The Next Big Idea.

Amish Motors.

Every once in a while they just pop into my head.  Case and point?  The Condiment Revolver.  Some ideas are just so big, so perfect that they only come from an Ivy League saturated think tank like the one I’ve assembled at Three Putt Territory.  I’d love to shuffle off some credit to someone else here, after all I did watch the 60 Minutes segment on Microsoft Co-Founder Paul Allen last night, but there is no co-founder to this idea (back to the trenches, boys).  It’s all me, straight from my brain, through the keyboard device and into your eyeballs in the span of a couple of hours.

It started as I paged through the most recent issue of GQ Magazine.  I like GQ because there is usually about 25 really good pages a month and then another 25 that can produce some type of reaction from me.  It’s usually horror over a price tag, or rage that GQ thought themselves capable of ranking sports fans.  Can’t say I have the build, the wallet or the elan to pull off many of the magazine’s fashion tips.  I’m not sure I would look good walking down the street in a skinny leg suit pant that ended just above my ankle, but this doesn’t keep me from skimming.  Big section on belts this month, including one for $475.  Leather? Nope.  Appears to be a fiber of some kind.  For that price, I imagine it is woven from the wool of a sheep that lives in Narnia.

Immediately after the over-priced belt section there was a little blurb about two guys who employ the Amish to make their leather belts.  Apparently the old-school craftsmanship is quite trendy these days.  So the Amish guy toils away and then some hipster drops a few hundos on it?  It’s an odd product cycle, but what it made me realize is that people love buying stuff made by the Amish.  Love it.  And, that triggered my big idea.  What aren’t the Amish making yet?

The Amish dominate the shed market, they construct flawless furniture, leather goods, quilts, wagon wheels, the odd bottle of Birch Beer.  I’m not sure if all of those are accurate, but the point is the Amish have their hands in a lot of different businesses.  We need something totally unique.  It came to me as plain as day:  Amish Motors.

Now, you might be thinking, you’d be better off starting Amish Microsystems.  What do the Amish know about motor vehicles?  Well, I imagine they know close to nothing.  Old Clip-Clop up there pulling the buggy logs about “1” horsepower from what I can gather.  But, let’s not sell the Amish short.  I think they could figure out an internal combustion engine pretty quickly.  Drop one of those puppies off this spring and by fall there might be a couple of horses out of work.

The beauty of the idea is the instantaneous credibility.  Do you need a warranty at Amish Motors?  God, no.  This Amish guy made it.  It runs like a top.  If it breaks down, he’ll come fix the thing himself.  Plus, think about the interiors.  You want fine leather work?  You want a steering wheel made out of a beam that’s been in a hay loft since 1784?  Bingo.  Even if the Amish never quite figured out the “engine,” I’d still like to put them to work on a chassis–or whatever the word is. A body, an interior.  Think of the old-school elegance.  You’re driving down the street, is that Rolls Royce?  No sir, that’s Amish Motors, biiiiitches.  Get it done.

***

MLB Underdog of the Day:  Friday’s Result: WIN!  Financial Status: (-360 Raffle Tickets)

Finally got off the heartbreaking loss train.  The Rangers win in New York on Friday was my first positive result in a while.  I think the weekend came at the wrong time, because I saw some real tasty numbers on Saturday and Sunday, but couldn’t dabble.  Was Friday a fluke, or are we on the long road back?

Today’s Selection:  Anaheim (+125) @ Texas.

The Rangers have lost a little zip since the Josh Hamilton injury and this is a huge series for the Angels.  They need some respect in the AL West.  It was pretty slim pickings for underdogs today (Marcum is Even Money against Fat Joe), and so I’ve got to put my coin behind Ervin Santana.

***

Quiz of the Day:  Sports Movie Characters.  Category: Turn off TNT, Dang it.  My Score: 29/36.

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11 thoughts on “The Next Big Idea.

  1. 8. Bang.
    As for the Amish, they’re clutch on every level. Gonna refinish my basement. Well it’s expensive. I’ve had numerous people tell me to buy the supplies and hire an Amish guy to do the dirty work.
    Money saved, basement finished. Done and done

    • Not sure. I’m definitely going to have FatHeads of Bob and Boucher and alternate putting them up while I watch the Flyers.

      Who you got tonight in goal?

    • Bobrovsky won’t even be on the bench?

      I couldn’t believe, googled it and there was the news about him being a healthy scratch.

      Michael Fucking Leighton is the backup now?

      This is just too fucking weird. My brain is usually scambled eggs after sporcle. This is just too much for me to process. I need a nap.

      • you’ve got 3 goalies. might as well dress them all by game three.

        i’m way anti-leighton, but i think Lavy has a little sneaker for him. no clue why.

  2. this idea pretty much leaves me speechless.
    i think i’m gonna send ya to the psych ward…a for presentation, unlike deglar…e for…um, effort?

    dude…hilarious idea. but do amish make things counter to their ethics? that’s a serious question. i’d like to know…cause maybe that is where the industrialized motor thing is a prob?

    otherwise, maybe i should just let you speak at my gig friday in lancaster, start local…rally some business…pony up (pun intended??) some investors.

    Q

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