Well, That Certainly Was Wild(ly Atrocious?)

Headed To Foxboro on the Wings of an Angel.

You know what’s missing from Tebow coverage?  The gratuitous girlfriend shot.  Is the guy single?  Wouldn’t all this be better if we could cut to the stands and see Tebow’s lady after every big play?  I’m talking tennis coverage.  Big point-shot the “friends and family box”-big point, repeat.  For all I know T-squared is an eligible bachelor, but if he did have a girlfriend I’d bet she’d be an easy crier.  I think she would have spent that entire 2nd half, if not the entire game yesterday  in tears.  And then, in overtime?  Forget about it.  It’d be TV gold, and it’d ratchet up the distaste for Tebow one more notch.  You thought it was maxed out?  Hardly.  Anyway let’s get on christiansinglemingle.com and get Timmy a significant other for Saturday night.  Other thoughts on the wild weekend…

Top-3 Disappointments:

1.  The Steelers defense.  I know they weren’t 100%, but it hadn’t taken a top-notch defense to shutdown the Broncos of late.  Not only did they continuously give up big plays, but they appeared to make absolutely no adjustments.

2.  Mike Smith.  This guy treats momentum like a hot potato. No, you take it.  At the end of the day the Falcons were probably going to get beat, but he sucked all the life out of his team with his hideous calls and decisions in short yardage. The first time he freezes his o-line with 100 guys in motion and the longest snap count of all-time then the next time they go sneak on an empty backfield?

3.  Hank Haney.  Not football related, but the guy wrote a book about his time with Tiger?  This is the only guy that can stand next to Tiger and look sleazy.  Could he chase a buck any harder?  Go charge some 30-handicap 5 grand for a 1/2 hour.  Leave your spiteful, non-insightful memoirs in the drawer.

***

Top-3 Beasts of the Weekend:

1.  WRs.  Did you see the game Megatron had in the losing effort?  Unreal.  But, it was just one of multiple huge efforts by wide receivers.  Hakeem Nicks had a monster, game-changing run after the catch against the Falcons where he split the defense and then ran away.  Then, Demaryius Thomas arrived in OT for Denver.  The speed and power he showed dismissing the Pittsburgh secondary was pretty remarkable.  Someone get this guy a QB.

2.  Drew Brees.  If this is going to be the year the great QBs just sit back in the playoffs and zip the balls around like it’s a 7 on 7 drill in shorts–Brees held up his part of the bargain for the 1st week.  Also, the unnecessary TD vs. backdoor cover see-saw was incredible in this game.  Finally, Stafford ended the debate.  I needed the win badly.

3.  Arian Foster.  I don’t know why I’m not a huge fan of Arian Foster.  I think it’s because I didn’t draft him in fantasy 2 years ago.  But, he’s actually a pretty good player–surprise.  He’s the only reason the Texans have a shot to do anything. They’ll be big underdogs in Baltimore, but he might be the best player on the field considering Andre Johnson has Yatesy throwing to him.

Honorable Mention:  Your 1st place 76ers.  Two BLOWOUT home wins.  They’re like the Butler of the NBA.

***

Playoff D.A. of the Week:  Andy Dalton.  

Why do they call you Red?  Maybe it’s ’cause I’m Irish.  Oh, Andy, you really let down Red, Brooks, Heywood, Tommy, Floyd and Rita Hayworth on Sunday.  Dalton’s pick-6 to J.J. Watt was the highlight of Saturday’s action.  It totally turned the game and was a hell of a play by Watt.  Nice Hands.  And, you can make the argument that the play wasn’t Dalton’s fault, but that doesn’t change the fact that it ended Cincy’s season.  And, the rest of Dalton’s work on Saturday was equally troubling.  When he wasn’t throwing it up blindly to A.J. Green he was largely ineffective.  Three INTs, he took a very winnable game in the first half and turned it into a blowout loss.  A more partial man gives the award to Matt Ryan, but we all know I like picking on Dalton, so deal with it.

