Week Four NFL Reality Check with The Antagonist.

Mike Vick's Post-Game Transportation.

Someone asked me the other day what the worst part about living near Philly was, and right before I said something about the cheese saturated female population I changed my mind.  There’s nothing worse than a Philly fan.  They’ve got no balls. When their team is bad they whine or ignore them completely.  When the team is good, they still whine, but they throw in gutless panic, as well.  Oh no, the Phillies only won 102 games?  What are we ever going to do about the Cardinals?  I can’t wait until they lose game one and things really get kicked up a notch.

If you really want something to worry about, try the Eagles.  When they lose this week you can go ahead and settle in for a rousing 7-9 campaign.  That’s what coming.  The Eagles brought a Ferrari to a demolition derby.  Oh, you’ve got skill position players?  That’s great.  Too bad they’re all going to be broken and battered by mid-season.  Get ready for November when Vince Young to Jason Avant is your go-to combo when you are piling up backdoor cover touchdowns.

The Eagles stink.  And, San Francisco is just the team to prove how bad they are.  Don’t get me wrong.  The Niners are just south of mediocre, but to think the Eagles should be laying 10 points to anyone with that defense is laughable.  You’ll hear the pundits talk about how the line can’t go high enough for them.  The higher it goes, the bigger a lock the Eagles are, and maybe that’d be true if Michael Vick had any real shot of finishing the game.  He doesn’t.  And, how long until Maclin/McCoy/Jackson (combined weight 305 lbs) join the parade to the MRI machine?  Let me know when they start playing flag football in the NFL.  Then I’ll get on-board with Eagles.  In the meantime, do what you do best, Philly fans, panic.  Because, Sunday afternoon is going to be a nail-biter.

***

The Contraction Special:

Every week I’m going to highlight a game that should be taken off the schedule. Ideally, both teams would lose.  I love the NFL.  I have 4 fantasy teams.  I have a moderate gambling problem, and yet there is always at least one game a week that the baseball morons could point to as a response to the, “baseball is boring and awful,” argument. This week, that game is Vikings/Chiefs.  Zero combined wins.  Zero combined competent quarterbacks.  Zero combined coaches with a clue.  One great running back who doesn’t get the ball enough and one very good running back who no longer has a working knee.  If there was a prop bet that I could make about Todd Haley going 0-17 this year, I might take a quick taste—because you never know.  If I was an executive at DirectTV, I’d blackout this game.  What if someone accidentally puts it on?  They might cancel the whole package.  Just thinking about the game makes me want to vomit.  You’re better than this, NFL.

***

The AFC Special:

What is it about the AFC?  There always seems to be an AFC game each week that looks like a good matchup on paper, but is secretly awful.  There’s nothing that kills me more than hype over Ravens/Steelers games.  Those games are brutal.  These games probably aren’t exclusive to the AFC, but I don’t like the conference, and I’m sticking to my guns.  This week, the prime example is Houston/Pittsburgh.  Two winning teams, two probable playoff teams, what’s the issue?  I wish I could pinpoint the problem, but I just don’t care about this game.  I think it’s Schaub.  He’s got the charisma of artificial Christmas tree.  Runner Up AFC Special: Jets/Ravens.

***

Game of the Week:  Lions/Cowboys.

I can hear the cries of disbelief.  Where’s the love for the Pats/Raiders game?  That’s guaranteed to feature a minimum of 70 points, and I agree, but this game intrigues me.  I seek knowledge.  The NFC is wide open.  It is.  If you want to hitch your wagon up to the Packers, go ahead, but they are very beatable.  And, regardless, other contenders are going to have to emerge.  And, we know it ain’t going to be Philadelphia.  I’m not sure the Lions are any good, but they’re 3-0.  I think the Cowboys still have room for improvement, and probably should be 3-0 themselves.  It seems like there is no way Detroit is ready for this game on the road, but the Cowboys don’t bury anybody.  So, like I said, intriguing.

Five Fantasy Implosions:

  1. LeSean McCoy
  2. Arian Foster Part III
  3. Benjarvis Green Ellis
  4. Joe Flacco
  5. Daniel Thomas
Five Fantasy Risks to Take if You’re Desperate:  Because nothing is more annoying than some “expert” making Greg Jennings a strong play.
  1. Jay Cutler
  2. Denarious Moore
  3. A.J. Green
  4. Michael Crabtree
  5. Stevan Ridley
Over/Under Lock of the Week:  Colts/Bucs Under 40.5.  

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23 thoughts on “Week Four NFL Reality Check with The Antagonist.

