You’ve got to have some morbid curiosity about tonight’s NFL game, right? On paper, there’s not much glamour. The Jets are a team that only a mother could love. The Broncos run an offense straight out of the leather helmet era. Their own coach kinda, sorta said that their QB can’t really play in the league, but they’re trotting him out there anyway and have won two straight. The Jets seem embarrassed to be preparing for this offense. As if it is an insult to their skill level, and we’ll see if that’s the case. How sustainable is what Denver is doing? I feel like the expiration date is about 8:30 tonight.
I do appreciate the fact that Denver is being brutally honest about this. Look, we know. We see it in practice, we’re not going to try to dress it up. We’ll be running the ball 55 times. Come get some. It puts a lot of heat on their defense and possibly bores the other team to death. How else do you explain Eric Decker getting open exactly once a game? Then Tebow heaves up that gork, that dying quail, and we’ve got absolute pandemonium in the Mile High City. And, while I think it is incredibly stupid, just a terrible, terrible long-term move–I do appreciate that Denver has not given up on the season. In fact, it looks like Indy is really the only team that truly packed it in. The Broncos are showing up to the prom with their cousin because everyone else said “ehh-no thank ya,” but at least they’re showing up.
Does anyone think that Tebow could actually have a stranger game than last week? Two completions in a win is something that isn’t done too often, but we of course know that D.A. once did it in much more spectacular fashion. Is one completion possible? Is zero? It looked for a moment last weekend like Tebow may not complete a pass. If the Jets really pack it in against the run, how many yards will the Broncos gain? 85? How many first downs will they get? If the Broncos get down 2 or 3 scores will they air it out? Or, will they just run the ball to kill clock and get it over with? Could Tebow do something amazing like 6/27 for 55 yards? What’s the basement? Is this the biggest advantage Mark Sanchez has ever had over the opposing QB?
Speaking of the QBs, I’m supposed to remind D.A. Football participants about the Thursday draft. I imagine Tebow has to go somewhere.
Contraction Special: Jaguars @ Browns.
You know, I just spent multiple paragraphs talking about Tebow, but here’s two teams that will trying to run actual offenses and they just don’t have the players. How many NFL games are played where there is a total of 1 viable fantasy option on the field (aside from defenses)? Does anyone own a Brown? I know there were some sorry souls who played Colt McCoy this year, but the Browns could probably learn something by watching Denver’s offensive game tape. They’re horrific. The Jaguars aren’t much better. I don’t want to write off Blaine Gabbert. It’s too early, his receivers are mostly garbage, but don’t you wish he could be sent off somewhere to develop and you didn’t have to witness it play out like a horror show every week. Just show me the “after” picture. I can’t take the gore. This game is brutal. I’d rather watch golf on replay.
The AFC Special: Bengals @ Ravens.
It could be tonight’s game, honestly. The Broncos are only 1 game out in their division and the Jets still have designs on a playoff spot, and yet most people would rather watch Peyton Manning play coach mode in Madden. I already talked too much about that game though, so we’ll just hitch right back up to the Bengals wagon. Now, I’ll admit–the game last week was not as bad as I was expecting. But, that was just the tip of the iceberg for the Bengals. They lost, as expected, and now they’ll continue to lose. Like I said last week, this isn’t a 6-2 team, it isn’t a 6-3 team. It’s a team that on its way to 8-8. And, I am glad I picked this game, because I have no idea what the Ravens are doing. They’re the only team that would have Ray Rice, but not really want to give him the ball. Let’s feature Ed Dickson!
Game of the Week: Tampa Bay @ Green Bay.
Somewhere Chris Berman is saying, “NFC Norris, Bay of Pigs, NFC Norris,” through a mouthful of Wendys, but this is the game I came up with on what is once again a horrific slate of action. There are some opportunities to rubberneck an accident. How bad will Philly be? But, I’m picking this game solely because of Green Bay. If all 14 games are going to be atrocious, why not pick the game that has the best team? It’s entertaining to watch the Packers play offense. You can’t really deny that, and they should be rolling it up once again. They’ve probably got that first taste of 16-0 now, and it certainly won’t be stopped by the aimless Bucs. I suggest finding someone who is playing against Jordy Nelson in fantasy. Watch the game with them. You’ll get your laughs.
Five Fantasy Busts for Week 11:
- Santonio Holmes
- Frank Gore
- Steve Smith (Carolina)
- Joe Flacco
- Steven Jackson
Five Fantasy Risks if You’re Desperate:
- Chad Ochocinco
- Kendall Hunter
- Vincent Brown
- Reggie Bush
- Danny Woodhead
Over/Under Lock of the Week (Record, 4-3…frigid): Oakland @ Minnesota Over 44.5