And, The World Ran Out of Kazaam Jokes.

Where Will Shaq Turn Up Next?

I guess it is a shame that when I heard Shaq was retiring my first thought was, “oh yeah, he did play this year.”  Shaq put a beating on his career averages the last couple of seasons in truly Shaq fashion.  Not many players would admit they were tarnishing their legacy by trying to cherry pick an extra title or two.  Maybe Shaq realized that when it all boils down, the first thing people will say is that he won four rings.  Five, or six would have sounded even better, no matter the role he played on those final teams.

The greatest thing about Shaquille O’Neal was that he did whatever he wanted, and never blinked at the criticism.  You think he doesn’t know his rap albums were awful?  Or what about that video game, Shaq Fu?  Shaq was all about flexing his muscle. He’s probably sitting there thinking, can I get a video game made called Shaq Fu?  So, he tries it and pulls it off, just because he was Shaq.  The guy was such a character that I think some people will forget how dominant he was.  The nicknames, the sound bites, and of course, Kazaam, are all attached to his resume along with some astonishing numbers. The guy was a physical force of nature.

Not sure what will be next for the big fella, but I know we’re going to see him somewhere.  I don’t think Shaq is capable of fading away.  He’s like Hulk Hogan.  He’ll have a reality show.  Or, he’ll be in someone’s studio, but I think Shaq will always be around.  The real question is, can he gain weight faster than Charles Barkley?

***

And, on the First Day of June, God said, “You Need a Goalie.”

I didn’t watch all of the hockey game last night.  In fact, I missed the majority of it, but when I did turn it on, it became a dizzying display of elite goaltending.  Tim Thomas at the start of the 3rd period had me scratching my head, and Roberto Luongo was making brilliant saves at well.  It made me think there might not be a truer axiom in sport than you need a goalie to win the Stanley Cup.  Sure, last year wasn’t a great example, but there will always be exceptions.  But more so than a quarterback winning a Super Bowl, or a lights-out bullpen locking down a World Series, or defense winning an NBA Title, I think you must have a goalie.  Look at the play that had to come together last night to get one goal on the board.  I hope the Flyers were watching.

***

Hilariously Bad Betting, Day 9.  

I think I missed the under by double digits last night, which is hard to do in any sport, let alone baseball.  There were plenty of unders to choose from yesterday too, and I just, well, did not pick the right game.  Kyle Drabek, I thought we were friends.  You are no Vance Worley, Sir.

Today’s Selection:  Seattle and Tampa Under 6.5

Big Game James Shields and the King.  When you are backed into a corner, you have to go New Chalk City.

***

Wanted to get that out there, because this will probably be my only post of the day.  Oh, playing golf on this fine humidity-free day?  Nope, going to the Devon Horse Show.  Where Champions Meet.  Perhaps you’ve heard of it.  More than likely, you haven’t.  It gives the aristocracy a chance to rub elbows with me.  If there was a list of people who had spent the most time at horse shows without ever actually riding a horse, I might be at the top of that list.  I am bursting at the seams with equine knowledge, which almost no one would suspect and that allows me to look smarter than I actually am.  The Devon Horse Show is really a triumph of Main Line pomp and circumstance mixed in with horse people, who are an interesting bunch.  Back in the day, my favorite part of the show was the midway, and more specifically, “The Birthday Game.”

The Birthday Game was simple.  You put 50 cents on a square that had a month or holiday on it, and then someone tossed a 20-sided die/ball into a little pit.  If the month or holiday you picked came up, you won.  Simple and yet, for a carnival game, shockingly straight-forward and fair.  They had a great guy working the mic, too.  He’d say, “Step right up, come right in, you’re just in time for this one.  It’s the Birthday Game, the Anniversary Game.  It’s half a buck to try your luck, the ball does the rest.”  He would say this 1.3 million times a day.  Anyway, the Birthday Game doesn’t exist anymore.  Total horse bleep.

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10 thoughts on “And, The World Ran Out of Kazaam Jokes.

  1. That games was awesome to watch. Is it me, or has Vancouver looked significantly bigger than every team they’ve played? They look like effing monsters out there.

  2. Vancouver put some really nice sequences together. I only really saw the 3rd period, but it seemed like a matter of time before they scored. Boston had some good chances too, though.

  3. I saw the second period and spent most of the time remarking to myself about how much more fun it was to watch than the NBA finals. For the amount of action in the second period it was really surprising that no one scored. I thought the goalies were great, but the defensemen in particular were throwing themselves in front of shots. Everytime Sedin wound up to shoot the Bruins suddenly had four goalies on the ice. Same was true on the other end as well.

  4. Also a factor was that the defensemen on both sides were not letting anyone set up in front of the goalie. So there were a lot of shots and a lot of hits, but no one was in position to the screen the goalie and not many shots were getting all the way through.

  5. wow, well I don’t know how comprehensive I can get. It wasn’t the most exciting afternoon of action over at Devon.

    We went to see one class.

    There was the usual amount of waiting. Grabbed some french fries (quite good), re-confirmed that the Midway is a sad imitation of what it once was.

    saw some interesting outfits.

    heard a guy who was displeased with a bit of judging claim (mostly jokingly I think) that he was screwed by the yankees and compared the show to Gettysburg (pronounced Gettis-burg). That was a good time.

    but, other than that, just another day at the show.

  6. yeah, i think the Yankees comment takes a close second to the chick and horse face, couples glamour shot featured outside a barn that looked more like a film trailor than place for horses to chill-out??

    well, 3-Putt, if you ever wondered if you had superior knowledge…you sure know a lot about horse bleep.

    way to go. maybe you should be a horse show educator? do some school based enrichment programs. you could call yourself Grey Horse, if that doesn’t work for you, try Gray Horse.

    Q

  7. ps, what is a midway, exactly? and why is it called that?

    pps, best horse name, according to 3-Putt?

    i think best one i’ve heard so far…well, it’s a tie…

    “Hay Jude,” and “Drum Roll Please.”

    Q

  8. no, no, i’m really interested in the best horse name 3-Putt has come across, over his illustrious career as horse show bystander?

    q

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