That’s the lovely McCourt couple in happier times. Now their split has officially run the Los Angeles Dodgers into the ground. Major League Baseball took over control of the Dodgers, and Bud Selig plans to appoint a trustee that will oversee the day-to-day operations. Basically, Bud doesn’t think the McCourts can be trusted to not do something catastrophically stupid or detrimental to not only the Dodgers, but the entire league. When you can rouse old Bud out of hibernation, you’ve really done something. Eventually, the Dodgers will be sold, and then some time after that the McCourts may settle their own differences, but we’re overlooking a crucial point.
It’s time to buy low on the Dodgers. This is a glamorous franchise. It’s Los Angeles. If the McCourts were selling with some footing underneath them, they’d be able to command a nice price, but considering they’ve been rendered impotent by MLB, I’m sensing a bargain. I think we should take a shot. Let’s get a group together. Talk to your investors. I’ll get to work setting up some kind of Pay Pal “donate” button on the site, and when we reach 1/2 billion we can start hammering out the details. The Dodgers are one of the last teams I’d actually pick to own if I was a billionaire, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t get satisfaction out of cutting Rafael Furcal.
Nine Other Possibly Annoying, Probably Genius and Outrageous Things I’d Do as the Owner:
1. You know how managers sit outside the dugout in Spring Training on a little folding chair? That’s where I’d sit every night. NBA owners get courtside seats, but I’m relegated to some “box?” I don’t think so.
2. I’d be taking batting practice all the time. Literally all day. They’d have to drag me off the field. The players? They can hit in the cages.
3. If the NFL remained on lockout, I’d hire 14 NFL stars to play 7 on 7 flag football in center field during rain delays.
4. I’d replace the ball girls with well-trained Goldendoodles.
5. I’d sell seats in the bullpen. This the most fun place to hang out during a game, hands down.
6. Candy Vendors. I’d sell cheap candy during games. How many packs of M&Ms do you think I could move for $1 a piece? 10,000 a game? 20,000? Forget cotton candy.
7. Build a Diner. How many ballparks have bars in them, or somewhere very close by these days? Almost all of them, right? They stay open after the game, so what’s the next logical step? You guessed it, French Toast. Gold mine.
8. Steal Bob Uecker away from the Brewers. As long as his heart is ok, I want him behind the mic in some capacity.
9. Discounts for people who leave their cell phones in the car. Walk through a metal detector…BANG. Rebate. Corollary: Anyone caught waving at a camera while on their cell phone loses their tickets for life.
MLB Underdog of the Day. Yesterday’s Result: Loss. Financial Status (-430 big ones).
Ok, back to reality. Got rocked yesterday. Chuckles Morton got rocked, and so it goes. Can’t get back on my feet here. Scrambling and scufflin’.
Today’s Pick: Oakland (+125) over Seattle.
I tried this once before. Betting against King Felix. Well, it should have worked. Then Felix lost his next start. He’s out of rhythm. And, the Mariners score a couple of times a week. Need this one bad.
Quiz of the Day: Fat/Skinny Comedy Combos. Category: Metabolism. My Score: 27/34
Gosh darn Sporcle was down most of the afternoon, delayed the bullcorn out of this post.