Week 16 NFL Picks

Let's Retrieve Some Winners.

Let’s Retrieve Some Winners.

So, the world didn’t end today.  Always seemed unlikely.  One thing I think about when these people are predicting the pending doom of the entire planet is that they’ll never be validated.   If we get meteor’d, it’s not like they”ll be able to go on TV and gloat about it the next day.  But, when they’re wrong–and they’re always wrong–we get to laugh and point at how dumb they are.  Of course, the Mayan doomsday apocalypse also would have wiped my terrible NFL picks off the face of the earth and that wouldn’t have been all bad, but then we would have missed this shot of a dog walking around in a full Santa suit.  The Picks…

Kraft, 40-34-1

New Orleans (+3) over Dallas.  Brees shreds Dallas’s D, Kyle Orton can’t keep up after Romo is knocked out. Vilma collects the $25k bounty for knocking Romo out…oops, did I say Bounty?

Washington (-6.5) over Philadelphia.  With the 4th pick in the 2013 NFL draft, the Eagles select Luke Joeckl, OT from Texas A&M

Tampa Bay (-3) over St. Louis.  TB shows a little more pride coming off the 41-0 drubbing.

Cleveland (+13) over Denver.  Cleveland’s new owner owns truck stops. I don’t bet against the American Dream.

New York Giants (-2.5) over Baltimore.  Big time bounce back.


Nichols, 42-33

  1. Carolina (-9) over Oakland
  2. New England (-14.5) over Jacksonville
  3. Indianapolis (-7) over Kansas City
  4. Denver (-13) over Cleveland
  5. Chicago (-6) over Arizona

JCK, 44-30-1

  1. Tampa Bay (-3) over St. Louis
  2. Chicago (-6) over Arizona
  3. New York Giants (-2.5) over Baltimore
  4. New Orleans (+3) over Dallas
  5. Green Bay (-12.5) over Tennessee


DC, 41-33-1

  1. New Orleans (+3) over Dallas
  2. New England (-14.5) over Jacksonville
  3. Houston (-7.5) over Minnesota
  4. Chicago (-6) over Arizona
  5. New York Giants (-2.5) over Baltimore


Grossy, 34-38-3

Dallas (-3) over New Orleans.  Are the Cowboys going to buckle in the regular season, or are they going to limp into the playoffs and then crush the hopes and dreams of their fans?  Because the Saints are so terrible on defense, and because I have a morbid curiosity to see Romo in the playoffs again I’ll take the Cowboys to win nice and breezy.  See what I did there?

Miami (-4.5) over Buffalo.  These are the types of games I deserve to be picking.  Trying to figure out which team has given up MORE.  Buffalo got embarrassed at home last week, they’re not going to be able to run the ball in Miami and you know what that means.  A Fitzpatrick turnover festival.  Somehow this rivalry went from Thomas vs. Marino to Spiller vs. Tannehill.  Weird.

San Diego (+2.5) over New York Jets.  Greg McElroy is laying points now?  You know that old joke, “Alabama could beat the Jets,” or whichever team?  Well, that’s crap, but I’m fairly sure there are plenty of D-I football schools where McElroy would safely be on the bench.  If you were going to bring Nick Saban back to the NFL my biggest concern would be how he wins in college by recruiting and not by riding great QBs.  You can’t recruit in the NFL.  And Greg McElroy doesn’t win NFL games.

Philadelphia (+6.5) over Washington.  Mostly because RG3 is on my fantasy team.  Also, something just feels weird about this one.  Andy Reid’s last (?) home game?  The Eagles are honoring Brian Westbrook.  I just don’t see this being as easy for the Redskins this time around.  Andy denies the home fans the booing window they’re looking for.

San Francisco (-1) over Seattle.  Dear Seattle, the Sonics are going to win a title before Russell Wilson.


Big Dub, 41-32-2

  1. Detroit (+3.5) over Atlanta.  Falcons blow.
  2. Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Cincinnati.  Dalton blows.
  3. Chicago (-6) over Arizona.  Bears defense covers this on their own.
  4. Seattle (+1) over SF.  Someone please stop this Kaepernick madness.
  5. Philadelphia (+6.5) over Washington.  Who is Washington to lay this much on the road.

4 thoughts on “Week 16 NFL Picks

  1. I can’t express how much I hate Seattle. I’m not saying I made a good pick, because clearly I didn’t, but I just hate Seattle.

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