Week 13 NFL Preview — Hire Rob Ryan Edition.

Look at the Luxuriousness.

Well, it’s nice to be back.  I almost checked in on Thanksgiving to congratulate everyone for managing to go a week without picking the Chargers, but I never got around to it.  San Diego is 2-8 against the number this year.  Not easy to accomplish and I imagine Vegas has been making a killing.  Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.  I’m leading off with a coaching suggestion for you Philly people today.  Rob Ryan.  I was reading John Clayton’s mailbag (a mailbag with actual questions–allegedly) yesterday and he said the rising star coordinators aren’t really out there this season.  NFL jobs turn over at an alarming rate, but in the top coordinator jobs there are a lot more Wade Phillips-type guys around than say a Mike Tomlin.

As Clayton was scraping the bottom of the barrel for coaching candidates, the name of Rob Ryan came up and a light bulb went off in my head.  He’d be perfect for Philadelphia.  The Ryan named is beloved here, because before the Eagles figured out how to sustain a level of success, Buddy Ryan cussed and bounty bowled his way into everyone’s hearts.  For a team that never won anything, beating you up was considered a reasonable substitute.  The Eagles were the Broad Street Bullies without the hardware.  Nevermind that Buddy completely ignored the offense, stunted the growth of Randall Cunningham and never won a playoff game.  The man is a GOD!   One of his brash, defensive-minded sons would be the perfect fit to replace the skipping CD that is Andy Reid, right?

Well, maybe.  Rob Ryan had to ruin everything by going and coaching for the Cowboys.  And, as he’s apt to do, started running his mouth about the Eagles.  Suddenly, it wasn’t enough to be Buddy’s son.  An enemy was identified.  Cut your hair, &%$$#!  So, what I’m saying is, I want to see Eagles fans put in this quandary.  Rob Ryan, minus the last 6 months, is  exactly the kind of guy all the windbags want in here to replace the giant Cheeto.  But, has he permanently been tainted by his association with ‘Dem Cowboys?


Contraction Special: Jets @ Redskins.  

Oh, the horror.  I was as shocked as anyone that Washington won in Seattle last week.  I don’t understand why these stadiums get all this credit for home-field advantage.  The Seahawks stink.  The Chiefs stink.  They can’t be winning that many games at home.  And, the Jets looked pretty spiffy last week too, but that was against the Bills who can make any team look like those undefeated Houston Cougars.  This game will feature none of that offensive excitement.  It will feature terrible running backs, stalled drives and probably a back-breaking interception (or two).  I was really hoping we could avoid the whole Jets in the playoffs thing this season, so maybe Washington can get lucky.  They’re going to want to win at least 6 games to take themselves out the race for any of the top QBs in the draft.

AFC Special:  Ravens @ Browns.  

Or, Nee-Browns at Browns?  I wonder what I would have done if I was a Browns fan when they left for Baltimore.  Someone leaving you to go to Baltimore is just…well, it’s disappointing and revealing at the same time, but I’m not sure I could have just flipped a switch and hated the team.  Then, they won a damn Bowl and you’d feel like a fraud rooting for them while you’re left with a “new” team and Tim Couch.  All very confusing.  Anyway, the problem with a lot of AFC contenders is that they don’t know how to properly blow out a team to make a game entertaining.  We can count on New England to do this (see last week’s boat race of the Birds), but Pittsburgh, Baltimore and the like have a nasty habit of playing down to their competition.  This one will be an atrocity on the eyes.  Stupid, AFC.

Game of the Week:  Packers @ Giants.

I think every game the Packers play at this point is the game of the week, right?  And, there are some decent games this week.  Atlanta @ Houston is intriguing because of the Delhomme factor.  If I was Houston, I would have just brought in Tommie Frazier and stolen Denver’s offense.  Case closed.  And, there’s also the Lions and Saints, which could be pretty exciting.  I just hung my Megatron ornament on my Christmas tree, but this run to 16-0 by the Packers has me a bit captivated.  They seem to be getting even more deadly on offense.  And, if you saw what New Orleans did to NY on Monday Night–oh, dear.  This game is in NY, though, and some people say it’s Green Bay’s last best chance to lose.  Whatever that means.  I don’t see it, but I think the Giants can keep it a tad closer than last week?  I hope?


