After the long weekend, I’m not sure that my brain is ready to handle to handle a full post, so I’m going ease myself back in with a collection of abbreviated thoughts. Even for me, the 3-day weekend is a bit of a mind-blower. It is Tuesday. I just double checked my phone for that. Anyway, since last weekend the following has crossed my mind:
Aren’t fireworks shows really just a big leap of faith? You are counting on the grand finale. That is what brings the people out. I’m sure if there was some type of malfunction with the finale that the mood of the crowd would change in an instant. Something would get blown up, because that is what the people came out to see. I was watching fireworks last night and at first you get excited to see them, but then you get into a this lull of one or two fireworks at a time. It’s a little repetitive, you’re thinking have I really been watching this for 25 minutes? And then, BOOM. The grand finale, and you once again are the happiest person in the world, and it is so totally, totally worth it. Heaven help the municipality that messes up the big finish.
I’d like to start a petition to expunge the term, “walk-off,” from the baseball lexicon. Or, any other sport it has penetrated. I don’t think I can bear hearing it one more time. Perhaps you heard that Monday there was a, “walk-off balk.” Sports announcers get irrationally amused when they get to use this term, or, “walk-off walk.” That’s a classic, as well. The word is killed. Perhaps in its infancy you could make an argument for, “walk-off homer,” but now it is that term that so many people use in so many instances that it couldn’t possibly still be cool. Not that the cool factor has anything to do with it, it’s all false hype. There’s nothing exciting about a walk-off balk. There’s no need to scream “Walk-off BALK!” into the mic, or anything like that. What’s the proper call for a walk-off balk? Here: “Did he just? Yeah, he did. He balked. Royals Lose. What a sh*t show.”
Bryce Harper Update? Bryce Harper Update. We’re a little worried over here at Team Bryce. Since his well executed blown kiss there has been a fretful drop in production for America’s favorite eye-blacked phenom. Harper saw his average plummet about 40 points, and he stopped hitting homers, but yesterday he still earned a promotion to AA Harrisburg. He started off his Eastern League career with a little 2 for 3. Now, there was a very brief period in my life where I watched a lot of Eastern League baseball. This included a very fleeting interlude with Harrisburg’s Vladimir Guerrero. Double-A baseball was a complete waste of Vlady’s time. I can say that with some certainty. How will Harper fare? Well, there’s only one way to find out, and that’s to kick up the Bryce Harper road trip machine, again. Who’s in? Reading? Trenton? Anyone?
Vance Worley is inspiring a hell of a, “Flash in the Pan Trade Bait/Future Number 3 Starter,” debate in Philly. Every time I see someone like Worley come up, I think Brandon Duckworth. Or, J.A. Happ. My inclination with guys who emerge from the minors to baffle big league hitters for a spell is to immediately sell high. We should all be thankful the Phillies shipped off Happ, regardless the condition of Oswalt’s back. Happ screamed that he was eventually going to get hit, but Worley isn’t so obvious with his lack of stuff. He’s not Kendrickian. He also seems to have a reasonable amount of confidence which manifests itself in both good ways (doesn’t panic out there) and bad (the mohawk). The Phillies couldn’t move Vance until Blanton or Oswalt came back, if not both of them. For me, if someone was dangling a real, live right-handed hitter in front of my face, it’d be tempting. I have a feeling Vance has won a lot of hearts, though.
Everyone should know by now that the most powerful combination in the world is vanilla and chocolate. Personally, I am a slave to this combination. Buying ice cream? Oh, I’ll take the vanilla and chocolate. Soft serve? Swirl that sh*t, Skippy. Black and white shake? Uh, Yesssir. But, also when I am eating chocolate cake I prefer to have a little bit of vanilla at the dance. Some people will swear by chocolate cake and chocolate icing. Me? I like that vanilla icing, but if it is going chocolate/chocolate you’ve got to set that off with some vanilla ice cream. My mother used to call this, “cutting the sweetness.” You know your mom is on top of things when she says, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. That’s too much chocolate. Take some vanilla ice cream.” So, I’m just saying, respect the power of the combo. I’d also like to hear from anyone who likes chocolate cake/chocolate icing/chocolate ice cream. That’s just pure balls.