Pull-Throughs, DeSean, Happy Hour Prep.

Pull-Through-Gasm.

The day is coming.  I’m going to be pulling into a parking space and someone is going to crash into me head-on while they try to execute the beloved pull-through.  I feel like this is a suburban phenomenon, because cities lack the spacious lots that such lazy parking requires.  Apparently most modern SUV, Minivans and Toyota Camrys do not operate in reverse. You can never back into a spot, and you can never back out of a spot.  Perhaps pulling into a crowded parking lot should become part of the driving test.  I had to park my car properly during the middle of my test, but that was after the guy told me that I had failed.   (The defroster is on, A-Hole!)

I’m not going to say I don’t pull through, because I do on some occasions.  If the lot looks like the one above, go right ahead, but in a high-traffic lot you are really asking for trouble.  And, I certainly don’t get any satisfaction from doing the maneuver.  I don’t pull-through and then quietly fist pump in my car because I don’t have to back out.  It’s gotten to the point where I almost want someone to crash into me.  Then, I can get out the car, and just start clapping.  Nice job, mouth-breather, now hand over that insurance info.  Of course, the person probably wouldn’t be insured, they’d throw it into reverse (oh look, it does work) and I’d be left there holding my nonsense.  The moral of the story is, what happened to those concrete blocks that separated the spaces?

***

Speaking of things that drive me crazy, I hate people who call into sports talk and give their athletic resumes.  Especially when it gets into some technical discussion.  There is an unwritten rule debate going on over Jimmy Rollins stealing 2nd up 8-2 against SF.  It’s likely what got Victorino plunked.  You can argue both sides on this one.  If the Giants are holding Jimmy on in just the 6th inning, it’s not outrageous to steal, but I also can see why he got hit.  But, when this happens, everyone wants to be the expert.  The same thing happens in these hockey grey areas when someone gets throttled, or they are discussing fighting etiquette.

What these people don’t realize is that no one is impressed if you were the 5th outfielder on Pat Burrell’s legion team.  And, no one cares if you spent the summer of ’98 playing for the Atlantic City Surf.  And, no one cares of you played 3rd base for Widener, played slot receiver for Gettysburg, or were the star defenseman on Penn State’s 2003 Club Hockey National Champions.  None of that gives you an air of authority.  It just makes you sound like an idiot.  You know back in Little League we stopped advancing on a pass ball if we were up by more than 5 runs, except the kids who thought they were actually “stealing bases,” they just went anyway to pad the stats.  Shut Up.

***

DeSean’s back.  Jackson is an important piece of the Eagles offense.  Even if there are games where he totally disappears, you have to think he’s opening up the field for someone else.  They need him out there, because the big play is becoming the Eagles offense, and DeSean usually is good to flip a game or two a year on his own.  The return of DeSean got me thinking about the Eagles offense in terms of fantasy football.  It might be the most volatile, risk/reward group in the league.  DeSean is a guy who can just as easily catch 6 balls for 150 yards as he can catch 1 for 17.  Even ignoring the injury factor I have a hard time thinking 2010 wasn’t Michael Vick’s career year.  Shady McCoy should put up 1st round production, but do you trust him?  I guess I’m just a baby and want sure things.  You need a little heart to pick an Eagle. Who’s their safest bet?

***

Saw Crazy, Stupid Love.  It’s a nice little movie.  Emma Stone is really adorable.  I’m fearing that Amy Adams’s career may have peaked.  Sorry, Amy.  And, there are other good performances, a little turn here a twist there…but I don’t want to ruin anything.  The real story is, I don’t think I like Steve Carell anymore.  He’s…not a good actor?  Or, I just can’t get over the fact that he’s had a hair transplant.

I Mean, Come On.

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13 thoughts on “Pull-Throughs, DeSean, Happy Hour Prep.

  1. EMMA STONE IS REALLLLLLLLLLLLL ADORABLE! Emily Turnbell adorable. And Ryan G would maybe be a decent Lucas. They should remake that MISS PA classic! Q

  2. and i dunno, i think Carrell is sort of – just what he’s hired to be – an everyman that people have mixed feelings…ie, should we accept idio- and medio- cracies.

    Q

  3. Ok, so i’ll try and relay this story shortly. I went golfing back during march madness 2010 (I think, maybe 2011) with Sean, Dan (who 3-putt has met) and Sean brought along his sister in law’s fiance who was “a scratch golfer”-which was of course a gross, insane exaggeration. Not even close. Anyway, after wards we go to a bar to watch what i think was the pre-cursor to the Duke game, maybe WVU. Doesn’t matter. We get into a discussion about Kyle Singler-who i can’t stand- and dasean butler. I insist Butler is the better player, he goes with singler. So we’re going back and forth and i’m relatively calm until he sets me off with the following comment:
    “Well, i should know who’s better, i played high level AAU basketball…..”——(exasperated face by me)

    Ok, so several things: One, this kid is from upstate NY. Let’s not get crazy about the “high level” of the AAU. Not like he had kids from Christ the King and Rice and what not. Two, as you talk about WHO THE EFF CARES???? I think i literally made the comment “well, i played on an 8th grade travel team, so i guess i know what i’m talking about.” It completely set me off. I hate it, loathe that commentary. How does your playing on a glorified high school team in anyway qualify you to judge talent? Coaches at the highest levels get talent judging wrong (Morrison, Adam….) but you think your playing experience at 15 when you sat the bench brings you credence?

  4. haha..

    that’s a pretty good one. AAU basketball.

    also, the number of times the “scratch golfer” you are supposed to play with is actually scratch, I’d put at about 1 in 8.

    I think some people don’t even know what it means. My pops and I got paired with two random people once and I was playing all right, hit some big drives, made a birdie or two, but shot a couple over on a very, very easy front nine. we’re walking off the green and this lady like whispers to me, “are you like, a scratch golfer?” Like she was asking if I had any weed. Um, lady I just shot 38 on the front nine of a course with 68.7 rating. No, I’m definitely NOT a scratch golfer.

      • oh, thanks Crow. um so translation – like 3-Putt and scratchers are good? Crow, i’d be like a handicap 88. really, i’d just walk off the putting green. call it a (cussin) hole.

        QQ

      • back in the salad days, I had some dalliances with 0.0, but the only real, true scratch golfer that I think we’ve ever had visit here is everyone’s favorite Donovan McNabb fan, Big Dub.

      • Chad has to be getting pretty close these days, from what i hear. Not that he posts here, just anecdotal.

  5. What of course made it sting worse was i think i made a weird bet about points in the Duke/WVU game by them or who would be drafted higher, so i lost the bet. Still think that comment is the most absurd “bolstering” of an argument i’ve ever heard.

    Yeah, the guy golfed in college, and we know Sean is prone to embellishment at times. On the 3rd hole, a short par 3, straight ahead, no trouble and this was a low low LOW end pub course so distance was maybe 150 tops…..and this “Scratch golfer” missed the green. I grabbed Sean and basically told him never to use the term scratch golfer again in my presence. People mishit balls, but this was an ocean sized green 150 yards away. He was obviously a good golfer, much, much, much better than me and much better than average, but scratch is a pretty impressive thing.

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