Welcome to the Mac ‘N Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt Era.

Never Go To Denny's...Sober.

How do you know Denny’s is awful?  Their food doesn’t even look good in pictures.  There’s a whole industry of people who dress up food for advertising campaigns, but not even the most skilled artist could turn the trick with Denny’s fare.  I’m sure when they walked in and took a peek at the “Mac N’ Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt,” they wanted to wave a white flag, call a time of death.  What the hell is that?  Even the toasting on the bread looks unnatural.  I hope by now you’ve asked, what am I looking at in that picture?  Well, that’s Denny’s new sandwich.  It clocks in at 1,690 calories.  Marv Albert, thoughts?  “Yesssssss!”

What Denny’s has done is taken a grilled cheese and popped it open.  They’ve then placed the world’s thinnest hamburger patty on top of the cheese.  On top of the patty they’ve got Mac n’ Cheese.  No, that does not look like any Mac n’ Cheese I’ve ever had, but that’s what Denny’s is claiming it is, so we’ll take them at their word.  Why is the Mac n’ Cheese white?  Is that Alfredo sauce?  It’s looks glow in the dark, borderline radioactive.  This is worse than the fake orange Mac n’ Cheese is it not?

I don’t get the trend of putting everything on the burger.  What ever happened to a side dish?  I’m not going to sit here and claim I’m above eating 1,600 calories worth of burgers and Mac n’ Cheese, but why does it have to be all in one delivery system?  Is that so they can seamlessly get the fries on the plate?  Well, your first side is actually sitting on top of the burger, how about some fries?  Of course, places have the fries on the burger now too.  Or mozzarella sticks even.  That’s just gordo.  How do you order that?  I’ll take the Appetizer Sampler Burger?

I suppose you feel better about yourself if you are only ordering one sandwich.  You can just say, “Give me The Mac n’ Cheese Big Daddy and make it snappy,” instead of ordering a burger, fries, and some Mac n’ Cheese.  I guess pizza places try to do the same thing on occasion.  Don’t want Pizza and bread sticks?  How about we just attach giant bread sticks to the crust?  Don’t want to order two pizzas?  How about “The Insider?”  What ever happened to the Insider anyway?  Was that Pizza Hut’s only failed idea?  They’ve stuck with the P’zone and can’t bring the Insider back for another go?

I think I’ll close with a quote from the team at Denny’s.  You have to appreciate the company that can say, “With America consuming around 8.8 billion pounds of cheese annually, Denny’s is answering to the appetites of the nation by introducing a dedicated menu that celebrates all things cheesy.”  Translation:  You’re fat, come be fat with us.  And, after you down the Big Daddy you can cleanse the palate with a strawberry cheesecake milkshake.  Hold the whipped cream, though, I’m on a diet.  8.8 billion pounds?


10 thoughts on “Welcome to the Mac ‘N Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt Era.

  1. well. i give denny’s props for being the originals, or ahead of the curve, with those quarter grab hand machines where you can win stuffed animals and such.



  2. Denny’s, a poor man’s Waffle House. Only two things seem to happen at Denny’s; drunken face stuffing and brawls. How does this place survive? Would anybody notice if Denny’s opened at 10pm and closed at 10am? Do they even need to be open other hours?

  3. “A poor man’s waffle house.” That is a scary thought.

    There is some knockoff waffle house franchise in the south, it is like a low-budget knockoff of waffle house (imagine that). I can’t remember the name of it though.

  4. I have not been able to find the name of this restaurant in a google search. But I have found recipes so that you can make waffles like they make at waffle house. This I cannot understand. I am not clear why the recipes involve anything more than “1. Remove frozen waffle from cellophane wrapper” “2. Microwave 90 seconds on high power”

  5. okay, so about healthy food…
    as much as I don’t wanna admit it Wackmans Fuji apples are awesome.
    organic too.
    i hate what i just disclosed.

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