Scarlett Johnsson Had The Rams…

Let’s See What Else She’s Got.

Well, I’ve been in pretty poor humor the last 36 hours.  If you didn’t notice, I skipped the mailbag this week.  It’ll be all right.  Just think about all the amazing questions that are accumulating for next week.  There is a ton going on in the world of sports this weekend.  Bud Selig’s two do-or-die games are played today.  I suppose any reputable sports blog would be covering those games, but I think I’ll stumble into the LDSs sometime next week.  I’ll start covering the Tigers in the playoffs when Justin Verlander has a decent outing.  As far as today goes, I’d expect Atlanta to handle the Cards and Kyle Lohse and just to shake it up a bit, I’ll take the O-ree-ohs to finish off Texas’ epic buckle.  But baseball is leaving a foul taste in my mouth, so to properly move on, we must pick NFL games.  AND PICK THEM WELL.  Let’s get started…

DC, Record: 11-9

Carolina (-3) over Seattle.  What kind of team loses on the road to a bad team two weeks in a row?  A team that still owes karma, that’s who.  S-E-E-H-A-W-X, Seehawx.

Washington (+3) over Atlanta.  I think Atlanta is ready for a letdown game.

San Francisco (-10) over Fuffalo.  I do NOT think SF is ready for a letdown game.  Not at home, not against Good Will Hunting at QB, and not against three RBs (CJ Spiller, Fred Jackson, Antowain Smith) who are going to combine for 57 yards on 27 carries at Candlestick.

Cincinnati (-3.5) over Miami.  I served with Andre Ware.  I knew Andre Ware.  Andre Ware was a friend of mine.  QB Dolphins, you are no Andre Ware.

Houston (-8.5) over New York Jets.  As a wise man once said, sometimes it’s as easy as picking the best team in the AFC to beat a pile of slop.

***

JCK, Record:  10-9-1

  1. Atlanta (-3) over Washington
  2. Green Bay (-7) over Indianapolis
  3. Chicago (-6) over Jacksonville
  4. Houston (-8.5) over New York Jets
  5. Seattle (+3) over Carolina

 ***

Nichols, Record:  11-10

  1. Atlanta (-3) over Washington
  2. Denver (+7) over New England
  3. San Diego (+3.5) over New Orleans
  4. Houst0n (-8.5) over NYJ

***

Big Dub, Record: 11-9-1

Washington (+3) over Atlanta.  I actually believe in RG3 now.  I also don’t believe in Atlanta’s defense.

Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Philadelphia.  Steelers are off a bye and they are coming off a bad loss.  Plus, they are getting some key defensive players back.  This could be the game Vick gets knocked out.

New York Giants (-8.5) over Cleveland.  Someone has to pay for the loss to the Eagles.  Why not take it out on the Browns?

New Orleans (-3.5) over San Diego.  The Chargers lay their typical early season egg.

***

Grossy, Record:  10-8-2

Minnesota (-5.5) over Tennessee.  Are the Vikings a decent team?  In the world I know, Christian Ponder is terrible and the Vikings are still reeling from Donovan McNabb.  But, maybe they’ve shaken the stink of Brad Childress.  The beauty of it is, it really doesn’t matter, because I know the Titans are horrible.  Locker, Hassel-pick6, they can send Kerry Collins into the huddle with a pony keg of Keystone Light.  The Titans will cover this line with their own incompetence.

Kansas City (+6.5) over Baltimore.  How am I going to justify this one?  I’m not going to go overboard on Arrowhead Stadium because it may be a great place to catch a game, but I don’t see any signs it actually helps the Chiefs.  If it did, they would be better.  I don’t trust the Ravens’ run defense.  And really, their defense in general is trading off reputation.  If something wasn’t fishy here, the line would be much higher, at least in that 8.5 range that Vegas has wood for this week.

San Francisco (-10) over Buffalo.  This is essentially the same game the Niners played last week, except the team from “NY” will be in a different uniform.  The Bills should be able to move the ball a bit, but a team that makes Mark Sanchez look good at QB is going to make Alex Smith look like Geno Smith.  How many points can the Bills give up this year?  I think 500 is on the table.  Let’s make some history.

New Orleans (-3.5) over San Diego.  Either the Saints are going to win going away, or we’re still giving way too much credit to the Saints.  I’ll tell you which it is on Monday.  I don’t think New Orleans is going 0-16.  They should pick up a win HERE OR THERE.  This week feels like a good time to get off that bagel.  They weren’t embarrassed by the Packers last week, so things are looking up.  The Chargers going on the road again–spells doom.

Houston (-8.5) over New York Jets.  When I saw this game teased last Monday night I thought to myself, Texans (-13.5).  So, this number looks a bit suspect to me.  Did the Jets get 22 new starters I don’t know about?  I just don’t see how NY is going to score, even if they do play a bit better than last week.  Houston is balanced on offense, the Jets can’t get stops like they used to–these teams are on different levels.  Al Toon is going to score as many TDs as the rest of the Jets this week.  That’s zero for those playing at home.

***

Kraft, Record: 12-7-1

Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Philly.  Vick struggles mightily against teams that pressure the QB and that’s what Blitzburgh does.  Vick also struggles making reads pre-snap.  Dick LeBeau is going to dominate this chess match.  Not a good spot for the Eagles, Pittsburgh off a bye and they cannot afford to go 1-3.

Baltimore (-6.5) over KC.  Bloodbath.

Houston (-8.5) over New York Jets.  Bloodbath Part II

Jacksonville (+6) over Chicago.  I’m going against my rule here of never, ever betting on Jacksonville, but this is a trap game.  Chicago is off a big win and a short week, having to travel to the sh*thole that is Jacksonville to play in front of 45,000.

Washington (+3) over Atlanta.  I’ll gamble with RG3.  Letdown for Atlanta.

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11 thoughts on “Scarlett Johnsson Had The Rams…

  1. oh shoot! must c tv. JCK, good luck if you face the elements. it is october up there, could turn to snow. nothing says magic like Pats in the snow. Q

  2. I’m staring 0-5 right in the face.
    Can the debate over Flacco being elite officially end today? 9 pts against a terrible KC team.

  3. I felt pretty good about those picks, unlike the last two weeks. I figured when Baltimore didn’t pull out a garbage cover that things might go my way. I couldn’t have been more comfortable in the Vikings and Niners. That Niners game was really the easiest of the year. We’ll see what happens tonight.

  4. I had Minnesota for awhile and then inexplicably dropped them from the final list in favor of Cincinnati. I think I just wanted to use the debate joke. Oh well. I think the question remains: is Minnesota good?

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