We’ll be 1/4 of the way through the football season after this Sunday. That seems hard to believe. Time flies when you are watching baseball. I don’t really think I’ve stumbled upon any trends or magic formulas this year. Last year there was going against the public, going with the good QBs, and all of that crap that just adds up to more losses. I’ve felt pretty good picking the games this year, and all that has gotten me is a sterling 8-7 record. When I saw the lines this week I just stared blankly for about 40 minutes waiting for something to pop. I think it’s actually going to help me, because I’ve had to dig a little bit deeper. Let’s see what we’ve got…
Grossy: Record 8-7
Patriots (-4) over Oakland. I like the Pats laying 7, I love them laying four. Normally, I wouldn’t take a team heading out to the coast to play a feisty Raiders squad, but this Raiders team isn’t very feisty on defense. Is Ronnie Lott still out there? Because, it’s going to be another Tom Brady field day. This time they only have to win by that late TD–no problem. The Raiders should have a nice day on offense, go ahead and play your Raiders in fantasy, but it’s not going to add up to a cover.
Tampa Bay (-10) over Indianapolis. There is no way, absolutely no way that the Bucs should be 10 point favorites over anyone. Oh wait, Curtis Painter is starting? That changes things. The fact that this line is so comically high just makes me that much more comfortable. What astronomical number can we set this at to get people to sample the Colts? Everyone out there should know I hate the Bucs and I hate Josh Freeman, but the Colts are on the fast track to 2-14, and are efforting Jeff George’s phone number right now.
St. Louis (+1.5) over Washington. Something doesn’t quite add up here. Isn’t St. Louis one of the worst teams in the league? Yes, they are. Well, this line tells me that Washington is also terrible and we’ll know a lot more about that after they lose this game outright to the Rams. The Rams somehow did win 7 games last year, and the ‘Skins aren’t that much different from an NFC West opponent. It’s destiny.
Arizona (+1) over New York Giants. Here’s another one that raises some questions. I’ll assume the Giants will let down, or will it just be them playing like the mediocre team that they are? The Giants might finally be what Larry Fitzgerald needs to get his life sorted out. Eli’s due for a stink bomb, going to Arizona always causes weird things to happen. It just feels right. Another outright dog winner.
Minnesota (-2.5) over Kansas City. Unlike the Rams, the Chiefs will get no salvation this week. It’s only going to get worse. This has to be the worst game on the schedule, so really, how can you not pick a winner? I think McNabb finally has his day before getting benched in week 7. Eventually the Vikings will figure it out and just give the damn ball to AP. The Chiefs don’t have anyone to give the ball to.
Big Dub H: Record, 9-5-1
What do you do after a 4-1 week? You fire away and shoot for a 1-4 week.
St. Louis (+1.5) over Washington. This is the season for St. Louis. They catch Washington coming off a short week.
Cincinnati (+3) over Buffalo. This reminds me of the Titans knocking off Baltimore. I’ll probably screw this one up too.
Minnesota (-2.5) over K.C. A team with no wins is a road favorite? Thank you, Vegas.
Dallas (-1.5) over Detroit. Detroit is getting too much love. They’re good, but they are overvalued here.
Philadelphia (-9) over S.F. San Francisco is an embarrassment. If the Eagles don’t blow this team out, I’m driving Andy, Castillo and Matthews off the Commodore Barry. At least Matthews is benched.
Kraft: Record, 6-7-2.
Detroit (+1.5) over Dallas. Textbook letdown game for the Cowboys. Big comeback, short week of preparation, their secondary has no answer for Megatron.
NE (-4) over Oakland. Bill B. doesn’t lose back-to-back games, the Raiders don’t win back-to-back games.
Baltimore (-3.5) over New York Jets. Baltimore just does everything better than the J-E-T-S. They run the ball better, they play better D, Unibrow throws it better, plus the Jets will be looking ahead to next week’s matchup against NE. What happened to that good Jets O-Line and the ground and pound running game? Call Sherman McNeil’s agent.
Carolina (+6.5) over Chicago. In Cam, I trust. In Cutler, I puke.
San Diego (-7) over Miami. Cross-country trip, Miami is horrendous, and San Diego had their wake-up call last week. Tony Sparano gets fired at halftime, Bud Kilmer style. Only thing is, Chad Henne is no Jonathan Moxley.
NICHOLS: Record, 6-7-2.
- New Orleans -7
- Buffalo -3
- Atlanta -4.5
- Giants -1
- Jets +3.5
JCK: Record, 10-5.
- Saints -7
- San Diego -7
- Pittsburgh +4
- Pats -4
- Giants -1
Commissioner’s D.A. Top-10:
- Curtis Painter–His name’s Curtis.
- Blaine Gabbert–Worse in Week 2.
- Tarvaris Jackson–Just steadily awful.
- Chad Henne–He’s spiraling downward.
- The Red Rocket–If it wasn’t the Bills…
- Mark Sanchez–He’s due for a terrible one.
- Colt McCoy–Incompletion Machine
- Alex Smith–Eagles fan hope.
- Cam Newton–Already peaked for 2011.
- Rex Grossman–Get Beck loose.