Week 14 NFL Preview — Midwest Frowny Face Edition.

What if the Heartland Loses Pujols and Pey-Pey in the Same Year?

Well I know 3-PT just rambled through about a million words on America’s former pastime, but I’ve got to say, that Pujols is some mutt.  Now would I want to stay in St. Louis?  God no, but you’d think “Prince” Albert would have gotten used to it after 10 years.  It always cracks me up when people think athletes are beyond greed.  You know when money doesn’t play a role?  When they’re out of options.  That’s about it.  Otherwise, honor is in the dollar, kid.  That’s Boiler Room.  And, the Angels just went ahead off the deep end.  C.J. Wilson?  Please stop.  He’s awful.  The New York/Boston/Detroit clubhouses just erupted in applause after this singing.  “YES!!!!! We still get to face C.J. Wilson in the playoffs!  All is right in the world.”   If the Angels wanted to get real aggressive, I would have dangled a little Mike Trout package at the Phillies for Cole Hamels.  You talk about a blockbuster.  Anyway, I’m now contractually obligated to get back to the NFL.


So, I was thinking the other day if this momentous decline of Donovan McNabb is one of the most embarrassing ends an athlete has ever faced.  It reminds me a bit of Drew Bledsoe, though Bledsoe at least maintained his dignity.  He was ushered out of New England and Buffalo, was terrible at the end in Dallas, but at least he knew it was over.  There was McNabb organizing his release without a team lined up to sign him.  That’s pretty humbling.  To think the Bears are really saying, “No, we’re better with Hanie,” is just remarkable, but then you look at what McNabb has done in the last two years and it makes a bit more sense.  I think it also speaks to Don’s complete lack of credibility as a locker room guy.  You almost can’t bring him in, because if he doesn’t perform or doesn’t beat out Hanie, it’s just going to be a monumental distraction and there he’ll be on national TV making awkward jokes with Rich Eisen.  Anyway, hopefully Donovan can take a hint, and fade away.


Contraction Special:  Tampa Bay @ Jacksonville.  

Good luck finding a place of business in Florida open on Sunday.  Everyone will be at the game.  It’ll be like Friday Night Lights.  Gone to State!   Anyone who suffered through Jacksonville on Monday night knows they should never be televised and they likely have the worst offense we’ve seen in the NFL in years and years.  I felt sorry for the die-hards.  There do appear to be a few thousand Jag loyalists who just sit there in disbelief.  The good news is, Jacksonville can just reload on a QB and Gabbert can get familiar with relaying signals from the sideline.  The Bucs are under the radar as one of the bigger disappointments of the year?  It shows how quick you can go from up and comer to basement dweller in the NFL.  I’m worried this might happen to my beloved Megatron next year.  Long story short, don’t watch this game.

The AFC Special:  Texans @ Bengals.  

The transition Houston has made from laughing stock to lights out on defense is pretty amazing.  You have to respect their belief they can win with Yates at QB.  Suddenly a team that was soft, couldn’t be counted on to win a close game, is smothering opposing offenses and grinding out wins with the running game.  That said, I don’t want to watch that happen.  I’m just saying–Good for you, Houston.  Without Andre Johnson and Schaub, the Texans become pretty boring and Cincy will scrap on defense too, so that will only make it tougher.  The Bengals will likely go with one of their Ced Benson 28 for 58 days and struggle to score.  What should be a good game between AFC playoff contenders becomes a snooze.

Game of the Week:  Bears @ Broncos.

It’s hard to believe, but Tebow is the best story this week.  He’s the most interesting thing happening.  First, the Bears bring a legitimate defense to Chicago.  How will Tebow fare against a team playing slightly better than the Vikings on defense?  I’m thinking there will be less blown coverages.  But, will Chicago be able to score?  It’s likely that Tebow will at least be within striking distance in the 4th quarter and then we know–all bets are off.  If the Broncos win and the Raiders get pounded by Green Bay, we’re getting awfully close to Tim Tebow being on the playoff stage.  You have to want to see that deep down.  I think everyone does.  And, the Bears must have this game.  They’ve got a built-in excuse, but this would still be a pretty big collapse, and a tough one to explain to fans when you’re going to war with Caleb Hanie.


Five Fantasy Busts for Week 14:  

  1. Mike Wallace
  2. Cedric Benson
  3. Michael Vick
  4. Any Bears RB
  5. Willis McGahee

I’m going to skip the pick-ups list this week.  There’s no one out there.  It’s bleak.  If someone has a question about a player for their playoff match-up, I’d be happy to answer.  Or, if you just want to not make a decision.  That’s a powerful force in fantasy.  I’ll take the blame.   I have about as good a track record as the Talented Mr. Roto, so you know, fire away.


I’ve been instructed once again to remind people about D.A. Thursday.  It’s the Browns!  Against Pittsburgh.  I might get wild and take Roethlisberger 16th.  Joe Haden is a beast.  Also, I requested to make this announcement:  Big Dub has officially taken the Steelers (-14) as one of his NFL plays.  Just like I knew he would.  I’ll be glued to the TV set.  My wallet will be glued inside my pants.  Good Luck, Big Dub.


NFL Over/Under Lock of the Week (Record: 5-4…yuck):  New York/Dallas Over 48.5


7 thoughts on “Week 14 NFL Preview — Midwest Frowny Face Edition.

  1. If I didn’t have a 1st round playoff bye, I might have a fantasy question.

    I gotta agree about Wilson. That could be an epic disaster. Is Mike Hampton the Angels GM?

    And, if you really wanted to get me going, you’d suggest Hamels for Bryce Harper, not Hamels for Trout.

    I’m going to stay away from the Thursday game, but you can’t blame anyone for picking it. It’s a long wait until Sunday.

  2. i dunno, i keep thinking about Pujols (no really, maybe my second thought of the day….but more time than most people get from me per day…),
    anyhow, i remember watching the rouse that was the way Pujols bought my heart (60 Minutes Interview at beginning of this season).

    and i kinda wanna think, okay, LA…people like LA. it’d be a nice place to live for 10 years. LA, nice place, even nicer with 250 mil.

    but i guess you’d know better than Q, people can live anywhere and still play for a team…just way less convenient though…and he’s apparently suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a family guy?!


  3. If there are only 29 owners willing to own teams shouldn’t we contract the 30th team rather than have the NBA run it as a cooperative? This doesn’t make any sense to me.

  4. I’m going to pick the rest of the Thursday schedule for the rest of the year.

    Next weeks is Jacksonville @ Atlanta. Ughhhh. Gimmie the Jags +17?

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