It’s going through the motion season. The Eagles are going through the motions, fantasy owners are going through the motions, and I’m going through the motions in Pick ‘Em. I wish I could say I’m motivated to pull myself out of the cellar, but this is an all or nothing proposition. No one is going to remember who finishes third. Tough to digest another year where I didn’t figure out the system and pick 70% winners. Every September I feel so confident. So, here we go, I’ll try to keep my nose above .500.
Big Dub, 33-26-2
Chicago (-3.5) over Seattle. Lynch is banged up and Wilson is still the QB. Lock. It. Up.
St. Louis (+7) over San Francisco. I’m waiting for this to blow up in Harbaugh’s face.
Dallas (-10) over Philadelphia. It has blown in Andy’s face and I’m waiting to see how bad it will get. I think it’ll get worse.
Oakland (+1.5) over Cleveland. The Browns are laying points on the Row-Add?
San Francisco (-7) over St. Louis. QB controversy doesn’t matter when you play teams like St. Louis.
New York Jets (-4.5) over Arizona. Jets need something to feel good about. This is their only shot.
Buffalo (-6) over Jacksonville. Henne is bound for a fall.
Houston (-6) over Tennesee. Titans are horrible.
Cincinnati (-1.5) over A Whale’s Vagina. Red and Green put up points. Rivers sucks and his 0-line is even worse.
Tampa (+7) over Denver. Tampa Bay needs a “w” to stay in the wild-card race. They played Atlanta tough. I just don’t see Denver winning their last 11 straight.
New York Giants (-3) over Washington. This RG3 Fairy Tale needs to calm down. Giants assert their will.
Seattle (+3.5) over Chicago. I’ll take the points. Bears are banged up, Marshawn is going to be able to run the ball effectively. Cortez Kennedy causes problems for that shaky Bears O-line.
Cincinnati (-1.5) over San Diego. When you give up a 4th and 29, you lose your soul. Cincy is in the playoff hunt and they take advantage of a team that has clearly quit. There’s no Natrone Means to light a fire in that locker room.
Jacksonville (+6) over Buffalo. Gross baited me and I’ll oblige. Ride the Jags. If I won the Powerball for 550 million, I would have spent it all on Chad Henne’s right arm.
New York Giants (-3) over Washington. Washington can hang with the rest of the slop in the NFC East, but I think it’s clear after Sunday night that New York is easily the best team in the division. Eli doesn’t play well against Washington, but after seeing RG3 earlier this year, I think the Giants will be better prepared and should win easy by a TD.
Tennessee (+6) over Houston. Because it doesn’t make any sense. I guess Tennessee is playing better and Houston doesn’t have their blowout magic from earlier in the year, but six still seems awfully low. The AFC South is the division of the missed blowout opportunity. It always used to be Indy @ Tenn, or whatever, but now Houston has taken that role. You saw them struggle with Henne, this week they struggle with Eddie George.
Jacksonville (+6) over Buffalo. Speaking of Henne. I can’t turn away from six points. The Jags are reinvigorated by the hiss of the Henne spiral and they’ve also added noted “glue guy,” Jason Babin. Is it too late for a Super Bowl run? The good news is, the Jags are going to blow right by the Eagles in the standings. Hello top-3 pick.
Carolina (-3) over Kansas City. Unfortunately for the Birds, they’ll never catch Kansas City. They’ve zeroed in on the top pick. They also need to zero in on a new coach. Romeo has no Juliet. I’m afraid the Chiefs might end up at 1-15.
Tampa Bay (+7) over Denver. Hoping for a push here. I would like to lead the contests in *no actions.* I think that’s my only shot at any glory. The Broncos have won six straight. I think they’ll probably be looking forward to that epic battle against the Raiders next week. When you’re preoccupied with trying to game plan for Todd Marinovich, you’re not going to be able to blowout these Bucs.
- Green Bay (-8) over Minnesota
- San Francisco (-7) over St. Louis
- Carolina (-3) over Kansas City
- San Diego (+1.5) over Cincinnati
Seattle (+3.5) over Chicago. I think Seattle will win this outright in a very close game. Even if they don’t win, I LOVE the extra half point. The outcome just makes sense. Chicago falls into a tie with Green Bay in the NFC North and Seattle puts itself in prime position to be the sloppy 9-7 second NFC wild card team that no one will especially want to play.
Green Bay (-8) over Minnesota. Part II of the NFC North scenario. Green Bay’s secondary sucks, but Minnesota’s passing offense SUCKS WORSE.
Washington (+3) over New York Giants. I think RG3 may be in line for a transcendent performance this week.
Indianapolis (+5) over Detroit. I don’t know if everyone else has noticed yet, but Detroit has GIVEN UP.
Denver (-7) over Tampa Bay. I don’t like Tampa Bay getting on a plane and flying out to Denver during a letdown week.