Personally, I like to rank myself every day. I wake up, go over to the tote board, confirm that I’m still the smartest person in my apartment, and I get on with my day. Call it ritual, call it whatever you want, but since I left college and the steady stream of B+’s came to an end, I need that positive affirmation. On the blog front we have Tuesday morning. Pick ‘Em standings, Picks of the Week, D.A. Standings and the 3PT D.A. of the week. We consistently get higher ratings for this than the Daytime Emmys. Let’s go.
NFL Pick ‘Em Standings:
- JCK 4-1
- Grossy 3-2
- Big Dub 3-2
- Kraft 2-2-1
- Nichols 1-1-2
The “Tom Brady Back-to-Back MVP Futures” Pick of the Week: There was a lot of duplicate picks this week, but I’m going to hand out the hardware to Big Dub for his Baltimore selection. This was a classic “too easy,” Pittsburgh game, but more than that Pittsburgh was a darling pre-season Super Bowl pick and Baltimore was allegedly fading. In the end, it wasn’t even close.
The “I Was an Extra In Tom Brady’s UGGS Commerical” Awful Pick of the Week: Again, plenty of overlap in the picks, I could easily team up with Kraft and share the award for jumping on the Matty Ice bandwagon, but I’m going to settle on Nichols for his selection of Tampa Bay. You see, he said, “my gut says no.” I’m going to put Nichols in the category of people, like myself, who should never go against the gut. Lesson learned, I’m sure.
D.A. Fantasy Football Standings:
- Neckbeards and Codeine 1-0
- Kraft 1-0
- Fake Chow 1-0
- Team Horse Face 1-0
- The Slop Jocks 0-1
- JCK 0-1
- The Shiva Cry 0-1
- Eli Esses D 0-1
Well, we can’t be completely convinced that Grantland hasn’t totally jinxed D.A. Football. There was some seriously good play out of terrible QBs in week one, but things find their level. At least we have a legitimate scoring system to sift through the miles of TD passes.
D.A. Game Summaries:
Neckbeards And Codeine Threaten Dynasty with 57.25 to (-14.25) win over Eli Esses D.
I guess this is what happens when the defending champ takes on last year’s basement dweller? Something isn’t going right in Dub’s selection process, and this week he was killed by the good version of Jay Cutler (-16.5 points). On a week that didn’t feature a lot of points, though, Neckbeards led by Donvan McNabb’s 33.25 points would have been almost impossible to beat.
Kraft Edges The Shiva Cry 30.75 to 13.25, Avenges Last Year’s Tie-Breaker.
In the 4/5 matchup from last year, Kraft rode the geriatric play of Matt Hasselbeck (7.75 points) and Kerry Collins (23 points) to a nice win. Collins actually underperformed for someone who was down 30 at halftime, but this week was all about staying away from the negative numbers and BK could not. Colt McCoy’s glorious inaccuracy had him in the game until the Sex Cannon piled up penalty yardage on his way to (-15.75) points.
Team Horse Face wins (-17.75) to (-44.5) Stinkfest over The Slop Jocks.
Sometimes it’s not who’s on your team, but who you play. Good indication of the difficulty of week one as last year’s two most consistent players both put up negative points. The Slop Jocks were murdered by the Ryan Fitpatrick TD show and then Chad Henne’s 400 yds added insult to injury Monday Night. Horse Face snuck through thanks to the incredibly pedestrian day of Luke/Josh McCown/McNown who scored 2 points. In this game, that was a monster.
Fake Chow Ruins JCK’s Debut (-8) to (-23.25)
Another game that won’t be appearing on the D.A. Classic channel anytime soon. This one came down to the final game of the week with Fake Chow needing anything but TDs and penalty yardage from Jason Campbell. Campbell came through with an incredibly vanilla game in a win, and scored 1 point. For JCK, he was killed by Cam Newton (-34 points). It’ll be interesting to see how D.A. draft experts react to Newton’s huge debut.
The 3-Putt Territory D.A. of the Week:
It was a good start for the quarterbacks in general, but certainly not every quarterback. Tony Romo got special consideration for his epic finish on Sunday night. I wanted desperately to pull the trigger on Ben Roethlisberger, because you don’t get a chance to saddle Big Ben with this award very often, but in the end, it’s hard to ignore 37 yards passing in a full game. That was Donovan McNabb’s signature number in a mind-boggling loss to the Chargers. Did the Vikings only run 41 plays? Is that right? How did that happen? McNabb and the Vikings were worse than the score indicates. Buckle up for the rest of the season, and congrats to Don for taking home the inaugural D.A. of 2011.
And, lastly, the D.A. info and historical D.A. for week 2 has taken its spot back at the top of the page. Click on the tab to learn about another awful QB, check the standings during the week, or look at the upcoming match-ups.