A Gulf of Winners.
I can’t remember the last time I looked at a line and thought, “easy.” I’m not even talking about a game I got right. For about a month I’ve been so twisted in knots that I don’t even have gut reactions to the spreads. I’m going to try to show some conviction this week, though. Maybe a positive attitude can turn things around. Maybe I should make a ridiculous statement or two like, “Jim Harbaugh is the Most Valuable Man in the NFL.” Let’s see where this goes. In gross disagreement with the old theory, “make it, take it,” I’m going to lead off with my own picks this week. Deal with it…
Grossy, 29-33-3
New York Giants (-5) over New Orleans. After flip-flopping on New Orleans all year, I’ve decided that they are not the offense they once were. They can be controlled by good teams and can no longer make up for the deficiencies of their defense. Can they beat the Eagles? Yes. Can they go into NY and win? Probably not, and since New York KIND OF needs this game and it’s against a high-profile QB–I’m expecting a blowout. Suck on that, Giants fans.
Philadelphia (+7.5) over Tampa. The Bucs can officially do what Easy E, Tim Dog and Luke did in “F*ck Wit Dre Day.” Did you know that Tampa is celebrating the 10-year anniversary of their Super Bowl win this week? Of course they pick the week the Eagles come into town. Amazing things about this? We’re still hot on John Gruden and he won a Super Bowl 10 years ago. Andy Reid blew that game and he’s STILL HERE. Eagles got a miracle cover last week, figure on a legitimate cover this week, and one more accidental win on their way to 4-12.
New England (-3.5) over Houston. Houston can’t stop high-scoring offenses. They couldn’t stop Detroit, hell they couldn’t stop the Jags. I just hope Belichick lets Mosi Tatupu loose and doesn’t run some vanilla scheme in preparation for their inevitable playoff meeting.
Jacksonville (+2.5) over New York Jets. Was there ever a doubt? I made a slight error in judgement last week. The Bills can score. The Jets can’t. They’re going back to Mark Sanchez. They’d be better off picking one of Jacksonville’s 9 fans to play QB. After Lindley last week, Chad Henne is going to look like Kurt Warner to the Jets’ D. Outright City.
Atlanta (-3.5) over Carolina. Here’s a little bit of what’s going on. Atlanta (-3.5)? That’s too easy. The Panthers stink. Again, they aren’t playing the Eagles. But, then I’m all…wait, why isn’t this line bigger? Is Carolina good at home? I should go the other way. PANTHERS IT IS! Then, they lose by 20. I’m hoping for the 1st half point in NFL history and a 24.5-21 push. Congrats on your 12-1 start, Brian Jordan.
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JCK, 38-27-1
- Chicago (-3) over Minnesota
- Green Bay (-6.5) over Detroit
- Dallas (+3) over Cincinnati
- Miami (+10) over San Francisco
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Nichols, 37-29
- Buffalo (-3) over St. Louis
- Cincinnati (-3) over Dallas
- Seattle (-10) over Arizona
- Green Bay (-6.5) over Detroit
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DC, 38-26-1
Chicago (-3) over Minnesota. Nothing has changed to make me think that Minnesota’s passing offense is better than it was last week, and Chicago’s got something to prove now. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Joey Webb make an appearance in this one.
Cincinnati (-3) over Dallas. It’s time for Dallas to get serious and start fading out of the playoff picture. Raise your hand if you want to see Andy Reid in Dallas next year. Ed “Too Tall” Jones in the Wide Nine?
Miami (+10) over San Francisco. I really want Kaepernick to succeed because I picked him up in fantasy and would like to use him in my playoff run. But wouldn’t it make more sense for SFO to struggle in this game and thus plunge the team into more QB psychodrama?
Buffalo (-3) over St. Louis. Buffalo continues to torture its fans by putting itself on the outside brink of the playoff race before inevitably falling short.
New York Giants (-5) over New Orleans. Giants defense controls this game and puts Perry Fewell on the short list of top coaching prospects.
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Big Dub, 35-29-2
Philadelphia (+7.5) over Tampa Bay. Because Steve de Berg and Reggie Cobb aren’t walkin out of the tunnel.
Green Bay (-6.5) over Detroit. Because Rodney Peete and Herman Moore still have their schtank on the Lions’ franchise.
Seattle (-10) over Arizona. Because Chris Warren IS walking out of that tunnel.
New York Giants (-5) over New Orleans. because NO ONE can stop Phill Simms to Stephen Baker The Touchdown Maker.
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Kraft, 35-29-1
I know this blog does not follow NBA, but I need to recognize a remarkable performance last Sunday and dedicate my picks to: Rasheed Wallace. On Sunday vs the Suns, he logged 1 minute, was 0-0 from the field, and had 2 Techs and an ejection. He was screaming ‘ball don’t lie’ as he walked off. Why do I dedicate this week? Because the ball don’t lie- if you stink, you stink. No lipstick on any pigs this week.
RG3 (-2.5) over Flacco. Ravens d is not what it used to be, the unibrow at the helm? Ball don’t lie.
KC (+6.5) over Cleveland. KC comes together, Cleveland doesn’t deserve to give 6.5 to anyone. Ball don’t lie.
Indianapolis (-5) over Tennessee. Would you net against Chuckstrong at home? I’ve also seen enough of Andy Luck to know that he is in another stratosphere than Jake the snake Jr. Ball don’t lie.
Cincinnati (-3) over Dallas. I can’t believe I’m going to say the following- ‘Dallas, Cincy ain’t Philly, you come back to reality this week’. Romo fumbles the PAT attempt, why? Because the ball don’t lie.
Houston (+3.5) over New England. Ill take the points. JJ watt creates havoc, Schaub is solid and moves the ball. This Texans team is of the mold that gives NE problems each yr in the postseason. I like the points in my back pocket. Ball don’t lie.
3-Putt Territory 
I didn’t really remember this, but as I was going through the archives a while back, I noticed that in Kraft’s first season of picking games he often used NBA references. I believe there may have been an entire week dedicated to Jack Sikma? Anyway, we know how that season turned out, is it safe to return to the NBA?
and, I assume everyone already saw Henne:
http://deadspin.com/5966718/here-is-chad-henne-cuddling-in-a-pajama-onesie
Fair point. But it’s hard to ignore a 1 minute ejection. This is my make or break week, and I’ll push all my chips in the center with ‘Sheed
The references this week were strong- Ed too tall in the wide 9? Rodney Peete, Chris warren
Chad Henne what else is there to say? I guess we need mrs Henne to post on Facebook ” chad can’t throw it and catch it as well!”
I admit the Atlanta line threw me for a curve. I thought I was missing something so I stayed away.
Love the references. I’m still waiting for a comment on my Gulf of Tonkin (Resolution) reference.
Deuce Staley must be 340- what a blimp
Gulf of Tonkin, wow. Right over my head, is all I can say. Robert Caro hasn’t gotten that far in the 5-part Lyndon Johnson biography yet.
Arizona- what an embarrassment. Wave the white flag. They need to trade Larry Fitzgerald, it is a crime to waste his talent.
Arizona is blowing up the DA scoreboard. It is comical. Replace Helter Skelton after his 18 rating and his 4th pick? Ok, mr Lindley, fumble on your 1st series. There’s still 4 mins left in the 3rd qtr. this could be the greatest DA performance of all time
It really is remarkable.
Do they take a QB in all 7 rounds next year at this point?
and, why do they keep switching? What’s the point?
Nothing like a 1-4 week to bring you back to earth. Ouchies.
Some strange games. A month ago I would have had Carolina with confidence, but now I’m just elated to be 2-2.
Looks like Big Dub is going to make a late run at repeating.