Playoff Pick Results:

  1. Big Dub:  3-1
  2. Grossy: 2-2

Obviously, Big Dub has my number this year.  I just can’t slip by him.  I felt very good after Saturday.  Texans cover and then the Saints game goes almost exactly how I predicted.  I even felt decent after the Giants/Falcons game started…but once that turned it turned for the worst for the rest of the day.  And, Timmy T buried me, sentenced me to anonymity and despair.  At least I have another chance to pick against him coming up this weekend.

***

BCS Title Game:

Alabama has settled in at a 2-point favorite, which in theory means they win with ease.  The way I see this is you can root for one of two options.  First, you want ‘Bama to win to ensure BCS chaos.  Perhaps even more ludicrous would be Alabama winning and then not winning the unanimous National Title.  That’s probably the worst thing that could happen to the BCS.  The 2nd option is, you just want LSU to win because you’re tired.  All that vinegar over the lack of the playoff has left you in the last six weeks and you just want it to be over.  You’re tired of hearing about the BCS.  It’s never going to change, so let’s just shelf it until next year.  If LSU wins there will be no debate.  Zero.  And, we can all move on.  I’ve been staunchly pro-Bama, pro-Chaos, but on the day of the game I’m cringing at the thought of all the lip-smacking and pedestal climbing that will happen if the Tide pulls through.  In the end, I’ll probably just watch The Bachelor.  Those girls are cray-zee.

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7 thoughts on “Well, That Certainly Was Wild(ly Atrocious?)

  1. I meant to ask you about the Hank Haney book. My favorite part so far is that he “always knew” he was going to write a book about Tiger. Could you possibly define yourself as more of a parasite than that?

  2. yeah, the guy is incredibly creepy. it takes about 5 seconds of watching his show to figure that out.

    i love how he acts so put upon. oh, i was on call. i had to be wherever tiger wanted me within 24 hours. WAH. he made your life. you don’t get the haney project for being buddies with Mark O’Meara.

  3. And isn’t that kind of the definition of a coach? In reality, you SHOULD be wherever Tiger is b/c you’re coaching him. It’s like Joe Girardi complaining that Steinbrenner was making him go to EVERY game and stay the WHOLE time. Tiger is notorious for his work ethic, did Haney think he’d just cruise on by with a few phone calls and maybe a range sesh?

    Loved watching WVU completely blow out Clemson and hang 70 points on them. Between that and the Michigan State saga, this BCS season has been farcical. Although, I guess that’s par for the course really.

  4. Haney probably thinks Tiger should have moved to Texas (or wherever the bleep he’s based) to work with him.

  5. Did this book just come out? Despite all signs pointing to Haney being a “haughty assbag” are you going to read the book? I mean, there’s gotta be a few interesting things in there, right?

  6. It’s coming out before the Masters.

    I won’t buy it. I guarantee you anything worthwhile will be highlighted in excerpts.

    No way i’m going to torture myself through 279 pages (guess..the standard length of any large-fonted puff-oir) of Haney yammering.

  7. 3-Putt, didn’t you hear…the crier from the recent Bachelor season has her eyes set on Tebow. and can we get her blog info? i’d like to leave her a comment that her tears were missed at last night’s game.

    3-Putt..T’s imaginary PG girlfriend was the second happiest girl on the planet last night after that massive attack in OT. i hear there’s this girl from Philly, all hearts and stars for Tom Brady, and she was jumping up and down. just because, just because…the new OT rules are awesome?

    and finally, i also heard – as not to say anything directly that q’d regret with all her BIG bleeding Brady heart, later – i heard Shila from the 96.5 Philly radio show say this morning (funny right when i got in the car), “I am so excited for Tom Brady to take it to Tim Tebow…that boy’s just too nice, and it makes me (not want to trust him).” Q added the parenthetical comment.

    But, ya see, I don’t have to say a word. I’ll just sit back and … see what happens.

    Q

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