  1. Editor’s Note: This is the first post in what I’m hoping will be a weekly NFL preview section by a guest contributor. He’s adopted the name, The Antagonist, because he’s stuck living in the Philadelphia area as a non-Philly fan, and it drives him insane. I thought we needed some fresh perspective around here, and The Antagonist (a lover of all things NFL), agreed to do a weekly post previewing games, offering opinions, etc. If things go well, he might even branch out a little bit and cover some other areas. Enjoy, 3-PT.

    • good point BK (says my internalized sexist self)

      3-Putt, you wrote: said something about the cheese saturated female population

      i feel like i need a translation, do you mean like cheese the fatty food hard to digest? or the way q talks?

      cheese is good as cottage cheese and if cheese enhances bums but does not turn the bum into cottage cheese.

      what was this post about? you lost me at cheese

      Q

      • oh, sorry, this comment is for the Antagonist, I guess.

        just read all the comments. but 3-Putt, you’re good at translating stuff so feel free…

        Q

      • what was this comment about? you lost me at…

        Cheese as in cheese fries and then when asked cheese on top or the side the answer becomes “both”

  2. Mr. Antagonist,
    How can you say Philly fans have no balls when all they do is support teams that lose and yet still keep comin back for more? Flyers fans are blind loyalists no matter what happens. Eagles fans know how the movie ends yet still buy tickets.

    Phillies fans are a different breed right now because most of the fans don’t really know about the days when the Phils were awful. It’s almost like they assume everything is going to go right all the time and the second things go bad there definitely is panic. If you want to toss Phillies fans under the bus I can understand that. But to toss Philly fans as a group under doesn’t register.

    As for San Fran, how can you forget Alex Smth is their quarterback. I don’t care how bad the defense is. Smith is to slumping NFL defenses as Doug Davis is to sputtering MLB offenses. The guy is a slump buster and he’s dying to make the Eagles look good.

    The only problem with a win over San Fran is it proves Andy is still capable of beating sub-par teams.

    I already love Mr. Antagonist.

    Oh, how about the Rams? If they lose to the Redskins their next couple games are the Packers, Cowboys, Saints. I’d love to see that team go 2-14 and get the No.1 overall pick and then watch teams unload trade offers for the rights to Luck or Bradford.

    • As a random comment about Flyers fans, i think the recent verbal spat between Sather and Snider was interesting. The fact that Lindros is largely ignored despite having brought relevancy back in many ways to the Flyers sucks, but whatever. By relevancy i’m referring to the financial success, for clarification purposes.

      • I don’t think Lindros is ignored by real Flyers fans. The management and Clarkey obviously still hold a grudge against the guy, but I think most fans realize–especially now that they’ve had some time to step away–that Lindros was great when he played and a total beast of the likes that we haven’t seen since. At least this Flyers fan realizes that.

      • I think there are still some feelings to the effect of “How the eff did we not win the Stanley Cup with this guy?” But I think those feelings are misdirected when they result in negative feelings about Lindros. They ought to be directed towards Clarke for wasting Lindros’s best years with B+ (charitably) goalies.

  3. I love how the Sixers are completely absent from your argument. I guess they don’t exist? I don’t blame you for leaving them out, hardly a franchise, but when I said “ignored,” that’s who I was talking about.

    Haven’t I heard you trash Eli Manning on here all day? Isn’t your D.A. team name something about him likey the pee-pee? And, yet that non-talent put up some Montana-ian numbers last week against the Birds. So did Matt “2nd Coming of Jim Everett” Ryan. As far as I’m concerned, the Eagles can cover 2 or 3 guys on the field on any given play. Guess what? Most plays have more options than that.

    I agree that the Rams are awful, but if it wasn’t for them, you’d be 0-3.

    • Kinda hard to comment on the Sixers when the NBA is in a lockout. You’d be hard pressed to find any fan of any team talking about their team right now. All NBA teams are a non-factor in the sports world. Do you want me to talk about Thad Young and where he might end up? No one knows what is going to happen to the NBA. For all we know a couple teams will get dumped and the Sixers will land a decent player.

      Talking about any NBA team is as useless. The only NBA talk I hear about is what individual players are doing in terms of where they will play in a lockout. As it stands no one noteworthy on the Sixers is going overseas.

      As for my boy Eli, he put up big numbers on two plays and exposed the Eagles linebackers and proved Nnamdi isn’t as great as we thought. I’d like to bash him, but I’ll just wait for him to either miss the playoffs or lose in the opening round.

      I’m not going to say Matt Ryan put up great numbers. He threw for less than 200 yards. I understand he had four tochdowns, but 3 came from inside the 5-yard line. His running game set him up all day long.

