Tuesday Morning Self-Esteem Check.

Strange Week.

It had to be the oddest week of the NFL season.  It wasn’t necessarily the outcomes of the games, but how we got to those finishes was anything but normal.  There was just a whole lot of ugly out there.  The Colts/Saints game on Sunday night had to be one of the worst primetime games the NFL has ever broadcast (And then Monday night happened).  With an array of backdoor covers and some terrible QB play, it wasn’t a big surprise that we didn’t have our best week around here.  Nothing drastic, but the victory parade that  kicked off last week stalled just a bit.  What we’ve got:

NFL Pick ‘Em Standings:

  1. JCK:  22-12-1
  2. Big Dub:  19-13-3
  3. Kraft: 17-14-4
  4. Grossy:  18-15-2
  5. Nichols: 15-18-2

The “Going 0-5 is Still More Fun than Fantasy Football,” Pick of the Week:  We really need to work on our creativity.  Not a single unique winner in the bunch.  Everyone hovered around Pittsburgh, Carolina, NY. I almost want to give it to Cleveland for that push, because if ever a team should have covered, but no…some field goals are meant to be blocked.  In the end, if you picked Tebow this week, you win the award.  I don’t know how much support old T-squared will have going forward, even with that miracle cover.  So, might as well get it in while we can.  It might not have been a great pick, but it was an entertaining one.

The “Jim Caldwell Left His Cover Letter in Your Printer,” Awful Pick of the Week:  We were on the wrong side of some blowouts this week.  Did I pick the Titans?  Yeah, I did, thanks for remembering.  Sometimes I like these losses the best.  You don’t spend all afternoon thinking up backdoor cover scenarios, you just sweep it off the books.  But, there are your run of the mill, 30-point blowouts, and then there are 55-point blowouts.  The odd thing was, it felt like the Saints beat Indy by about 100.  If you didn’t see Indy’s first couple of drives where they were attempting the “hurry up,” you missed a laugh a minute.  Of course, Nichols may not have been laughing, because he had the Colts and the awful pick of the week.

D.A. Standings and Summaries: 

This was the D.A. week we’ve all been waiting for.  The names have been there all year.  McCoy, Cassel, Hasselbeck, Jackson, but the numbers have left a little bit to be desired.  Well this week there was an influx of new talent, and I think they breathed some life into the old guard.  Not so fast, Christian Ponder.  Josh Freeman would like to raise the bar to 4 INTs, and so on.  The result was perhaps our first ever week of no negative point totals, the closest match of the year, and a giant cluster ball in the standings after our two leaders.  Welcome to the midway point.

D.A. Standings:

  1. Neckbeards and Codeine:  5-2 (234.75 points)
  2. JCK:  5-2 (110.00 points)
  3. The Shiva Cry:  3-4 (228.75 points)
  4. Kraft:  3-4 (186.75 points)
  5. Fake Chow:  3-4 (159.25 points)
  6. Team Horse Face: 3-4 (99.5 points)
  7. The Slop Jocks:  3-4 (90.00 points)
  8. Eli Esses D:  3-4 (62.25 points)

Eli Esses D Continues Climb with 57 to 27.25 win over The Slop Jocks.

Apparently, Big Dub has refocused and has changed his D.A. strategy.  In the short-term it seems to be paying off as he’s turned his season around and finds himself just one game out of the playoffs, despite still holding down the #8 seed.  On Sunday he relied on Christian Ponder’s eagerness toward throwing incompletions to get the job done.  Ponder was OK, but so rarely found his own teammates with his throws that he managed 36 points.  London loving Jay Cutler rounded out Eli Esses D’s scoring with 21 points.  For the Slop Jocks, they dropped into the mess at 3-4 in large part due to a lack of a breakout game. Solid wasn’t good enough, and Kevin Kolb and John Beck, surprisingly, didn’t do enough.

Kraft Gets Back to Winning Ways with a 56.75 to 13 drubbing of Team Horse Face.  

Not that Kraft needed it this week, but before Tim Tebow caught fire he might have been headed toward another historic point total.  With Charlie Whitehurst’s 41.75 points in the bank, Tebow had logged about 30 passing yards and was looking like a mess.  Unfortunately for Kraft and for D.A. history, Timmy Boy righted the ship.  For Team Horse Face, the struggles continued and the losing streak hit 4 games.  Mark Sanchez and Matt Moore, despite all that name recognition couldn’t throw a single pick.  Their 6 and 7 point efforts weren’t nearly enough.

JCK Sneaks by The Shiva Cry 58.25 to 56.5 in the Dark of the Night

In sharp contrast to Team Horse Face sits JCK, who right now can do no wrong and has won 5 straight.  The last by the slimmest of margins.  Most teams facing Josh Freeman’s 4 INTs (33.5 points) and Colt McCoy’s D.A. tribute performance in Cleveland (23 points) would be in deep trouble, but like I said, the talent pool was deep this week.  JCK started the day with Matt Cassel’s 2 INT, 25 point effort in a 28-0 win–impressive. But, the prize was Sunday Night, Curtis Painter’s child wandering into a theater routine that netted a breezy 33.25 points against the Colts.  Tough one for Shiva Cry to swallow, but that big point total should help him down the road.

Neckbeards and Codeine Wins High-Scoring Affair with Fake Chow, 67.5 to 56.  

The Raiders didn’t want to play Carson Palmer this week.  That much was obvious.  I can’t say I blame them.  With a bye coming up, you might as well give Palmer a chance to learn the offense.  That’s what Kyle Boller is for, right?  Well, no. Kyle Boller is for playing D.A.  If you can keep him in the game.  He threw a pick-6 on his very first attempt and from there exploded for a penalty yardage inflated 45.75 points.  It was just the start that Neckbeards needed to get to 5-2 and hold off a charging Fake Chow.  The return of Matt Hasselbald (37 points) sparked the effort for Nichols’ squad, but it wasn’t quite enough.

3-PT D.A. of the Week:

This was the hardest decision of the year.  I don’t even know where to start.  Whitehurst?  Horrific.  Blaine Gabbert in a win was aggressively bad.  Freeman threw 4 picks.  Pick-6s were everywhere.  I had my finger on the trigger and the crosshairs on Joe Flacco, but on a week like this I can’t give it to a guy who didn’t throw a pick.  I need D.A. balance.  The real enemy here is Hue Jackson.  Stick with one QB, kid.  They’re taking votes from each other.  Combined, they put up 71 D.A. Points.  That’s incomprehensible.  When trying to decide which QB, Palmer or Boller was more deserving, I’ve got to factor in the humor factor.  Kyle Boller was funny, but Carson Palmer was hilarious.  A first and a second round pick!  He’s your winner.  He’ll have the bye-week to let it marinate.

One thought on “Tuesday Morning Self-Esteem Check.

  1. If your team name is disparaging a QB in a league based on bad QB play, shouldn’t you be obligated to draft him every week?

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