No Uncle Mo.

No Roses for the Pre-Race Chalk.

Are the names in horse racing becoming a little less regal?  I like the influx of some middle class names, and it’s a shame that pre-race favorite Uncle Mo was scratched, because there is a name you can get behind.  Among the other touches of class in the Kentucky Derby field are “Stay Thirsty”–the Frat Boy Favorite ,” “Pants on Fire,” “Derby Kitten” –no relation to Flyers Kitten, “Shackelford,” and “Mucho Macho Man.”  What’s the worst name of the bunch?  Probably, “Brilliant Speed,” which is one step away from calling a colt, “Fast Horse.”  I guess you eventually just run out of good names.  If only one person in the name could be named Bob–I imagine we’d start to get some weird handles out there.

Enough about the names, the Kentucky Derby is always an occasion.  It’s like a miniature version of our very own Royal Wedding.  Is that offensive to British people?  Because, I’m ok with that.  But really, the Kentucky Derby provides a nice opportunity to get together and pretend like you know about something you couldn’t be more clueless about, and that is handicapping.  If you’ve never bet on a horse race, you should do it at least once in your life.  You don’t have to drop a fortune, but just to feel that little rush for two minutes–It’s kind of special.  You totally  almost understand how people get addicted.  A great activity is going to a track or an OTB with a stone-cold, degenerate horse gambler.  It’s like watching a traffic accident without the gaper delay.

The upside of Derby betting, especially this year, is that it is totally wide open.  It wasn’t the most distinguished field to begin with.  Now, you throw out one of the favorites, factor in the 19-horse cluster, and you can basically draw a name out of a hat.  Picking by name could very well work for you, or you go by jockey, silk colors, how cute the horse’s face is–really anything.  The downside of horse betting is that it is parimutuel.  Essentially this means you don’t really know your odds until all the money is in.  You might bet a horse at 20-1, but by the time the race goes off that number could be drastically lower.  So, unlike a football game where you could conceivably get in early for better odds, in horse racing you can only win what is in the pot.  It’s the house taking a standard percentage instead of taking that plus risking the swing of wins and losses.  If you didn’t understand any of that–go find that same degenerate I was talking about earlier.

My Stone-Cold Lock Trifecta Box:  Nehro, Mucho Macho Man, and Twice the Appeal.

***

MLB Underdog of the Day:  Yesterday’s Result:  Loss.  Financial Status (-300 two-dollar win tickets)

Screw you, Milwaukee.  Hey Ryan Braun, I picked you to win the MVP.  How about returning the favor?  It also wouldn’t hurt for the Braves to lose on occasion, but Nooooo, the Brewers just lay down and get swept out of town, capping things with a 2-1 loss.  Huge surprise they lost by one run.  Mutts.

Today’s Selection:  Arizona (+120) over San Diego.

Just an awful line up of games.  When in doubt, pick against a bad team.

***

Top 10 Favorite Non-Phillies of All-Time:

  1. Larry Walker
  2. Will Clark
  3. Bo Jackson
  4. Jack Morris
  5. Mickey Tettleton
  6. Jack McDowell
  7. Fred McGriff (Pre-Braves)
  8. Todd Helton
  9. Bryce Harper
  10. Frank Thomas

***

Quiz of the Day:  Random Sports Groups of Five.  Category:  Basic Knowledge.  My Score: 58/60.

Everyone enjoy the weekend.  Gooooo Nehro!


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6 thoughts on “No Uncle Mo.

  1. 47/60…..i contend that “Snowboarding” was a BS answer. 58 is impressive.

    No use of the nickname for Fred “Crime Dog” McGriff? And fan-fcking-tastic that Harper is already top ten. I did expect a mattingly or NAils in there though.

  2. It took me a while to get snowboarding. You have to stay committed. I missed a bowl game and a tennis guy.

    I’m just so loyal that it is tough for me to like a non-philly guy. (Dykstra played here by the way). So, I had to toss Harper in, it was getting a little thin at the bottom there.

    I’d say Mattingly is probably (excluding Mickey Mantle who doesn’t really count) a top Yankee for me…whatever that means. Not top-10 but I didn’t hate the guy and he had a good nickname.

  3. yeah, RIP Seve.

    in unrelated news, I probably could’ve nailed that trifecta if i didn’t have calvin borel bias.

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