You know what term annoys me a little bit? “Blue-Collar Sports Town.” Fans love to place themselves among a blue-collar fan base. It implies you know the game, respect hard work, and don’t take well to players like Cole Hamels. My question is, do White-Collar Sports Towns exist? Is there a city out there where the fans are like, give me a roster full of pretty boy slackers. Winning or losing? Who cares? Are our players dominating on Twitter? I don’t really think those cities exist. I’m sure in some places like Miami or San Diego the fans are a little less intense, but I think that has more to do with other recreational outlets rather than the number of plumbers within the city limits. Anyway, we’ve got some real white-collar handicappers around here.
NFL Pick ‘Em Standings:
- Big Dub: 34-22-4
- Grossy: 32-25-3
- JCK: 31-28-1
- Kraft: 28-27-5
- Nichols: 27-31-2
The “Thank God for the Colts,” Pick of the Week.
It wasn’t our finest hour here this week. I’d rundown the stats, but I don’t believe in that kind of negative reinforcement. I’m going to chalk it up to being distracted by the holiday. After all, most people who visit this site love to eat. Oh, and they’re all staunch family men as well. Does that sound good? Anyway, about the only thing we did right was have 4 people pick against a Colts team that hadn’t won a game all year. Pretty edgy stuff, right? The problem with this strategy is that if we want to piggyback on the Colts next week, we’re probably going to have to lay about 3 TDs. Then we’ll find out who has the courage.
The “At Least It’s Victoria Secret Fashion Show Week,” Awful Pick of the Week:
Well, Dub was the lone holdout on the Colts. Not sure of the thinking there. And, plenty of people piled onto the G-Men only to watch Drew Brees throw for about 1,000 yards in the 1st half. But, on a tough week, the editor has to take one on the chin for his contributors here. If you go back and read my picks, you’ll find that I imply picking the Redskins would mean you don’t watch football. Well, I’m still not aware of a correlation between picking winners and actually watching the games. Does it help? Maybe, but not when you are deciding a winner between two NFC pieces of trash. I’m going on record now saying I will not pick the Seahawks/Eagles game under any circumstances.
D.A. Fantasy Football Standings and Summaries
Another great D.A. week. We had one of the closest games in D.A. history fall right in the middle of the playoff hunt. We also saw more injuries, and what will likely cause an influx of even more new names into the talent pool. The standings are starting to shake out. We have a clinched playoff spot, and 2 teams in deep trouble with two weeks to go. However, after some rudimentary calculations, I think everyone still has a chance. Is it going to happen if you’re 4-8? Probably not, but don’t give up the faith.
- Neckbeards and Codeine: 9-3 (331.25 points)
- Kraft: 7-5 (397.75 points)
- JCK: 7-5 (234.25 points)
- Fake Chow: 6-6 (295.75 points)
- Eli Esses D: 6-6 (165.75 points)
- Team Horse Face: 5-7 (277.00 points)
- The Shiva Cry: 4-8 (237.25 points)
- The Slop Jocks: 4-8 (202.25 points)
Eli Esses D Rumbles Into Playoff Chase with 30 to 14.75 Win over JCK
It’s been a long journey for Big Dub. And, time will tell if his troublesome start in terms of point total (-55 points through 3 weeks) can be overcome, but he’s certainly on the right track. This week it was old-school Colt McCoy getting the job done. McCoy has no identity if he’s not completing 47% of his passes and the Bengals held him in check on Sunday (26 points). For JCK, the maddening lack of turnovers from Tim Tebow (7 points) continues to define his D.A. career. He doesn’t fumble, he doesn’t get sacked–unless he throws for 38 yards he hasn’t been too viable.
Kraft Knocks Aside The Slop Jocks, 49 to 21, Nears Playoff Berth.
Kraft’s teams have been pretty relentless this year. The league’s leading point man doesn’t offer up many easy wins. You need two solid efforts to get the job done, and The Slop Jocks couldn’t make that happen in week 12. Curtis Painter, probably a D.A. Pro Bowl Selection, was solid with 29 points, but the Red Rifle (-8 points) would not comply. It’s fitting perhaps that Dalton helps Kraft, who has such an affinity for him. On his own team, we saw a possible reemergence of Josh Freeman (21 points)? That’s always nice. Freeman is awful.
Neckbeards Pushes The Shiva Cry to the Brink with 39 to (-15) Win.
About a month ago this season went terribly wrong for The Shiva Cry. Over the last 4 weeks, BK has only totaled 8 points. Not exactly what you need for a playoff push. His teams have been the victim of terrible timing. This week for example, it was the suddenly competent Ryan Fitzpatrick (-25 points) that sunk Shiva’s ship. Can’t blame him there, I was in love with Fitzy this week, and Ryan’s boys let everyone down. For Neckbeards, the opposite has been true. They can hardly make a bad move. Of course, when John Skelton falls into your lap, you just smile and take the win.
Fake Chow Delivers Devastating 43 to 42.5 defeat to Team Horse Face
This was perhaps the biggest game of the week. Two teams wrangling for that last playoff spot, and it came down to the smallest of margins. One sack, one more incompletion could have turned the tide. For Horse Face (noted masters of Thursday), Matt Moore got off to a slightly sluggish start (6.5 points). But, on Sunday, he hitched up to D.A. MVP candidate Blaine Gabbert (36 points). Of course, Gabbert wasn’t allowed to finish the game, and that could have turned Horse Face’s year. For Fake Chow, Mark Sanchez dodged 4 TD passes to put up 7 points, and Caleb Hanie brought things home with a Gabbert-matching 36.
3-PT D.A. of the Week:
Plenty of candidates, as is the norm these days. John Skelton could have gone back-to-back. Blaine Gabbert could win every week, and getting benched for McCown deserves something…but not this week’s D.A. No, I’m going Palko. He slipped through the cracks last week, but not this time around. Palko’s stats were bad. Four turnovers to start, but it was the timing of the picks that really deserves mention. He did everything he could early to bury the Chiefs. Then, as time ticked away and somehow the Chiefs defense kept them in the game, he threw a final pick on the last possession. Seal the deal, Tyler. So, for the combination of his stats and just sucking the will to live out of his team, we gotta go Palko this week.