Mini Anden Wins Football Bets

And Staring Contests.

NFL pick posts are a delicate business.  There is an understanding that you’re going to get games wrong.  At least that should be the understanding.  At times you are going to look downright foolish.  The key is to keep things entertaining.  You’ve got to find an angle that makes people say, “I wonder what that idiot who picks 48% winners is talking about today?”  The Sportsguy spent about 750 words comparing his non-housebroken dog to Tony Romo and the Cowboys on Wednesday.  See, that was a losing pick and a total waste of your time.  We’re going to shoot for the exact opposite of that here.  Who knows, among the group, someone might actually get hot.  Let’s cut it out with the pap and get down to business.

***

Big Dub, 2011 Record: 46-33-6

Philadelphia (-9) over Cleveand.  What’s the record for most sacks in a game?

Tampa Bay (+1.5) over Carolina.  Who is Carolina to lay points on the road.  Tampa is a real sleeper team this year.

Buffalo (+3) over New York Jets.  As long as the Jets are laying points, I’m betting against them.

Kansas City (+3) over Atlanta.  The Chiefs are another sleeper team.

Arizona (+3) over Seattle.  I trust Skelton more than Wilson, because Skelton has and uses Fitzgerald.

***

Kraft, 2012 Record: 37-42-6

Philadelphia (-9) over The Mistake by the Lake.  Cleveland is gearing up to be the worst team in the league.  Thirty-five year old rookie QBs don’t have a great track record (see: Weinke, Chris) and their great hope at RB had knee surgery three weeks ago.  Let’s hope Vick doesn’t have any flashbacks at “The Dog Pound,” and can focus on shredding Cleveland’s defense.

Buffalo (+3) over Tebow.   This line puzzles me.  I don’t think the Jets score a TD until 2013 unless it’s on defense or special teams.  It’s Buffalo’s time to step up and make a wild-card run.

Kansas City (+3) over Atlanta.  Atlanta is a trendy pick this year, but Kansas City is tough at home and has everyone back healthy.  I’ll take the points at home.

New England (-5) over Tennessee.  I don’t think the “Hurt” Locker is going to be a good NFL QB.  Fifty percent college completion percentages don’t translate well to the NFL.  Brady picks up where he left off and throws 6 TDs to 6 different tight ends.

St. Louis (+7.5) over Detroit.  I think Detroit takes a step back this year and St. Louis takes a step forward.  Jeff Fisher’s mustache is worth three wins alone.  The Lions D is a little suspect and Bradford steps up and takes advantage.

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JCK, 2011 Record: 39-45-1

  1. Panthers (-1.5) over Tampa Bay
  2. Bills (+3) over New York Jets
  3. Atlanta (-3) over Kansas City
  4. Patriots (-5) over Tennessee
  5. San Diego (+1) over Oakland

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Nichols, 2011 Record: 39-43-3

  1. Seattle (-3) @ Arizona
  2. Indianapolis (+9.5) @ Chicago
  3. New England (-5) @ San Diego
  4. Pittsburgh (+1) @ Denver
  5. San Diego (+1) @ Oakland

***

DC–Rookie

Buffalo (+3) over New York Jets.  Why start the year with a road dog?  Because the Jets, S-T-I-N-K.

Minnesota (-3.5) over Jacksonville.  I think Minnesota will be better than everyone thinks this year, and I think Jacksonville will be HORRIBLE.

Philadelphia (-9) over Cleveland.  See D.A. Rankings.

New England (-5) over Tennessee.  I must be missing something here.

Tampa Bay (+1.5) over Carolina.  I already traded Vincent Jackson off my fantasy team, but I’ll take Tampa based on the premise that you must fear the Head Coach of RUTGERS.

***

Grossy, 2011 Record: 44-38-3.  

Chicago (-9.5) over Indianapolis.  The NFL isn’t like the NBA.  Tim Duncan can’t show up and improve the team by 40 wins.  You cannot overstate how hideous the talent is surrounding Andrew Luck.  And, the Bears?  The Bears are going to score some points this year.  Cutler looks better than ever–he’s down to three chins–and is reunited with Brandon Marshall.  Bears by three touchdowns.

Phiadelphia (-9) over Cleveland.  This is really starting to feel like a bandwagon pick, and I’m sure all the dumb money is on Philly, but sometimes the public gets lucky.  This will be one of those games.  The Eagles could cover this spread with Nick Foles, because Cleveland isn’t going to be able to score points and Weeden will be lucky to survive.  Keep McCoy loose and limber.

Jacksonville (+3.5) over Minnesota.  I don’t think AP is going to be out there and Toby is the poor man’s Peyton Hillis.  I’m putting all my faith in Jacksonville’s defense, plus they should be able to relax on the road where they can’t hear the taunts of the individual fans that dot their home stadium.  Taking Blaine Gabbert on the road is asking for the awful pick of the week, but what does taking Christian Ponder anywhere set you up for?

Houston (-12.5) over Miami.  Vegas is thinking, how high can we make a line in week one?  How many points do we have to put up there to get any money on the Dolphins?  They didn’t go high enough.  The Dolphins might show some scrap for a while, but how are they going to score points?  A coupla-three TDs and Houston should be safely in coverville.  Could Tannehill contribute the bonus pick-6?  MAYBE.

Oakland (-1) over San Diego.  My heart wants to pick the Chargers.  I have Philip Rivers on my fantasy team.  I’m thinking I’ll need a big effort Monday night to even have a chance.  But, I’ve seen this script.  I’ve seen this script when the Chargers were a better team than they are this year.  If you can count on one thing, you can count on Norv Turner not having his team ready for week 1 on the road.  Raiders win an absolute stink bomb.

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5 thoughts on “Mini Anden Wins Football Bets

  1. Pats are only -5.5 vs the Titans? The last time they faced each other the Pats won 59-0. The time before that they won 40-23. Have the Titans closed the gap enough to only need 5.5? If ever a line told you something, this would be the game. But does anyone have the balls to actually take it?

  2. I hold every single one of you responsible for that trash i witnessed in person on Sunday at MetLife Stadium. All of you….and Fitzy. From this point on, I’m picking him in DA every week. Please make note. Those picks weren’t even CLOSE to being good throws, or adequate throws….or throws a competent high school QB could make. Cromartie should have had 2 picks (best WR on the Jets dropped an easy one), why are you throwing at Revis, um, ever, especially on a 15 yard out when you have the arm strength of a 3 yr old parapalegic? (My Cousin Vinny voice) $60M, for this RIDICULOUS thing…..fah you Buffalo….

  3. There is a radio guy in Philly who was talking last week about how the Jets just give the Bills fits and he thought that NY would win this game, but Buffalo would have the better season. He said it with such conviction, that I almost picked the Jets, but then history would have been forever altered.

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