Came Across Something

Tiger's Got An Opening To Fill.

 

***ANSWER KEY***

Tiger Woods International

Application for Employment

Name:

Position: Caddy/Alibi Machine

Dates Available:

Compensation: $5,000 a week plus 7.5% of all earnings.

Section One: Word Association

1. Stevie Williams—Traitor

2. Bill Macatee—Functionally Retarded

3. Hank Haney—Ungrateful C-word

4. Elin Nordegren—Still Hot

5. Phil Mickelson’s Career—Cute

6. Ambien—Recreational

7. Achilles Heel—Achilles

8. Fire Hydrants—Shifty

9. Fad—European Golf

10. Neighbor’s Daughter—In Play

Section Two: Y/N

1. Do You Have Sisters (Y)

2. Have You Ever Been Called Oblivious (Y)

3. Do You Have Superhuman Hearing (Y)

4. Does Your Cell Phone Have a Camera (N)

5. Have You Ever Been in A Fight (Y)

6. Is Your Significant Other Friends With Elin (N)

7. Do You Have Personal Goals (N)

8. Can You Keep A Secret (Y)

9. It’s Always Your Fault (Y)

10. Everyone will Pay For This (Y)

 

 

 

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21 thoughts on “Came Across Something

  1. i was also struck by section 10…3-Putt, is this your personal ap? cause the name was missing but the answers excellent.

    um, so, is In Play same as Fair Play?

    and how relevant would gender be? and is that relatively speaking – ie, female with broad shoulders and a size boobs v. female with 36 24 36?

    Q

    • oh, i’m such a bad reader. you know that:( but what about the “in play,” i dont get it. like fair play??

      Q

      • Well, I don’t know what you mean by fair play. The answer key implies that it’s OK to try to engage the neighbor’s daughter in R-rated activities.

  2. when all this happened people were talking about whether Stevie knew about it all along, and I think everyone assumed he did. The way this played out, I’m not so sure. Just their increasing awkwardness on the course, it kind of feels like Stevie probably lost some respect for Tiger and it kind of drove them apart slowly. Their wives were friends, it had to be super awkward, and I think it would have been less so if Stevie knew all along. Ok, they get caught, but the dynamic wouldn’t have really changed, but in this case it clearly did.

    • Stevie is a whiny d-bag. Waahhhhhh, i wasted two years of my life. Ok, gimme back my money. He made MILLIONS off Woods, and the only reason this is a story or anyone even knows who stevie williams is, is bc of Tiger Woods. This is an employee-employer relationship, Tiger is clearly trying a lot of different things to get his game back, and you got the axe. Welcome to life Williams, drink it in. And I love the “i stood by his side when my friends were questioning me, i was loyal” angle. Were you loyal, or greedy? B/c to me it looks like you enjoyed the lifestyle and didn’t want to wander out to another less paying job. Not like you were the only guy either, there’s a gentleman at Nike who would like a word….

      • Stevie is coming across a bit jilted, but pretty much anything short of total silence and he’s going to sound a bit like whiner.

        All I can say is I’ve heard Tiger hasn’t been paying him during his time away for injury or other reasons. So, in the last two years I don’t think Stevie has made much from Tiger, but obviously in the decade prior to that he made a mint. Those race cars don’t pay for themselves, though.

        I think every caddy in the world though, from the lifer at the local club to Steve Williams has a similar mentality about money–they don’t think about the loop they just had, they look at it as losing money now. So, he got tired of missing out on easy paychecks, took Scott for a few weeks and the rest is history.

      • I don’t see how Tiger really expected Stevie to stick around when he wasn’t getting paid. It would be different if he were paying him a salary, but, he wasn’t.

      • Well, Tiger is obviously a megalomaniac of sorts. And cheap.

        I’m sure when it all started there wasn’t much thought given to keeping him on salary, because he thought all would be well and good in no time.

        A normal person probably realizes they are putting Steve in a bit of an awkward spot, but Tiger still thinks his bag is unquestionably the best bag. And, maybe it is, but you at least have to play for that to be true.

      • But don’t you find it a little disingenuous for him to all of a sudden act appalled at Tiger’s actions and claim he was the only loyal person. Like he was in the media defending the guy. All i remember is him saying tiger had to earn back his respect. Not really going to bat for him in my eyes.

        His retrospective self righteousness is i think what bothers me. He wants to play martyr, and now he wants to say Tiger is a bad guy…..but you’ve known him for how long?

      • well, i don’t think he’s all of a sudden acting appalled. he’s got to stay quiet while they’re still together and it’s not like he can come out as pro-adultery. Now, he’s basically just answering questions, I’m not really getting a preachy vibe.

        no one is ever happy to be fired, regardless of the circumstances. he has to take it personally on some level, and i think we’re getting some backlash from that, but I don’t think he’s being excessively whiny or petty.

        it’s like they said on Seinfeld, there’s no such thing as a mutual break-up.

      • Seems like sour grapes to me, some excerpts:

        “My name should have been cleared immediately,” Williams said. “It wasn’t and that’s what makes it even more disappointing what’s transpired [recently].” He indicated that the revelation of Woods’ transgressions set off what he called “the most difficult period of my life,” and his decision to stick by Woods met with considerable criticism from friends. “I, along with a lot of people, lost a lot of respect for Tiger and I pointed out before his return at the Masters at Augusta in 2010 that he had to earn back my respect,” Williams said. “Through time I hope he can gain my respect back. He definitely needs to earn my respect again, that’s for sure.”

      • Hank Haney has kind of set the gold standard for sour grapes though. Stevie’s not at that level yet.

      • I just don’t think anyone would be quiet in this situation. Your natural reaction to getting fired is to defend yourself a little bit, and I think that’s what he’s doing.

  3. Easy everyone.

    Sometimes it’s just better to let the innuendo sit in the caption.

    Let’s not make it weird.

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