This Stuff Happened — 2/7/12

Wing Bowl Teeters on the Edge of Philly's Great Debate.

A writer from Gawker went “undercover,” at the Wing Bowl this year and not surprisingly the resulting article was far from glowing.  I don’t know how you can give favorable coverage to a wing-eating contest, but the real trouble is the crowd.  The homogenous meatheads who chant to see topless women, hurl trash, beer and slurs all over the place–that’s the real problem.  It’s a crowd that fits right in with Philly’s negative stereotypes.  And, as a member of the Philly area I’ve got to say it’s not the easiest behavior to defend.  Some people, though, think Philly’s reputation is forever gone, so might as well embrace things like the Wing Bowl.  We’re slovenly, drunken, and willing to pack an arena to watch people eat wings–deal with it.  Should Philly try to rein in the Wing Bowl a little bit, or is this our fate?

***

Slow play on the golf course might be the ultimate 1st world problem as the tweeters would say.  Really, can it be that bad?  You’re golfing.  But, it’s one of those things that is hard to explain.  I think a lot of golfers would be more offended by someone pulling up and telling them they’re holding up the whole golf course than if they were told they suck at golf.  That’s just the way it is.  I am a fast player (an actual fast player, everyone THINKS they’re fast), but there are times if I’m in a foursome on a weekend or something and there is a twosome pushing us from behind that I really get pissed off about it.  Again, I don’t even know why.  People lose their minds over slow play all the time, and it results in way more fights than you’d think.  I’ve seen a few.  Recently a guy ended up getting stabbed in the leg with a broken golf shaft after a slow play altercation.  Is someone eventually going to be killed over slow play?  I’m honestly not sure.

***

So, everyone is obsessed with Knicks guard Jeremy Lin.  Just as long as we can agree it’s mostly because he’s of Taiwanese descent and partially because he went to Harvard?  The guy has played significant minutes in two NBA games and put up 25 and 28 points.  This is impressive and the Knicks I’m sure are hoping they have a player, but the only reason I know about him–someone who doesn’t pay much attention to the NBA–is because he isn’t black.  None of this “Linsanity” stuff is happening after two games if he looks like the majority of the players in the NBA.   He’s not on Grantland yet, he’s not on the front page of SI–nothing.  It’s the Woodhead factor.  I guess I’m OK with this?  I don’t know.

***

Robert Downey Jr. named his son, “Exton.”  Big shout out to Exton Beverage, Exton Mall, Exton Pizza Hut lunch buffet, RIP Exton Denny’s.  Does that about cover it?  The kid could be named after Exton, PA as far as I know–it’d make as much sense as anything else.  Celebrities continue to give their kids odd names.  I think it’s mostly because they can’t imagine themselves having a normal child.  So, they feel it needs a “special” name because they are special.  My top five baby names if I was famous…

  1. Oreo
  2. LaOreo
  3. Duckbill
  4. Friction
  5. Horseshoe
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17 thoughts on “This Stuff Happened — 2/7/12

  1. One day while I was mindlessly working the register at a famous golf club in North Carolina, a dude came in with a bloody face demanding to use the phone to call 911 (this was back in the days when most people didn’t have cell phones, I know that seems like ancient history but it was only about ten years ago people.) Anyhow, there was some disagreement about slow play, someone hits onto the green while the group in front of them is still putting, someone else throws someone’s ball into the pond, someone tries to retaliate by throwing someone else’s bag of clubs into the pond, and before you know it, someone has been hit in the face with the blade of a sand wedge swung like it was a blackjack. Let that be a lesson to you. If you’re going to try to throw a dude’s clubs into the pond, first make sure he hit the green in regulation.

  2. yeah, that’s a classic tale.

    Most of the stuff I’ve seen involves only verbal confrontations. My personal favorite involved some old guy’s wife. It was his 2nd wife (at least). Anyway, after an especially long round this guy is standing in the 18th fairway about 200 yds out. From the tee, he begins to get heckled–aggressively. “You’d need a rocket launcher from there,” etc. Keep in mind these people are members of the same club. He waits it out. The groups finish. When the hecklers come in, the guy’s wife comes storming out to the bagroom and totally loses it on the guys.

    A long and elegant tirade that ended with her informing the guys that her maligned husband had, in fact, “hit the f*cking green.”

  3. The more I read about this slow play the crazier it seems, and I get as furious as the next person when I’m getting held up.
    Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the group in front of you is usually the perfect distance away for you to be “a tough guy”. You can see what they’re doing, but they can’t hear you so you can just mouth off as much as you want. And then here and there the anger just ends up spilling over.

  4. People are crazy. It happens. Maybe it’s the junk talking you describe and people get free and easy because they think, what’s a guy who plays golf going to do to me? Then someone snaps.

    Also, people do really stupid things playing golf like hitting into people, etc.

  5. I almost lost it once after waiting over 5 minutes to hit my 3rd on a par 5 while two guys argued on the green over the final score of the hole. They were screaming at each other and tearing up the green with their spikes as they walked back and forth to make a point over ball location and number of shots. I’m sure it was all over $1. I ended up laying down on the fairway and waiting it out – one of my better moments.

    Speaking of wings – I recently took care of a long-standing bet and downed 100 in under and hour. Harder than I thought, but the first 50 went down in under 12 mins. and I had a 15 min. break due to the Ale House’s shitty service. I think if I wasn’t forced to sit for 15 mins. I could have hit 75 in 20 mins. Didn’t start hurting until I stopped. 70 – 100 were a struggle.

    • Only you would say “i could’ve hit 75 in 20 mins” as if it’s an innocuous, normal statement. Is that an accomplishment or a failure? I’m not even sure.

  6. I love that you had a standing bet about eating 100 wings. Unless they were super mild, I can’t imagine the next day.

    It’s an impressive feat, definitely a war of attrition.

    • We used to down a large pizza and 20 wings – each. I know we have some years on us now but 100 wings is nothing more than an extra plate at Thanksgiving.
      Yup, Charmin is the way. It’s also crazy cheap at Costco. If anyone ever ask why they’d ever need that much TP – 100 wings is why.

      • First, you realize that just b/ you did it in college doesn’t necessarily make it less gross or more healthy right? How many things in your life do you do and then reference college as a justification that it’s ok to do it now? Obviously my decision making in college was horrendously worse than yours (and pretty much everyone else alive) but……still though. 100 wings is a lot, i don’t care how you slice it. It’s equally impressive and abhorrent.

        I thought you’d go with baby wipes or something of a moist nature. Seems like that would benefit your “Area” much better if you were visiting it as much as i assume you were.

    • Average size of a chicken wing is 29 grams or one ounce. A pound of wings normally has 16-20 wings. Each wing has 61 calories.–this is all alleged since it’s off the google on the intranet machine. So i guess somewhere between 5-6.5 lbs.

  7. I’m sure doing it once isn’t that bad for you, but that’s impressive to have that kind of top-side capacity still these days.

    Six pounds of chicken? YES!!!!!!!!

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