*I’ll start by saying it wasn’t a great D.A. week. Lot of bye weeks, and history made the wrong way by one D.A. squad. All I can say is, with Seneca Wallace around, things can only get better.
What happened Atlanta? Ten months removed from knocking on the door of a Super Bowl, the Falcons are 2-6. In the NFL, a league where the Redskins, Rams, Bills and Raiders have managed three wins, how does a pre-season favorite who plays in a division with the winless Bucs only have two? You can blame injuries all you want, but I choose to blame karma. Atlanta, the runaway winner for worst professional sports town in the country, is getting what they deserve. Also, Matt Ryan has started throwing interceptions at an alarming rate. He’s got seven in his last two games, and the spiral has taken him straight to his first (maybe, have to check with D.A. Elias) D.A. award. Let’s hear it for the rich man’s Chris Chandler!
I just heard back from the D.A. research department, and this is Ryan’s 1st D.A. award. Last year in week 11 he threw 5 INTs, but ran into one of the most competitive weeks in D.A. history. Andrew Luck threw two pick6s, Nick Foles had 53 points, but it was John “Helter” Skelton (moment of appreciative silence) who took the top spot, In a strange twist of D.A. fate, Skelton was 2/6 for 7 yards and winning 14-0 when he was benched–for RYAN LINDLEY. Nothing more D.A. than that.
Getting back to Ryan, this is the worst stretch of his career we’re seeing now, and it makes you wonder a bit how much of Ryan’s success has been his embarrassment of riches at the skill positions. He’s obviously still a capable QB, but is he elite? The last two weeks (losses to meh Arizona and blah Carolina), Ryan has been busy throwing backbreaking picks and not giving his team even a shot to win.
- Team Horse Face, 6-3
- Fake Chow, 5-4
- Eli Esses D, 5-4
- D.A.iry Queen INC, 5-4
- Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 4-5
- Doubleback Vineyards, 4-5
- Tampa Ticklesh*ts, 3-5-1
- Carlos Danger, 3-5-1
HVTM Smokes Tampa Ticklesh*ts 60 to 13.5 to Get out of the Basement.
Highlights: Going by points, it was Jeff Tuel’s D.A. day. Mixed in with flashes of competence was a mess of bad throws and probably the most crippling Pick-6 of the year. It produced 41 pts for HVTM who then widened their margin of victory with Jake Locker. For Tampa, it was too many yards for the gunslinger, Philip RIvers, and with just five weeks to go, Tampa is going to have to make a move in a hurry to get into the playoffs.
Eli Esses D Benefits from Horse Face’s Historic Blunder, 7.75 to (-93)
Highlights: Not a typo. The worst score in D.A. history. Both individual and team categories. Nick Foles, looking like Andre Ware in his Houston days, threw 7 TDs against 0 INTs on his way to -80 points. Unreal. Jason Campbell pushed Horse Face to their historic nadir. The standings tighten and Horse Face is hobbled in the points race as well. For Eli, RG3 threw a 0 yd Pick-6. We had a 100 yard pick6 and a 0-yard Pick6 in the same day. Magic.
Fake Chow Wins Putrid Pitcher’s Duel, (-5) to (-8)
Highlights: Fake Chow owes the win to Joe Flacco, the only man with any respect for himself in this matchup. Flacco reeled off a respectable 18 points and countered the disappointing game from Kase Ceenum. D.Q. looked set up for an easy win, but then Mike Glennon’s 1st half in Seattle happened and all logic went straight out the window. Both of these squads remain in good playoff position.
Doubleback Vineyards Sends Carlos Danger to the Brink, 46.75 to (-5.75)
Highlights: Big game out of Terrelle Pryor (32.75 points) made things easy for Doubleback this week. Pryor could not compete with Nick Foles and piled up the incompletions as Oakland chased a 5-TD deficit. Carlos got a meh game out of McCown, but Big Ben’s 400 passing yards sealed his fate. Carlos is in serious Danger of missing the playoffs–Rick Reilly.
Week 10 Draft Order:
- Horse Face
- Fake Chow
Week 10 Matchups:
- Happy Valley Tickle Monsters vs. Doubleback Vineyards
- D.A.iry Queen, INC. vs. Eli Esses D
- Team Horse Face vs. Carlos Danger
- Fake Chow vs. Tampa Ticklesh*ts