2013 D.A. Fantasy Football — Week 7.

Terrelle Pryor.

Terrelle Pryor.

I know things might seem bleak out there with Nick Foles looking competent and Thad Lewis drawing raves in his debut, but when it comes to D.A. Fantasy Football, I always prefer to look at the brighter side of things–even when my own squad has been getting thrashed.  Personally, I’ve been pointing to this Terrelle Pryor since the pre-season.  When the first rumors of Pryor starting began to swirl, it just made things more interesting.  Yes, the Raiders would still be mediocre, but Pryor is a total wild-card.  In fantasy terms and on the field.  I know I’ve mentioned this several times already, but it is still one of my favorite quotes of all-time.  In training camp this year, Pryor said something like this off-season was the first time he really learned how to throw the football.  He’s starting in the NFL!  That’s magic.

I must say that Pryor does appear to have honed his craft a bit, because that catastrophic 3 of 19 game or something along those lines hasn’t happened.  And, in general, he’s been better than a lot of people–including Eli Manning.  But, there was always that upside.  Pryor’s game, Oakland’s struggles…if they ever came together?

They came together on Sunday.  How do you get sacked ten times in a game?  Especially when you have the mobility of Terrelle Pryor?  Or does the mobility cause the sacks?  If you think Mike Vick holding the football is a nightmare, please do not watch Sunday’s game tape.  Derrick Thomas  (RIP) in Tecmo  Super Bowl gets 10 sacks.  Not the real life Chiefs. The number is an unofficial D.A. record.  Throw in 3 INTs (1 pick-6) and an 18/34 line and Pryor gets to 47 D.A. points.  An early TD was the only thing that kept him from pitching the D.A. equivalent of a shutout.  Keep scrambling, Terrelle.

D.A. Fantasy Football Standings:  

  1. Team Horse Face, 5-1 (171 points)
  2. Eli Esses D, 3-3 (163.5 points)
  3. Fake Chow, 3-3 (111.25 points)
  4. Tampa Ticklesh*ts, 3-3 (95.75 points)
  5. D.A.iry Queen INC, 3-3 (88.75 points)
  6. Happy Valley Tickle Monsters, 3-3 (77.5 points)
  7. Doubleback Vineyards, 2-4 (137 points)
  8. Carlos Danger, 2-4 (83.5 points)

So, I’ve totaled the points for the year to this point.  As you can see, Eli Esses D and Doubleback Vineyards records are relatively strengthened by their point totals, while D.A.iry Queen and HVTM need to keep winning and score some points to gain better tie-breaker position.  Still mostly wide-open with eight weeks to go.  Looks like at least one 7-7 team will get to the dance.


D.A. Quick Summaries:  

Happy Valley TIckle Monsters Slam Eli Esses D, 24 to (-57) 

Highlight:  Brandon Weeden was the game’s best individual performer with 15.75 points.  I’m not really comfortable living in a world where the Browns’ QB is putting up decent numbers, so this year has been a difficult to stomach.  Weeden is going to be in the lineup every week though, and I think he eventually reverts to more odious form.

Tampa Ticklesh*ts Continues Revival with 55 to 17.25 win over D.A.iry Queen, INC.  

Highlight:  Tampa wisely had Terrelle Pryor on the squad for this week.  We touched on Pryor’s heroics above.  Garbage time picks are one thing, when they are returned for a TD–that’s a whole other level of glee.  Also, this was a big comeback, Tampa was in a 34 point hole after Eli Manning DID IT AGAIN on Thursday night.  Just get the 1st pick and trade Eli to Denver to backup Peyton, OK NY?

Horse Face Clobbers Doubleback Vineyards, 34 to (-9.75)

Highlight:  The Texans/Rams game.  Doubleback had first chance in this game and made the mistake of trusting the Texans’ defense.  Sam Bradford had about the least impressive 3 TD  game you can imagine, but it still hurt.  Matt Schaub was the better play, but left the game injured allowing for the triumphant return of T.J. Yates.  In limited action Yates threw a pick-6 and approached 25 D.A. points.  He’s on the radar.

Fake Chow Wins (-6.5) to (-9) Slugfest over Carlos Danger.  

Highlight:  The highlight was that Chad Henne didn’t throw a pick-6 and Peyton did?  No, I just wanted to mention that.  This was a bit of a sloppy game, but I know that Fake Chow gets tremendous satisfaction out of beating BK, regardless of the score.  And, Carlos Danger is officially in a bit of danger in 8th place–needs a rally.


Week 7 Draft Order:  

  1. Horse Face
  2. Fake Chow
  3. HVTM
  4. DQ
  5. Tampa
  6. Eli
  7. Doubleback
  8. Carlos


Week 7 Matchups:  

  1. Fake Chow vs. Team Horse Face
  2. HVTM vs. Carlos Danger
  3. D.A.iry Queen, INC vs. Doubleback Vineyards
  4. Eli Esses D. vs. Tampa Ticklesh*ts

3 thoughts on “2013 D.A. Fantasy Football — Week 7.

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