Oh my goodness, is it time for the playoffs yet? I’m getting impatient. I’m tired of watching Green Bay throttle bottom-feeders in meaningless games. I’m tired of people acting like Philly and San Diego could get into the playoffs and “make some noise.” I’m tired, so very tired, of hearing about playoff scenarios. You know what the only playoff scenario you need to know is? If on the last day of the season you’ve won your division, or have one of the best 2 records among non-division winners–you make the playoffs! There’s your scenario. So, stop wasting your time saying, “Wellllll, Dallas could lose to Tampa, then who knows?”
I understand why people latch onto the scenario, though, because they want their team to make the playoffs so badly. They can taste it. They need at least one more week of NFL action to obsess over. Sure, you’ll watch the playoffs anyway, but it’s not the same if your team isn’t in there. By the time your wild-card game starts, you’ll be convinced that 9-7 is not a fair representation of your team, and given the right set of circumstances you could beat the Packers in Green Bay. Stranger things have happened. I don’t believe anyone really roots against their team. That whole hoping for the draft pick thing is crap.
I bet if you rounded up some Colts fans you’d find the glee over the #1 pick to be a pretty thin veneer. There’s really no guarantee that’s going to be a boon for the franchise. And, the teams caught in the 4-6 win range don’t even have a franchise quarterback to look forward to. An 0-16 year has to be pretty draining, bruising even to the fan ego. Sure, you could drum up some excitement for Luck or for the big haul he’d bring in a trade, but you’ve still got a winless football team staring you in the face. And, it’s not even like you’re watching Luck, knowing he’s yours. This isn’t the Royals, who have some nice prospects you can go see and dream about the future. The product on the field right now is complete garbage. You’d have to think it’d be nice to pull out one win.
Contraction Special: Browns @ Cardinals.
I forgot Seneca Wallace was in the league. I hope he plays. Cleveland’s recent QB decisions: Let’s bring in Seneca Wallace and Jake Delhomme to compete for the job, and draft Colt McCoy. Sounds great, you totally deserve an NFL franchise. Next year you can clean house, bring in McNabb and Chad Henne and draft Kirk Cousins. It’s called a winning formula. Cleveland already lost their team once, so you figure if it happened again–they’d be prepared. I say contract away. As for Arizona, they’re a little like the Clippers of the NFL minus the creepy, allegedly racist owner. There’s always an expectation that things are going to end poorly, but there’s no way we’ll ever be rid of them. The crazy thing is, the Cards are a TD favorite. If Arizona’s a TD favorite, it’s not a game you want to see.
The AFC Special: Ravens @ Chargers.
I have a feeling both of these teams are going to play down a level or two in this game. You’re going to look up sometime in the 2nd quarter, it’ll be 7-6 with 9 punts and you’ll be flipping through the channels hoping Storage Wars is on. Philip Rivers jumped out of a plane today without a parachute. He’ll crash-land Sunday night. The Ravens are coming across the country, so I’d expect all the inherent troubles of that to rear their ugly head while Joe Flacco continues to sabotage his own career. Does anyone else think that Flacco has gotten involved with the wrong type of people? He owes. Big. And, he’s throwing games, only he can’t quite pull it off. The Ravens keep winning, so he owes more, and has to play worse, but that damn Ray Rice! It’s the only plausible scenario I can come up with in my head. In summary, I can’t believe they didn’t flex this turd out of Sunday Night. Hello? Tebow’s playing the Patriots.
Game of the Week: New England @ Denver.
Speaking of which…I think this is obviously the most interesting game of the week. Especially since Chuck Batch may be at the helm for the Steelers making the SF/Pittsburgh game the worst matchup of 10-3 teams ever. I’m thinking this could be New England’s revenge for the infamous Shannon Sharpe, “Call the National Guard, We’re Killing the Patriots,” Game. I don’t think Denver can stop the passing game of New England, and the Pats have to be better on defense than Minnesota. Right? Right? We don’t know, because that Tebow, he’s out there planting the seed of doubt. He doesn’t do any planting of his own, but he’ll make you wonder about your own team in the 4th quarter. Bet your ass on that. The crazy thing about the Tebroncos is that they are even compelling to watch on the ticker. 10-0 Bears 4th quarter. 10-7 Bears. Uh-oh. Two minutes left! Uhh-ohhh, Broncos have the ball back! 10-10! OT! Broncos win! Amazing stuff.
Week 15 Fantasy Busts:
- Cam Newton
- LeSean McCoy
- Larry Fitzgerald
- Anquan Boldin
- Tony Romo
Over/Under Lock of the Week (Record, 6-4…that’s profitable): Carolina/Houston Under 45.