      I’m not going to say the Eagles are good right now, but I’m not going to fear the god-awful 49ers. If the Eagles didn’t have the Rams maybe they would be 0-3, but if the 49ers didn’t get the Seahawks and Bengals they’d be 0-3 as well. And if the Steelers didn’t have the Colts and Seahawks maybe they’d be 0-3. We could on and on. The NFL is a shit-infested league and bad teams play against bad teams all the time. Right now a bad Eagles team is going to play against a bad 49ers team.

      At the end of the day though the Eagles have plenty of talent to run it up on San Fran.

      The Eagles are also lucky because they will only have to cover 1.5 players. Vernon and Davis and a banged up Frank Gore. Michael Crabtree is a total bust and Braylon Edwards isn’t even an option.

      Hell, I wouldn’t care if Jerry Rice and John Taylor came back for this game. Because at the end of the day Alex Smith is the quarterback. The same Alex Smith who turned it over 3 times last year against the Eagles.

      • The Lockout, seriously?

        I’m talking about the fans in general. Who was talking about and/or going to the Sixers games while they were playing the last 6? years….

        you said all they do is support teams that lose. I’m just saying EXCEPT for the sixers when they stink…and, the Phillies.

        don’t get me wrong. I don’t think the 49ers are a good team. I’m just saying, when Vick goes down again and Kendall Hunter starts gashing through the line, it could be tight b-hole time in your living room.

      • How can the lockout not be a factor? I doubt any city is talking about their NBA team.

        You can’t knock Philly for not supporting the Phillies or Sixers if they stink. If you do you have to rip Boston for not being their for the Celtics before the big 3 arrived or Chicago post-Jordan and pre-Rose. I doubt Madison Square Garden was the place to be when the Knicks were awful.

        How about L.A. takes a hit for their lack of support the Dodgers? Cleveland bailed on the Indians over the last 5 years, the Orioles are an afterthought in Baltimore.

        There is not one city in America that sticks with every team through thick and thin. That’s just the nature of sports fan in general.

        It’s actually amazing Philly fans are loyal to two teams no matter what. Few cities can actually say that.

        I wonder what city Mr. Antagonist would say has the best fans?

      • I’ve said it before, MSG and the Knicks/Rangers are always the toughest tickets to get in NYC, regardless of success. Take that for what it’s worth, the city just supports those teams no matter the circumstances. As evidence, the Dolans continue to be owners and pile up the dough. If NY only supported the Knicks in the good times, they’d have sold long ago.

      • Sixers “fans” bailed long before the lockout. The interest level is exactly the same right now as it was during the season….0. Do people even care if they play this coming year?

        I don’t remember saying that Philly was extraordinary in its fan behavior, but if you ask a Philly fan they will usually tell you that they are the best fans, and that other cities have fraud fans, and blah, blah blah. And, these Phillies fans. Oh, we’re just so downtrodden and historically beaten that we can’t help but be pessimistic and prepare for the worst. WAH. You won the world series 3 years ago. You’ve won 5 straight divisions.

        So now you just want to be like every other city? You want to be on par with Dodger fans. Fine with me. what happened to the first line of your very first comment, “all they do is support teams that lose.” NO, they don’t. and, now you’ve backpedaled and are saying, well, other cities do that too.

        Excuses, another signature Philly trait.

      • Um, what?

        I’m saying there are certain things that happen in Philly that occur in other cities, so to just bash Philly is shortsighted.

        You can hate Philly fans all you want. Not sure what it does for you, but go for it.

      • I’m talking about Philly fans because that is what is most germane to this blog. I never said what I was describing was exclusive to them, although the whining about winning might be…

        if I said you have an ugly dog, that doesn’t mean you have the ONLY ugly dog in the world, it just means your particular dog happens to be ugly. we’re not talking about anyone else’s.

        I have a feeling if we were having this discussion in person, you’d be the guy who just keeps talking louder and louder while not making any sense.

      • I wouldn’t waste my time yelling. No matter what I said or how I delivered it any logical thinking would elude your narrow mindedness. This is why I tried to avoid talking to you a long time ago.

  4. This is actually the first time we’ve debated. I am reading everything you say, I just don’t think it makes a good argument.

    I said Philly fans annoy me for x, y, and z reasons. You said other fans do the same thing. That’s not an argument, that’s a completely other story. Yes, Boston fans are also annoying. Yes, New York fans are annoying.

    The funny thing is, I think you mostly wanted to agree with me, you conceded the point on Phillies fans.

    We obviously disagree on the Niners/Eagles game, but we’ll see how that plays out. If you turn out to be right, I’ll be sure to acknowledge it next Thursday.

    Don’t work yourself into too much of a lather.

    • Your argument was there is nothing worse than Philly fans. I’ve given numerous examples of other fans who are worse. I can concede certain points because I have more than enough leeway to work with your original statement.

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