Rain Dampens Outfits, Not Spirits, at JSO.

Outfit Approved At Pickering Valley and Wimbledon.

The third annual Jean Short Open might become known for the year it rained the last three holes.  It might become known as the year Haas was resplendent in all white.  But, no matter what the lasting memories will be, each year plays out in a slightly different manner and has its own feel.  This year was no different.  It brought perhaps our highest level of actual golf, the usual classic moments, and without a doubt the best outfits ever.  Let’s summarize.

The Unveiling.

Every year the JSO opens with the “outfit reveal.”  This is usually the funniest 15 minutes of the day when we are in a nice safe place and don’t have to be burdened with shame and embarrassment.  I always seem to be the first one to go, because it is assumed I will have the worst and least funny outfit.  That was probably true again this year although I tried to step it up with the 2XL Big and Tall Eagles Shirt (Officially Licensed).  I thought I was upping my game, and in fact was so mortified buying this I actually left the store once, only to give myself a pep-talk and go back inside to spend the $7.99. We got a good laugh, but as usual, I was quickly outdone.

Are Those Denim Chuck Taylors? Yeah, They Are.

I mentioned on the ride over that last year I wasn’t even that embarrassed walking into the golf shop.  Rand made sure to remedy that situation this year with this ensemble.  It’s all about level of commitment, and obviously Rand takes pride in his staunch JSO record.  Whether you preferred this, or Haas’ all-white masterpiece is a matter of taste, but I made sure I was lagging well behind when we got to the course.  For the third straight year, no employee of the golf course so much as blinked at us.  But, I feel like we set a personal best for odd looks from other golfers.  In somewhat related news, Pickering was in awful shape, but the 1st green remains the 6th trickiest putting surface in the state of Pennsylvania.

The Championship Buckle.

This year, by fate, we added a little wrinkle.  In the procuring of outfits, Rand and Haas both ended up with identical Coors Light belt buckles.  These things happen.  I think we are getting closer to an official sponsorship from Coors Light, but regardless of that, we decided that the winning team would take the two buckles, earning the right to wear them in next year’s event.  I can’t wait to don mine in 2012.

The Losing Team.

Let’s get to the actual action.  Some memorable moments…

The Third Hole:

We have special events for all the par 3s.  On the 2nd, if you are closest to the pin or farthest away you must drink a beer. At that point in the round, it should be a pretty innocuous event, but I made the fatal mistake of not eating enough before the round.  Between our pregame beer in the parking lot, my first social and my reward for having my tee shot on 2 repelled into the nothingness by the steep hill left of the green I was playing with fire.  I was feeling it a bit on the 3rd tee, but managed a good drive.  As we approached the ball, I thought to myself, I’m a little drunk.  I offered the following quote, “I need an order of pancakes.  I’m kind of sh*t-faced right now.”  By the 5th fairway, I had my bearings again.

6th Hole:

The 6th hole is a par-three we play using only our putters.  It measures about 200 yards, so it’s no pushover.  We also play a shamble, so each team goes to the best tee shot and plays in from there.  On six, our opponents sprayed their shots in opposite directions.  We thought they were going to play one ball, so we picked up the other and headed toward the green. As it turned out, they changed their minds.  So, up by the green, Rand yelled in their general direction, then sent the ball back with his wedge.  It was one of the most accurate shots of his life.  Tracking all the way, the mystery man froze like a deer, couldn’t get out of the way, and took a one-hopper off his shoe.  It happens.

The Turn:

One of the more interesting parts of the day is the food order at the turn.  Unfortunately, the grill was closed.  If it is closed at 3 pm on a Saturday, when is it open?  Anyway, this kept Rand from ordering the first cheesesteak in PVGC history.  The tally ended up something like: Safety sixer of Coors Light, 3 bags of ice, 4 dogs, Toastee Crackers, Sourdough Specials, some Hot Sauce chips(?), and other assorted goods.  Somehow I forgot to order my Twix bar.  Still a little upset about that.

Other Highlights:

I parred the 16th ( a 150 yard par three over a pond) using only my driver.  This included what was most likely the best “chip” I’ve ever hit.  Rolled up a no-brainer to about 2 feet.  The par closed out the match, 4&2.

