As I watched the second half of the Eagles game last night I thought to myself, wasn’t life better when I didn’t have the NFL Network? At 11 pm on a Thursday night there doesn’t feel like there is any place to escape. Is Pawn Stars on? The Big Break? No, so I sat there watching and what struck me was how many Bengals fans were in attendance at Lincoln Financial Field. This isn’t surprising in terms of seats being available for the opposing teams, I just didn’t realize that there were this many Bengals fans outside of Cincinnati. Good for the Bengals fans for traveling. They must still be fired up about being rid of Carson Palmer. And, A.J. Green. He’s OK. If you missed out on that Bengals lock last night, here are some more winners…
- Green Bay (-3) over Chicago
- New York Giants (-1.5) over Atlanta
- Miami (-7) over Jacksonville
- Denver (-2.5) over Baltimore
- Massachusetts (-5) over San Francisco
- Washington (PICK) over Cleveland
- New York Jets (+2) over Tennessee
- Seattle (-5.5) over Buffalo
- Denver (-2.5) over Baltimore
Tennessee (-2) over New York Jets. Do we think the Jets are going to win 3 in a row to put themselves kinda sorta on the edge of the playoff hunt at 7-7? No, no we do not, and that is why they have an implosionary loss to the Titans here. It’ll involve Chuck McElroy, let’s just put it that way.
Baltimore (+2.5) over Denver. What, are the Broncos going to win out? Mark McLemore walks, steals second, and scores the winning run on a David Segui single to put the Orioles over the top. Gregg Olson with a perfect ninth for the save.
Minnesota (+3) over St. Louis. One of these two teams is going to win this game. If Minnesota wins, they’re 8-6. If St. Louis wins, it’ll be four straight wins and they are 7-6-1. Don’t both scenarios seem equally implausible? I’ll just take the points: MIN beat STL in ’87 behind the pitching of Frank Viola and they can do it again here.
New York Giants (+1.5) over Atlanta. I think Atlanta is still out ahead of themselves a little bit, and it would make sense for them to lose two in a row so we can have a week of “what’s wrong with the Falcons?” stories. Sid Bream can’t score from second every game, and that’s the difference that puts the NY ___ball Giants on top in this one.
Indianapolis (+9) over Houston. I don’t think Indianapolis will win this game, but maybe it gets a little awkward.
Big Dub, 40-29-2
Green Bay (-3) over Chicago. Don Majkowksi delivers the magic.
Cleveland (Pick) over Washington. Mark Rypien can’t get back up for this one and Darrell Green cant shut down the Browns on his own.
New England (-5) over San Francisco. Irving Fryar owns Ronnie Lott.
Buffalo (+5.5) over Seattle. I dare someone to give QB Bills points at home. Okay, it’s kind of a neutral field, but it’s more of a road game for the Seachickens than anything.
Atlanta (-1.5) over New York Giants. I think Atlanta needs this one much more than the Giants, combined with Chris Chandler’s home record = ATL W. Also will put the giants where they are most comfortable: playing must win games starting next week, with people starting to doubt them.
Denver (-2.5) over Baltimore. What’s worse: knowing 1 yr in that you wasted a 1st rd pick on a QB, or slowly agonizingly coming to that realization over a few years? You can’t win a Super Bowl with Joe Flacco and an average-to-good defense. You need the fresh off a murder acquittal Ray Lewis led dominant defense, plus an adequate QB. Raven free fall continues. Flacco throws 3 picks and asks for Peyton’s autograph after the game.
San Francisco (+5) over New England. Ill take the pts. I feel like this is a 3.5 pt game. SF is physical and will create some problems for Tom terrific. Vollmer will struggle keeping Charlie Haley off of #12s blindside. Harbaugh gives Belichick an aggressive handshake, possible nut shot, post game.
Jacksonville (+7) over Miami. revenge game for Chad Henne. The Dolphins once had the 2nd coming of Dan Marino and they cut the cord. They’ll regret that decision come Sunday. What does everyone know about chad Henne other than his rocket arm? He has an elephant’s memory.
Tennessee (-2) over New York Jets. I love the sh*t show game of the week. Rex Ryan calls Munchak before the game and asks if Billy Volek is available via trade? Tenn wins 5-0 in the worst Monday night game ever.
Denver (-2.5) over Baltimore. I think we may have exhausted the names of former NFL players, and DC switched over to baseball players this week, so I’m going to have to do something a little different this week. I’m going to start simple. The Ravens are awful. Ray Lewis just makes them older. Is Peyton Manning going to win out? Probably. I heard he wants one victory for every inch of forehead.
New York Giants (+1.5) over Atlanta. The Giants beat the snot out of the Saints last week. In the dreadful NFC South there isn’t much difference between the glitzy Falcons and the tainted Saints. Who dey gonna beat Dem Saints? Pretty much any team that can scrape together 22 guys.
Jacksonville (+7) over Miami. Henne, and remember when the Dolphins were a model franchise? Don Shula stuffed into his white golf shirt with the leathery tan and Super Bowl rings? This is the team that fans in Miami actually care about and they stink for all eternity. PS, Coach Shula, your steakhouses are terrible. I’d rather go to Longhorn.
New England (-5) over San Francisco. I got a picture of my college roommate hanging from a basketball rim this morning. Sophomore year he was 5’10”, 210 lbs and could barely graze the bottom of the net. Assuming there wasn’t a mini-tramp involved, sports miracles are happening this weekend in New England.
Houston (-9) over Indianapolis. Ok, I did this last week. This line makes no sense. It’s way too high. That should mean a Texans blowout, so I’ll try, maybe I’ve bottomed out and I’m due for a dead cat bounce. Texans were embarrassed last week. Need a bounce back, Luck still throws a few too many picks, sets up for a game that gets away from the Colts. Plus, I saw a guy with C-cups wearing a skin tight, homemade Luck shirsey yesterday. If I wasn’t at work, you’d be looking at a picture. Had to be a sign.