The NFL schedule came out yesterday to muted fanfare. There was a time when minutes after the schedule was released you’d be ticking through the games trying to predict a team’s record. It ranks up there with pitchers and catchers as a rite of spring. The problem is, it seems like no one wants to talk too much about schedule, because there is no guarantee there will be games. Don’t get too excited for a big game, because you might jinx the season all together?
I feel like we are going through a chronological checklist with this lockout, and pretty soon the fans are going to start freaking out. Nothing has really been taken away from them yet, but it’s starting. The schedule came out and the black cloud hangs over it. Will the Packers and Saints open the season? Will the Giants and Jets get to meet on the anniversary of 9/11? That would be a great and emotional event, but any discussion of it now has to be qualified with, if they get a deal done in time to start the season. Next up is the Draft. Want to get excited about who your team takes? Well, who knows when you might actually see them play. I think the fans have a little voice in this, a little muscle to flex, and when you start messing with their routines, that is when you are going to feel the fury.
Just because it feels like the right thing to do, and because I have to maintain my stance that the NFL and Players Association will come to a deal, I will now go through the Eagles schedule, game by game, as if everything is normal. You can’t get me down, Rodger.
- At St. Louis–Loss, because everyone will assume they’ll win. (0-1)
- At Atlanta–Win, because everyone will be in a panic. (1-1)
- New York Giants–Win, because the Giants still stink. (2-1)
- San Francisco–Win, because McNabb is playing QB for the Niners (3-1)
- At Buffalo–Win, because the Bills aren’t smart enough to stick with Fitzy (4-1)
- At Washington–Loss, because they’ll play down to the ‘Skins level (4-2)
- Dallas (after a bye)–Win, because they don’t lose after a bye (5-2)
- Chicago–Loss, because they always lose ugly to Chicago (5-3)
- Arizona–Win, because McNabb is playing QB for the Cards (6-3)
- At New York Giants–Win, because one team always sweeps (7-3)
- New England–Win, because it’ll be the Eagles Super Bowl (8-3)
- At Seattle–Loss, because they’ll letdown like bitches (8-4)
- At Miami–Loss, because it’s time to worry about missing the playoffs (8-5)
- New York Jets–Win, because the Jets offense will still stink (9-5)
- At Dallas–Win, because Dallas will be out of it by this point (10-5)
- Washington–Win, because Shanny will be back to starting Rexy (11-5)
There you go, who needs to play a season. The results are right here for you.
*All predictions based on Kevin Kolb not taking a single snap.