Rand spent a good portion of the round trying to hit his tee shot off an empty Coors Light can.  On the 17th, we finally relented.  It went a bit right.

As always, there was a bonus for “special” shots.  Haas hit two memorable ones.  First, double hitting an iron shot from the fairway (didn’t know that was possible) and then nearly piercing Rand’s ear with a skulled flop shot attempt from next to the 9th green.

I Jinxed the Weather.

Perhaps you remember me mouthing off about the weather.  Well, that 10% chance of a shower turned into about 100% with a few holes left.  Not sure what Haas is doing in this picture, but I’m about to launch a drive on the easiest par-5 in the World.  I’m not sure what the scorecard says, but I hit driver-SW.  By the time we got to the 18th, everyone was pretty well soaked, and we were reminded exactly how uncomfortable denim can be when wet.

I think that about covers it for the year.  Unfortunately, we didn’t get the greatest pictures this year.  We were a little rushed out there.  Next year, I’m going to be sure to get a shot of the feast we partake in after the round.  It’s just a troubling amount of food.  I’m sure my fellow players will be happy to fill in a few details that I missed.  See everyone next year.



19 thoughts on “Rain Dampens Outfits, Not Spirits, at JSO.

  1. well that was a pretty good recap. Haz’s outfit looks much better via picture than in person, it was awful in person, and of course i mean that in a good way. i was actually using a little knock down 6 iron when i hit the “black box” JSO participant…but hands down most accurrate shot of my life.

    in other news i was hoping to get an update from 3PT’s own VT corespondant, DC, as to whether there was mass rioting after Woodstock took home the PGA trophy?

    • you and Haas photograph real well, Rand. i was confused when i first saw this post, kinda seemed like a remake of a morph-gatsby-brokeback mountain thing. then the coors light “medal” brought me back to reality.

      you boys do real nice work out there.

      couldn’t be prouder.

    • Apparently this guy is from everywhere. I was on vacation in MA and the Boston Globe was acting like Bradley was a Boston prep school brat who made it big. Then I get home and the local papers are acting like Bradley was a Woodstock kid who made it big. And I’m sure if you went out to Jackson Hole they would be claiming him too. All I know is HE IS PAT BRADLEY’S NEPHEW and the woman with the kid is not his wife, it is his sister. I have now exhausted my K. Bradley knowledge.

      • So the real headline should be: Generic New England Prep Schooler Has Family Ties, Finds Success. There’s a story.

      • I don’t mean to kill the guy unnecessarily. I was pulling for him. Here’s a young American player winning a major championship by making shots when it counts. It’s a big deal. Hopefully he can validate.

      • Last clarification: I’m making fun of the media coverage, not the player. I need either more or less coffee.

      • DC, couple things…always go for more coffee til ya crash (that’s my advice, 3-Putt may debate that). UM, forgot this part of headline: HAS EITHER TWO FIRST OR TWO LAST NAMES. given that he is a New Englander, I suppose the former?

        he is so spritely young, though…nice new gloss for the jaded Tiger generation. again, I know you were not putting him down, personally – i have no problems putting people down (for fun). like a roast?


      • Apparently the entire eastern seaboard has claim to the guy. NYC, Boston, DC, Charleston…..who’s next?

  2. Well, pretty interesting Rand had a six iron out by the green considering we were playing the entire hole with putters…(suspect)

    I dont really remember many additional highlights, although I do actually remember playing 18, which is a first

    None of the pictures really show that my golf shirt was an actual Coors Light golf shirt, just wanted to put that out there.

    I have no idea what I’m doing in that picture…I’m guessing rapping?

  3. haha, that’s an excellent point Crow! just concerned the person wearing the outfit lacks the confidence of just how great he looks in that 2X breed of Eagle so, well, could have an opposite sort of impact?


  4. okay, that is maybe the most amazing thing i have ever seen. i cannot get to the outfits, the moves have me too mesmerized.

    wow. how did you steal this video Putts and I made during GV Golf P.E. 1995? we had a lot of free time. no one supervised our golf strokes. obviously, no one supervised mine. didn’t even get to hear 3-Putt yelling in my ear, HEAD DOWN, HEAD DOWN YOU IDIOT.

    that’s amazing.

    what is this footage really of?

    that’s amazing. thanks for sharing.

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