I’m usually good for about one 5-0 week a year, so when it happens I become justifiably enamored with myself. I have the NFL figured out. Take your weak and middling picks someplace else people, this blog demands perfection! Going 5-0 was so easy for me I don’t know why I don’t do it every week. Of course, I’m a little concerned, because my new gravy train–the Texans–are now without a QB. Perhaps betting against Leinart will prove just as easy. Now that I’ve catapulted into 2nd place, I’m sure the top spot will be mine soon enough. Anyway, it’s just nice to get off that 2-3, 3-2 grind every week. Let’s recap…
NFL Pick ‘Em Standings:
- Big Dub: 30-17-3
- Grossy: 28-20-2
- Kraft: 25-21-4
- JCK: 26-23-1
- Nichols: 22-26-2
The “Juan Castillo’s Real Estate Agent,” Pick of the Week: Well, I think I’ve spent enough time tooting my own horn. And, like I said, all five of my picks were stone-cold layups. The Steelers game was my only sweat. The others? Cakewalk city. For the pick of the week, I’ve got to back to Mr. Outright, Big Dub who had the Seahawks laying a beating on the Ravens. Seattle is always a popular pick at home (it’s the crowd noise–vomit), but Seattle–by rule–doesn’t win many games. So, to pick them to beat the Ravens, possibly the best team in the AFC, takes some stones. Takes the kind of fearless leadership that can put you atop a set of random Pick ‘Em standings. The best thing is, I think Dub picked the Ravens after their last win over Pittsburgh, this time he learned his lesson.
The “Ryne Sandberg’s Interviewing Skills,” Awful Pick of the Week: There are certain things that Kraft is very good at. Mike Gundy references. Casually dropping names from Tecmo Bowl into his picks. Things of this nature, but he also tends to set himself up for this honor a few times a year. He was swinging for the fences with the Bucs. If the Bucs had pulled that off, perhaps he gets pick of the week, but the Bucs aren’t pulling off much this year. Josh Freeman is playing like Josh Booty. And, anytime you say one of your picks doesn’t make any sense and then it loses by 4 TDs? Yeah, you’re going to find yourself in this slot.
D.A. Standings and Summaries:
Right now I can’t believe that a month ago I was worried that good QB play was going to ruin D.A. Fantasy Football. Right, like there will ever be more than 8 good quarterbacks in the league at the same time. The play in recent weeks has been pretty putrid, you just have to know where to look. Perhaps, in the coming weeks, someone will again have the courage to take Ryan Fitzpatrick. With 4 weeks left in the regular season, no one is eliminated, but some have much tougher tasks than others.
D.A. Football Standings:
- Neckbeards and Codeine: 7-3 (261.25 points)
- Kraft: 6-4 (328.75 points)
- JCK: 6-4 (140.25 points)
- Fake Chow: 5-5 (231.5 points)
- The Shiva Cry: 4-6 (269.75 points)
- Team Horse Face: 4-6 (195.00 points)
- The Slop Jocks: 4-6 (153.25 points)
- Eli Esses D: 4-6 (99.00 points)
Shiva Cry Yanks Self Out of the Cellar with 18.75 to (-8.25) win Over Eli Esses D
Shiva Cry made some history last week by supplanting Dub in the basement, but he remedied that minor blip with this systematic win. For the 2nd straight week BK took the enigmatic Tim Tebow (13.75 points). The question has become, does Tebow throw the ball enough to be a real D.A. star? At one point it looked like he might not complete a pass all day. For Big Dub, he buried himself on Thursday with Carson Palmer (-15.25 points). Palmer’s effort highlights the importance of the match-up. Beware anyone playing the Chargers.
Kraft Solidifies Playoff Position with 27.5 to 12 win over JCK
Odd game. I imagine Skelton and Jackson were high on everyone’s list, but they combined for only 4.75 points in this contest. This came down to a battle of 2nd round picks. Kraft landed on Matt Cassel (24.75 points), who suddenly is totally incompetent in Kansas City. Can you lose to Miami and Denver back-to-back and still be an NFL team? For JCK, the Hasselbeck portion of the Cassel/Hassel dynamic duo was not as successful. His 10 points were impressive in an easy win, but not nearly enough.
Neckbeards and Codeine Extends Team Horse Face’s Struggles With 47.5 to 25.75 Win.
I thought the wild-card in this match-up would be Horse Face’s selection of Joe Flacco in the 2nd round. But, the Ravens suddenly throw the ball every play and Flacco rarely completes those passes. He exploded for 23.75 points, but it was Mr. Incompletion himself, Colt McCoy, who didn’t hold up his end of the bargain for Horse Face. For 1st place Neckbeards, it was business as usual, led by Curtis Painter (23.5 points). This guy is just a rock. Dial up the 0-16 machine. The Colts are coming.
Fake Chow Slips into Playoff Position with 45 to 23 win over The Slop Jocks.
This game came down to Monday Night. Fake Chow needed a decent effort out of Christian Ponder to get back to .500 and Ponder delivered a mini-masterpiece (35 points). With Green Bay getting that early lead, it put way too much heat on Ponder and he couldn’t deliver. His performance dwarfed the return to D.A. of one Rex Grossman, who led the Slop Jocks with 21 points. Previously hot Blaine Gabbert was cooled off by the Colts who just continue to find new ways to factor into losses.
The 3-PT D.A. of the Week:
Kind of a take your pick scenario. Without that late TD, Tebow might have had the most D.A. performance of all-time, something that really called to mind the game that started it all. Fitzpatrick was a train wreck. Sanchize? How is this guy going undrafted? I guess it came down to Fitzy and Matt Stafford, but I have to go with Stafford, because he totally imploded in a big spot, and he threw those 2 award-winning pick-6s. The Detroit/Chicago game was something else, Cutler was bad, the Bears scored 21 points without their offense on the field, and if Stafford could have managed to not gift wrap 14 points maybe the Lions could have fared a bit better. Instead, Stafford smoothly went 33/63 (Sixty-Three!) with 4 picks and almost 45 D.A. Points despite spinning it for 329 yards.