Not a big fan of the NFL going to London. Do the Bucs always go? Is it because that donkey Glazer owns Manchester United? I don’t understand the push to globalize the NFL. You want to globalize the NBA, go ahead, it stinks–move the whole league to China, but if they stick an NFL team in London I will completely lose my sh*t. Can’t we just each have our own football? In the states we get force-fed soccer and we try to ram a little Futbol Americano down the throats of unsuspecting Englishmen and our friends in Mexico.
Count me among those who think that soccer will never happen in the United States. It would have happened by now. Why isn’t it going to happen? We have other, better sports to watch. I’ll give everyone who ever played on the U-14 FC Tummy Sticks to freak out for a second about how it’s a beautiful game and we don’t understand it, etc. Done? Ok, you know why soccer seems so amazing in places like Europe and South America? It’s because the people are obsessed. You’re being pulled in by the atmosphere. Not the sport. I once was drug along by Mr. 3-PT to a basketball game played by his fabled D-III alma mater. It was probably the most exciting basketball game I’ve been to, because there were about 1,000 people there for both sides that were absolutely going crazy, dying to win. You might be able to get 20,000 people in Portland to create that for a soccer game, but it’ll never happen on a much larger scale, just like you couldn’t fill a big arena with my D-III thriller.
The point is, stop jacking a home game from a fan base that actually cares (assuming we’re not talking about one of the Florida teams) and stay out of London. The worst crowd atmosphere for any NFL game all year is probably the Super Bowl, because there isn’t enough fans of one team in the building. I imagine the London atrocity is a close second. Speaking of which, why can’t we play a Super Bowl on someone’s home-field? Another day…
Contraction Special: Broncos @ Dolphins.
I hate to pick on the Dolphins again, but they were actually worse than I thought they’d be on Monday night. Since they’ve achieved a whole new level of suck, I feel like this pick has some freshness to it. Dolphins fans are getting excited by Tim Tebow’s arrival in town. That’s a low point. The only people who should be excited about Tebow are desperate Fantasy owners, not fans of real-live football. The Broncos did Tebow the favor of trading away their #1 receiver, but I imagine they’ll spend most of the night in their version of the Wildcat, which is known as the Evangelist. The other thing I want to know is, is Andrew Luck watching this game in abject horror? Or he is one of these guys that is so cocky that he thinks he can turn around any situation?
The AFC Special: Chargers @ Jets.
Did anyone think it was ever going to be hard for me to find a horrible AFC game? Because this is certainly not the week. San Diego is looking horrible, like they usually do during their slow starts, but somehow they are 4-1? Did they play K.C. four times? Rivers is suffering from a lack of healthy weapons and the whole team has been out of sync. Even coming off the bye, this doesn’t feel like a good spot for them, considering how NY contains the passing game. But, the Jets will have to score to win this game, and there, as they say, is the rub. Give me one name you like on New York’s offense right now…is it Keller? It’s pretty barren. As usual, Rex Ryan is the lead story here.
The Game of the Week: Falcons @ Lions.
I know you are probably sick of me picking the Lions, but go look at the schedule. It’s terrible. Sunday night is Colts/Saints. BREES and MANNING! Oh, right. The Colts are 0-6. This is probably the worst slate of NFL games I’ve seen all year, so when in doubt, just watch Megatron. Also, Jim Schwartz is probably a half-step away from choking someone out with the first down chain. Really though, this is an interesting game, because we need to see how Detroit handles that loss last week, and we need to know if we can write off Atlanta for good. Paging Matt Ryan, Paging Matt Ryan…Roddy White would like a word with you, and he does not look happy.
Five Fantasy Busts:
- Willis McGahee
- Michael Turner
- Philip Rivers
- Maurice Jones-Drew
- Carson Palmer
Five Fantasy Risks if You’re Desperate:
- DeMarco Murray
- Tim Tebow
- Greg Little
- Reggie Wayne
- Maurice Morris
Over/Under Lock of the Week (Record, 2-1): Washington/Carolina Over 43.