B.Y.O.M.

Porterhouse. The Meat, Not the Locker Room Attendant.

Remember on Seinfeld when Kramer had the idea for the place where you make your own pizza?  He ended up getting into a big fight with Poppie about what you could put on a pizza and as far as I know, the place never got off the ground.  It really wasn’t a great idea.  People like to do-it-yourself, but no one wants to leave the house to do that.  Or, do they?  Here’s a current dilemma in my life.  Almost everyone I know lives in an apartment.  Granted, I don’t know many people, but the fact remains, not a single person I hang out with on a regular basis has a grill.  Or, a yard for that matter.  Unlucky. Especially in prime grilling season.  So, I’m wondering why there isn’t a B.Y.O.M. (The M stands for meat, but if you didn’t get that, it’s probably time to stop reading this post.)

Now, you might say that your average park has set-ups for grilling.  To that, I respond, “That’s not AT ALL what I’m talking about.”  Also, that’s charcoal, you’re all at a park and it’s just not what I’m talking about, ok?  Here’s what I’m picturing:

If you’ve ever been in some kind of luxury box at a sporting event, that’s the general idea.  There’d be some type of general building, maybe a bar or restaurant that could stay open all year round, even when the people weren’t in the mood to grill. But, shooting off of this would be several private “grilling cabins.”  I’ve committed to the term Grilling Cabin (patent pending), so deal with it.  These private areas would have an indoor/outdoor spread.  Inside you’ve got the standard TV, bar area, maybe a kegerator, maybe some have a gaming table of some kind, a poker table (It’s all custom, baby!).  Then there’s a little patio/deck portion that houses your gas grilling unit.  That’s why you’re there, after all, to char some meat. Shooting off the patio is a little grassy yard, maybe it’s field turf, but it could be set up for bocce, or volleyball, or horseshoes, perhaps it is also bring your own cornhole…you can go any direction you want, bring a pony for all I care.

So, the next time Saturday afternoon rolls around and you want to cook-out and watch the game you rent yourself a grilling cabin.  And, even if you do know someone who has a grill, this eliminates all the fuss, all the clean-up, it’s easy-in, easy-out, just like the DMV.  To top it all off, if you are really lazy, you don’t even have to have your own food.  Maybe you shoot onto the internet and stock your grilling station from the restaurants cooler.  If you tend to burn things, maybe you rent a grill maestro to cook your lunch for you while you pretend to be good at horseshoes or pretend to know the rules of bocce.  Think of something with no possibilities and then think of the exact opposite.  That’s this idea.  Grilling Cabins.  You saw it here first.

***

Quiz of the Day:  Which Came First.  Category: Jimmy Rollins or the Pop-Up.  My Score: 17/20.

***

Random Movie Recommendation:  I finally saw True Grit (The New One) the other day.  It’s very good.  If you can handle some unlucky things happening to a horse or two, it’s a real solid flick, with unexpectedly funny dialog.  The Dude’s career just keeps getting more impressive.  Also, somewhat related, I see a guy sometimes when I am out for a jog who looks like the Dude mixed with a bird-watcher.  Put the Dude in some khaki utility shorts and a pair of hiking boots and it’s separated at birth.  I’d love to get his picture, but don’t know how to go about something like that.  Probably need an accomplice.

***

Everyone enjoy the weekend.  With any luck, we’ll get back into the 80s.  I’ll see you all at the Grilling Cabin.

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17 thoughts on “B.Y.O.M.

  1. Not quite the exclusive atmosphere you envision, but there’s some grill your own food places. I haven’t been there in years, and the website looks like it also hasn’t been updated in years, so they might be closed down now… but – http://www.tikibarpa.com/

    • oh god, and there’s this AWFUL AND DUMB place in boston called “Fire and Ice.” I immediately distrust people if they like that place.

      q

  2. yeah, obviously i did no research to see if this existed. i don’t see any bocce there, though.

    but, the whole post was worth it just for that link.

    wow, that might be the worst website I’ve ever seen.

  3. I assume that Schwenksville is not the location you had in mind for the Grilling Cabins? I can only imagine that the customer base for the Tiki Bar is (1) escapees from Graterford prison (2) accomplices of escapees from Graterford prison (3) Ursinus undergrads (4) Pottsgrove HS graduates formerly known as “Lackey.”

    Also, I pulled a LeBron on the quiz. Going along great and then missed the last four in a row to finish with a loss, 15/20.

  4. grilling cabins and boxes…liability issue for the owners? i dunno.

    um, in other food news…you must chill your wawa iced brewed tea for 2 hours before hitting a drinkable cold temp. the ice doesnt even help.

    i was appaulled.

    Q

  5. i mean, the grill is outside.

    cabin is term to make you feel special, feel like you are getting your money’s worth.

  6. okay. i like it.
    what about how people hire dj’s…you could hile 3-Putt as a professional griller…

    call yourself Grill God.

    boom. two genius ideas in 24 hours.

    maybe that was my third. I’m losing track

    IN OTHER PHENOMENAL NEWS…
    so my coworker’s friend has a son who pulled this engagement thing off at what appears to be the Grand Prix night at Devon, this year. It’s so tackiliscious. i’m shocked Devon allowed this…though they also allow dogs in tuxes in that ring…

    • in the interest of the stringent equestrian accuracy we maintain around here, I am forced to break the news that what are you seeing is not the Grand Prix, but in fact is the hunt teams…which runs a close 2nd to the Family Class in the excitement category.

      • um, you’re out of control hilarious. i’m so lucky to know such a knowledge base. well, i was kind of shocked that crap like this would go down at Grand Prix.
        so, basically, Devon would endorse such a scene to compensate for the otherwise monotonous evening? q

      • the hunt teams is actually quite interesting given the prospect that almost anything can happen…you have to see it to understand, and there’s some distinguished names on that family class trophy.

  7. Each show is different and it really depends on whos booking it and
    for the bigger shows with celebrities and bands they need a lot of lead-time.
    If I knew how to bake cookies, I would do that and send over a care package but
    Im much better at telling jokes so I go there
    and entertain, shake hands and thank the men and women who serve our country.

    He represented his homeland in four Olympics and is a three-time indoor world champ in the
    1500 meters.

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