dress me because she has stellar fashion sense. And I am manly enough to appreciate the values of a woman who wants to save the environment, even though we know certain truths (if we are honest with ourselves, the environment is beyond saving) … because Giselle has the desire to live her heart’s purpose as well. Look, this Schwartzman guy, did he ever have a heart? Maybe at 11 when he admits that he had dreams, and yet – now that he lives them…unlike me, a real manly man, I remember that the toughest men alive also have huge heart.

    My name is Tom Brady, and I support this Q message for better men of tomorrow.

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