Five Fantasy Busts for Week 13:

  1. Anquan Boldin
  2. Steven Jackson
  3. Michael Bush
  4. Mike Wallace
  5. Joe Flacco

Five Fantasy Risks if You’re Desperate:

  1. Vince Young
  2. Tim Tebow
  3. Reggie Wayne
  4. Harry Douglas
  5. Shane Vareen


Over/Under Lock of the Week (Record, 5-3):  Jets/Redskins Under 38.5  



21 thoughts on “Week 13 NFL Preview — Hire Rob Ryan Edition.

  1. oh please say it ain’t so Grossy. I’d rather eat glass and keep Andy Reid for 20 more years than have that dufus in here. Time for young blood…get a rising college coach with some fire under his ass…time for something new man…not a pro wrestler. Everyone can probably agree Rex Ryan is a better coach then Rob and he will never win anything either.

  2. you wrote: Look at the Luxuriousness.

    i dunno, i kinda agree with mr. foolingapril…

    however, maybe a screenplay can be developed about the franchise and the crazy heart version of jeff bridges can play the lead.


  3. This would never happen. But, I think you could do worse. The Eagles really need someone new to evaluate personnel at every position except maybe running back. That’s a big part of the problem too.

    Also, despite promising I would not pick the game 3 days ago. I’m taking the Birds tonight (-3) in Seattle. I was reminded on the radio that Vince Young owns Pete Carroll. Also, this is a game the Eagles will win easily just to be annoying. Their us against them mentality only kicks in when they’re 3-4 games under .500

  4. I’m so torn with the first pick. Palko? Is Yates or Delhomme starting, b/c like he Wilson said in Starsky and Hutch “good, cause i’ll take either.”? So many options, such a lack of conviction.

  5. It’s my understanding that Yates is still starting. But, that don’t mean he’s finishing.

    Not sure about Palko/Orton. And, it’s that time of year when maybe a real smart player looks to the forecasts. 40 % chance of snow in Chicago this weekend.

    I know you’ve got you back against the wall. You can’t afford to mess this up.

  6. Geez, piling on the pressure. I got two kids on trial for murder, i got your (stomping my foot) “biological clock”…is there ANYMORE SH*T WE CAN PILE ON?!?!?!

    Yeah i saw that about chicago, and i’m leaning that way. I need a big game, but i think pick 16 is gonna make or break me.

  7. haha, nice. a my cousin vinny reference will give you amnesty for the starsky and hutch quote earlier. you’re probably right 16 will be key. stay away from the Bills game.

  8. Oh Man, I thought I was going to be out on the limb with this one, and I was comfortable with that, but no.

    Kraft: Give me Philly -3 over Seattle

    The Eagles are the annoying team that will beat the shitty teams and
    then get pounded and look like amateurs vs the real teams. They get
    the ‘W’ in the Pacific NW and announce to the nation, 7-9 HERE WE

  9. Haha…

    I have no excuse for myself, other than I completely out-thought myself. When the schedule came out a million years ago everyone had this as a loss regardless of how the Birds were playing.

    That was, yet again, the worst performance of the year. Clearly have packed it in. And, Andy Reid’s press conference. My god, what can you say? If the Eagles organization isn’t the laughing stock of the NFL right now, I’m not sure what is. I’d be shocked if they win more than 1 more game.

  10. yeah, just the usual.

    He said the better positions thing multiple times. he’s short and confrontational with the writers, who are just trying to get him to say anything. they do seem to be a bit more emboldened now that the team is in free fall. still no one has asked, “andy, we’re 3 months into the season, any idea when you’ll get the guys in better position?”

  11. I admit to checking espn.com a few times this morning in the hopes that one of the news headlines will say “Sources: Reid on way out as coach of Eagles”

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