Hey…I’m Back.

The Plaque for the Consolation Final Runner-Up is Behind the Maintenance Shed.

Made it back to the greater Philadelphia area.  The land of rain delayed baseball games and holding patterns.  Sadly, there was no golf trophy amongst my luggage.  It was quite a trip, though, if for nothing else the appreciation of being out-of-town the day after the Phillies give up a walk-off grand slam.  Now, there’s a moment worthy of the term walk-off. Truthfully, it was nice to get away from the constant coverage of Philly teams, the constant background noise of sports talk on the radio, and get immersed in a marathon of a golf tournament.

So, as I hinted at, I could now write title a post called, “How Not to Win a Member-Guest.”  I could also write a post called, “How to Get Carried to the Final Day by Your Partner Before Finally Waking Up.”  Either of those would probably be appropriate.  The week started with such promise.  On our second qualifying hole I ran in a birdie putt of approximately 45 feet.  I can’t remember the last time I made anything in that range.  I get excited when I lip out from about 12 feet.  To make a bomb was totally unexpected.  After a particularly solid drive and second shot on the next hole, I was quite certain we were going to win the tournament.  Then I “lagged” my birdie putt about 20 feet past the hole and things broke off piece by piece from there.

The good news was I got to witness the strong play of my partner, JCK, and while he maneuvered us through the loser’s bracket, I tried to relocate my game.  She would return, but on the 34th of a scheduled 36 hole Sunday, we fell to a par/net birdie bunter and his mildly disturbing partner who pulled off one or two tour quality shots every three or four holes.  So, I played 88 holes in four days.  Attended, for me, a year’s worth of cocktail hours and ate like a king.  It was a great time, even during my moments of shoddy play, and I even left with a story of someone sleeping overnight in the bunker by the 9th green.  These things happen.  I didn’t win anything, but at least I made it into bed each night.

With all that time on the golf course and flirting with Bud Lights and G&Ts I feel completely out of the sports loop.  For the first time all year when not in attendance or in front of a TV for a Phillies game I wasn’t fiendishly refreshing my Blackberry.  I’m so adrift, in fact, I think I need to take the rest of the day and just reintroduce myself to the internet. Read some stories.  I know plenty is going on out there.  It’s time to catch up.  But, even in my distracted state I always notice one thing, and that is horrid QB play.  In the spirit of a comment we got this morning, let’s take a quick look at some atrocious QB highlights from the pre-season.

Andy Dalton:  He’s not really going to start, is he?  I asked someone last night, is Carson Palmer still retired?  Is he going through with that?  I guess he is.  What I know about Dalton is that he got bundled by Ndamakong Suh and went 8/19 for 86 yards and 2 INTs against the Jets.  BRUCE-GRAD-KOW-SKI (clap-clap-clapclapclap).

Josh Freeman:  I spent all of last season waiting for Josh Freeman to show some signs of being Josh Freeman.  He didn’t cooperate.  His performance against New England on Thursday was heartening.  Five of ten passing for 33 yards. More importantly, they couldn’t protect him.  He was running for his life.  Will Rudy Carpenter get a start for TB this season? Maybe.

Kevin Kolb:  Kolb was everything I thought he’d be against Green Bay.  Six of eleven for 80 yards.  Kolb Fever. Catch it. More importantly he may have been outplayed by Rick Bartel, who is only slightly more qualified to play quarterback than “The Model,” Rick Martel.

David Garrard:  There’s nothing more exciting than a team with a marginal starting QB and a top-pick sitting behind him. Mr. Garrard, your days are numbered.  Blaine Gabbert will eventually get his chance.  This is, of course, win/win for DA Fantasy purposes.  Against Atlanta, Garrard was 7/12 with a pick.

Jake Locker:  If you play DA football, you should be rooting for Matt Hasselbeck to get injured.  Locker is a powder keg. He’ll be terrible.  His last effort, against St. Louis, 8/18, 82 yards and an INT, showed a ton of promise.  Of course, the emergence of Locker means the likely banishment of erstwhile DA legend, Rusty Smith.  Probably not enough snaps to go around in Tennessee for old Rusty.

That’s just a little a little taste for everyone.  Add that to the fact that Tim Tebow might get cut and Cam Newton is going to start in Carolina and we’ve got ourselves quite a little season of DA.

And, in Breaking News, Terrelle Pryor was taken in the supplemental draft by the Raiders.  Of course he was.  Watch out in week 12.


10 thoughts on “Hey…I’m Back.

  1. They probably thought they got a steal- hey, we had to draft Jamarcus with the #1 overall, we got a free 2nd 3rd rounder in 2011 to get another QB! Wait, we don’t get a 3rd rounder in 2012? What?

  2. What about Vick’s performance against Pittsburgh? Seems to me that it’s more shocking than the guys you put up, although your list is much more geared toward the DA, and I can appreciate that.

  3. oh yeah, well Vick was terrible. I think I meant to include him at first and then I think when I saw the Raiders took Pryor, I got distracted. He deserved to be mentioned. There’s plenty of worry about the Birds here in Philly. You can be rest assured about that.

  4. I’m not so sure there’s too much to worry about. After all, Rex is gonna take the Skins to the top of the NFC East, so Philly, NY and Dallas shouldn’t even worry. The division is already locked up.

  5. This is true, if the Redskins can just get out of Rex’s way, we can all fast forward to the 1st weekend in February. It’ll be a done deal.

  6. Speaking of Rex, when did he get so fat? He looks like McNabb in white skin.

    Eagles are in trouble. I’m fully convinced that they spent so much in free agency to try to hide the offensive line coach they hired as D coordinator. And if Vick’s not carrying them, game over.

  7. The giants lose thomas, so now their top 5 DBs look like: Webster (overpaid for one decent year), Ross (had lost his starting position), Grant (old safety), Phillips and Rolle. Not lighting the world on fire any time soon.

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