This post is going to sound frivolous, but I think it is pretty important. It’s important to me, at least. The other day I arrived home with a box of Town House crackers, an occasion for me that is not much different from Christmas. Town House crackers are so good, and I love them with peanut butter. The Town House is no Wheat Thin, it’s a delicate cracker, light and buttery. It says it right there on the package. Now with extra Gordo! Anyway, the crackers aren’t packed haphazardly like a box of Wheat Thins. They are contained in four separate sleeves to maintain their integrity and freshness. Personally, I don’t have to worry too much about the freshness part, but I appreciate the crackers keeping to themselves before I partake.
So, I open the box and to my horror a large percentage of my crackers have been broken to some degree. The sleeves are already filled with crumbs, I see cracks, sad looking cracker bits all over the place…how the bleep am I going to put peanut butter on that? I was in a rage. Who did this to my crackers? Keep in mind that I may have caused this damage myself, though I like to think someone else is to blame. Some stock boy was playing fast and loose with my Town House crackers and now I am paying the price. As I am contemplating using peanut butter for cracker re-constructive surgery, I glance over and see a bag of Tostitos on the counter. I then notice the nice little window in front that allows me to see some of the contents.
I realize right then how important that window is, it’s really a genius piece of packaging. Because people love to peek at things. Food, circus freaks, it doesn’t really make a difference. If an opportunity to peek presents itself, you can bet your ass that someone is peeking. I love to look into my Tostitos window before I buy them. Can I detect an especially good bag of Tostitos? I like to think that I can, but the important thing is that I have the opportunity to do so. No such luck with my Town House crackers. If some kid grabbed a bag off the shelf, tossed them into the aisle only to have his unsuspecting mother trample them with the grocery cart…the proof will be in the window. Crackers I find out when I am already back at home.
I’m a little surprised that people haven’t insisted on being able to open every single little thing before they buy it. It’s like corn on the cob. You used to have to be psychic to buy corn on the cob. You’d feel it, you’d examine the corn silk, and then you’d take the plunge. Then, people started peeking. Getting a look at that corn before they paid top-dollar. The area around the corn bin looked like a hair salon during a broom strike…aka, a hot mess. Finally, everyone caved in and just started putting trash bins by the corn and let people shuck that nonsense on-site. If the cost of doing business is some raunchy ears left behind, then so be it.
I guess I could just start opening boxes of crackers. I mean, who is going to stop me, really? There’s no laws in a grocery store. I feel like I could do a cannon ball into the grapefruit display and it would be all good, especially if I threatened to take my business down the pike. I’m not going to open the boxes. I’m just saying that I could. And, I wish they had a window.
Chase Utley starting a rehab assignment with Clearwater on Tuesday Night.
MLB Underdog of the Day. Yesterday’s Result: Loss. Financial Status: (-$800).
Someone finally showed some interest in the old underdog of the day. Turns out it was just another bet against theorist, but we’ve tried that one too. I think we are creeping up on finally realizing that you can’t make money gambling on sports. Last night, an especially typical extra-inning, 1-run defeat. And, so it goes.
Today’s Selection: Toronto (+140) over Boston.
Quiz of the Day: Mitch Hedberg Jokes. Category: Reading. My Score: Null Set.
Take this one if you want, I just clicked on the answers and then read them all. Good times.