Would You Still Hang Out With Jack?

Cubes, Jack, Oldest Living Chest Hair in America and D-Suth.

There had to be an extended period of time where Jack Nicholson would have been the number one choice of celebrities you wanted to hang out with.  Nicholson is off the charts famous, in a pre-TMZ way that allows him to be over-exposed and yet mysterious at the same time.  You don’t know Jack Nicholson, but you think you do, and you want to hang out with that guy.  For the perks alone.  The endless lines of women he must attract, the Lakers seats that cost more than you’ll make in your lifetime.  Plus, one of the most eclectic groups of friends in all of Hollywood.  Am I still describing Jack, or am I just reverting back to the image I have of him in my mind?

Here’s the shot that I saw adorning ESPN’s front page a couple of minutes ago.  Jack and Mark Cuban.  Jack looks…OK.  I mean, who’s he trying to impress?  But, note the entourage.  Who is that fella Cuban is stone-cold ignoring after the handshake?  Is he lost?  Didn’t Doyle Brunson wear that shirt when he won the World Series of Poker 40 years ago?  It’s quite a look, and then there is Donald Sutherland in the background just being Donald Sutherland.  There’s not a young lady to be seen.  This appears to be Jack’s crew, which in the spirit of Derek Jeter slugging my weight, makes me question…has age finally caught up to the legend?

Now the title of the post is a bit of a stretch, because I assume almost everyone would still hang out with Jack.  At least once, just for the experience, but I wonder if it would live up to expectations, and is there someone else you’d rather choose if you were going to insert yourself into a celebrity clique?

For me, I think you’d still be hard pressed to outdo Jack.  I don’t think I’d care if he showed up in a mustard stained track suit.  If you were hanging with Jack, that’d still be a big deal.  I’d ask for a seat away from polyester Paulie up there, but other than that, count me in.  I feel like Jack is still the biggest guy in the room, and even if he no longer uses that fact to his full ability you could still coat-tail off his general gravitas.  This could be something of a last hurrah, though.  Look at his wingmen.  If it gets much worse, he might just start watching the games from home.

***

I’m headed down to the Phillies game tonight.  Look for me in the stands.  I’ll be holding a sign that says, “I thought this was Dollar Dog Night.”  It’ll be my first look at Big Roy since he tossed the no-hitter in the playoffs, so I’m expecting, just by the laws of probability that he’ll chuck another one tonight.  Stranger things have happened.  Tim Hudson threw a 1-hitter yesterday.  So, pretty much anything is on the table.  Phils could use the sweep.  The schedule is about to toughen up, and even with a gaudy 20-9 record, you want to keep beating up on the lesser teams.  Raul Ibanez, suddenly on the doorstep of hitting .200, and owner of 5 hits in his last 2 games will try to keep it going against a lefty John Lannan. Don’t look now, but Raul has good numbers against him.  The hot streak might reach 3 games.

***

MLB Underdog of the Day.  Yesterday’s Result:  Winner!  Financial Status (-1/2 a dimesky)

Dub’s Result:  Loss.  Financial Status: (-45 dollars).

I hit a pretty massive dog yesterday, +170 for the Marlins over the Cards.  Pretty sure it was my biggest win of the year and it came at a really good time.  Dub couldn’t quite get deep into house money as the Brewers continued to disappoint against Atlanta.  What is the deal with Milwaukee?  Funny you should ask, because…

Today’s Selection:  Milwaukee (+115) over Atlanta.

The Brewers are getting dominated by the Braves pitching staff, but I’m hoping they can bust out of it on a day with a real limited slate of games.  Marcum vs Beachy looks like the most favorable match-up of the series for the Brewers, and I’m thinking they can escape Atlanta with a win.

***

Top-10 Most Embarrassing Baseball Cards in my “Special Binder.” I was going to retire thanks to these puppies.  

  1. Jeff Manto 1991 Score Rookie Prospect
  2. Bret Barberie 1992 Studio
  3. Todd Zeile 1990 Fleer
  4. Billy Swift 1993 Flair
  5. Butch Huskey 1993 Upper Deck
  6. Chad Mattola 1992 Topps Draft Pick
  7. Phil Hiatt 1993 Upper Deck
  8. Chris Sabo 1991 Upper Deck
  9. Danny Tartabull 1985 Donruss Rated Rookie
  10. Tom Browning 1986 Donruss
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12 thoughts on “Would You Still Hang Out With Jack?

  1. Nicholson was capital H horrible in that “Just Go With It” flick…didn’t you say something like, “going through the motions.”

    Please remove me from any art form where people pay to be entertained (Ibanez? jk, i am hard on him cause i secretly heart his heart)…if i ever get THAT bad.

    3-Putt, shouldn’t your sign read, “I thought Dollar Dog goes with a side of Roy Sauce.” he was sched for Tues no? HSquared was not as happy with his pitcher, though all’s well that ends well.

    you know how i feel every real man should have a last name of Sauce, i imagine Roy Ketchup would suit your prefeneces better.

    Q

  2. yeah…

    you’ve got to realize that “sauce” is not a good nickname and after someone’s name it is kind of gross and IN-appropriate.

    he wasn’t happy with Hamels? He totally dominated.

    I don’t think Oswalt could have done any better.

    • that was Hsquared before the game…you know, he’s our eternal, maximum pessimist.

      inappropriate? i’ll have to review my Dasa Kelly 7th Grade Dirty Dictionary. She did feel I had some vocab deficits.

      I think Sauce, like Salsa or Saucey.

      Tomato Sauce is delicious and nutritious.

      Q

  3. I think Jack just doesn’t need to trot around the hollywood hottie anymore, so he brings guys he’s buddies with to the games. At some point, you probably get sick of trying to keep up convo with a chick who’s 40-50 years younger, has a max high school education and her view on world politics is “everyone should just get along and give each other things for free…..you know?” I’m sure he still goes out on the town with the younger ilk of actors, but for a Lakers game you want someone who’s engaged in the game i guess and isn’t asking you who Kobe Bryant is.

  4. I’ve somehow got a complete set, tucked away in plastic, of the 1989 Topps #1 draft picks. At best you have Robin Ventura, I probably have three or four of his rookie cards which add up to two cents total value at one haypenny per card.

    And some real gems in there. Billy Bene. Steve Avery. Jim Abbott. Mark Lewis. All SAFELY in plastic.

  5. i saw that. it’s amazing how many club heads he snaps off like that.

    i guess it is strength combined with the worst swing of all-time.

    he’d be able to hit it 10 miles if he was ever right

  6. pretty sure i bought that steve avery card at a show. i loved that guy. i’ve got a signed 8×10 as well. bling bling.

    that is a hilarious list. mine would be very similar. the Chad Mattola was my favorite, i think i have that one in Topps GOLD!

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