So Cruel NFL, So Cruel.

Without NFL Match Up, Hoge Would Have to Give His Ties Back to the Circus.

The NFL schedule came out yesterday to muted fanfare.  There was a time when minutes after the schedule was released you’d be ticking through the games trying to predict a team’s record.  It ranks up there with pitchers and catchers as a rite of spring.  The problem is, it seems like no one wants to talk too much about schedule, because there is no guarantee there will be games.  Don’t get too excited for a big game, because you might jinx the season all together?

I feel like we are going through a chronological checklist with this lockout, and pretty soon the fans are going to start freaking out.  Nothing has really been taken away from them yet, but it’s starting.  The schedule came out and the black cloud hangs over it.  Will the Packers and Saints open the season?  Will the Giants and Jets get to meet on the anniversary of 9/11?  That would be a great and emotional event, but any discussion of it now has to be qualified with, if they get a deal done in time to start the season.  Next up is the Draft.  Want to get excited about who your team takes? Well, who knows when you might actually see them play.  I think the fans have a little voice in this, a little muscle to flex, and when you start messing with their routines, that is when you are going to feel the fury.

Just because it feels like the right thing to do, and because I have to maintain my stance that the NFL and Players Association will come to a deal, I will now go through the Eagles schedule, game by game, as if everything is normal. You can’t get me down, Rodger.

  1. At St. Louis–Loss, because everyone will assume they’ll win.  (0-1)
  2. At Atlanta–Win, because everyone will be in a panic.  (1-1)
  3. New York Giants–Win, because the Giants still stink.  (2-1)
  4. San Francisco–Win, because McNabb is playing QB for the Niners (3-1)
  5. At Buffalo–Win, because the Bills aren’t smart enough to stick with Fitzy (4-1)
  6. At Washington–Loss, because they’ll play down to the ‘Skins level (4-2)
  7. Dallas (after a bye)–Win, because they don’t lose after a bye (5-2)
  8. Chicago–Loss, because they always lose ugly to Chicago (5-3)
  9. Arizona–Win, because McNabb is playing QB for the Cards (6-3)
  10. At New York Giants–Win, because one team always sweeps (7-3)
  11. New England–Win, because it’ll be the Eagles Super Bowl (8-3)
  12. At Seattle–Loss, because they’ll letdown like bitches (8-4)
  13. At Miami–Loss, because it’s time to worry about missing the playoffs (8-5)
  14. New York Jets–Win, because the Jets offense will still stink (9-5)
  15. At Dallas–Win, because Dallas will be out of it by this point (10-5)
  16. Washington–Win, because Shanny will be back to starting Rexy (11-5)

There you go, who needs to play a season.  The results are right here for you.

*All predictions based on Kevin Kolb not taking a single snap.


8 thoughts on “So Cruel NFL, So Cruel.

  1. at Seattle is a stone-cold mortal lock for a loss.

    They have an emotional game with the Pats at home and then make the longest trip possible to play Seattle. But the worst dynamic of the game is they are playing it on Thursday.

    Coming off emotional game + Short rest + Long travel = Loss.

    This pick is like when Arizona and Houston came our way on a short week and got blown out, except the reverse is in order.

  2. LOL, i do love the optimism. 5-1 in the division huh? Why p*ssy out like that, go back, grab your sack and pick an undefeated division schedule.

    Of course the NFL would screw up the chance to have the Giants and Jets meet on Sept. 11th. Instead the Jets play “America’s Team” and the Giants play the ‘skins. So one of the NY teams won’t be playing in NY on the ten year anniversary. Kudos Goodell, you continue to astound me.

    • oh really?

      i totally misread that headline.

      I thought they were playing each other.


      what no one has ever gone 5-1 in a division before?

      • Its a possibility, i just think the division will be tougher this year b/c i think the cowboys will rebound.

    • I kind of like what the NFL did with the Sept. 11 games.

      You have NY (trade center) traveling to D.C. (pentagon) so you get to see the impact of the attacks on two cities. It’s not that it was just an attack on NY, it was an attack on the country so I think the game will serve as a good reminder of that.

      Maybe you could have gone with Dallas going to D.C. and the Jets/Giants playing each other, but I think too much focus would be on New York.

      Hopefully the NFL has the Giants/Skin play at 1 pm and then save Jets/Cowboys for the 4 pm game.

      • I agree and don’t agree. Yes, there should be billing for both NYC and Wash, but the sheer volume of loss of life in NYC is staggering, and exponentially larger than DC. I’m not saying more or less impactful or downplaying the Pentagon attacks, just that to me there is a difference.

        Also, having the two NY teams-who did so much for the city and respective families after 9/11-playing in their stadium i think is important to the players themselves and would have been a nice gesture. I’d venture to guess if you asked the g-men players if they’re upset they won’t be in Giants Stadium for that wknd they’d emphatically answer yes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s